Confession: such thing as too many venial sins?

[rosemerry]

Whenever I go to confession, I list several vague venial sins. Of course, I mention mortal sins too, but I don’t go into detail about these so that I can go on listing the venial sins. I’m even vague when it comes to the number of times the sin has been committed; if anything, I say it happened “a few times,” etc.

The last time I went, I counted fifteen sins total… which seems to me a bit scrupulous because I last confessed a month ago. And actually, most were venial, while some of them were feelings, not sinful behavior, which may not have even needed confessing. Is this normal or excessive?

Most of the time, the priest doesn’t me advice, even if I have something that I feel I particularly need to work on. This makes me think I should narrow my focus or go into some detail for particular sins. Or, on the other hand, should I continue as I have always done with a list of every venial that I could confess to be safe?

I am trying to grow in holiness by going to confession, but I’ve always been confused about what a good confession includes. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

 

[SuperLuigi]

Whenever I go to confession, I list several vague venial sins. Of course, I mention mortal sins too, but I don’t go into detail about these so that I can go on listing the venial sins. I’m even vague when it comes to the number of times the sin has been committed; if anything, I say it happened “a few times,” etc.

The last time I went, I counted fifteen sins total… which seems to me a bit scrupulous because I last confessed a month ago. And actually, most were venial, while some of them were feelings, not sinful behavior, which may not have even needed confessing. Is this normal or excessive?

Most of the time, the priest doesn’t me advice, even if I have something that I feel I particularly need to work on. This makes me think I should narrow my focus or go into some detail for particular sins. Or, on the other hand, should I continue as I have always done with a list of every venial that I could confess to be safe?

I am trying to grow in holiness by going to confession, but I’ve always been confused about what a good confession includes. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

You’re going to get a whole variety of answers on here, **but I think these are pretty indisputable: **

-You really do not need to go to lots of details of even mortal sins, but as CAF Senior apologist Jimmy Akin has written: “you need to mention the species of the sin”. That is also known as “kind of sin”. Going into all the bad details could even scandalize yourself or the Confessor I’ve even heard, so be careful here.

-Also confess mortal sins in number. I just do that the best I can because I have no idea which ones require # of times an which ones do not.

Some other advice:

Jimmy Akin also noted that it’s probably a good idea for those who are not scrupulous to follow the rule of confess it just to be safe, but I think his intention was to apply this to of “do I mention sin X or not” and I believe he has said to avoid unnecessary detail.

Ultimately, you’ll want to ask your Confessor and you may need to do that outside of Confession. I suspect he’ll tell you that a good Confession isn’t so much about mentioning details as it is about being sorry and wanting to change for the better.

Going to Confession once a month seems pretty reasonable to me.

 

[Mary_Ellen]

St. Francis de Sales recommends that we be as specific as possible in our confession and not just confess generalities. For example, he encourages us not to confess in such general terms such as we didn’t love God or our neighbor enough, or pray devoutly enough, since “Every saint in heaven and every man on earth might say the same thing if they went to confession.” (This comes from Fulfillment of All Desire by Ralph Martin)

I try to take this advice to heart ever since I read St. Francis’ advice and I find it really helps. Not just saying, “I was uncharitable towards a waitress,” but saying, “I was uncharitable towards a waitress by requesting that I not be seated in her section of the restaurant the last 4 or 5 times I went to dinner there, rather than put up whatever it is about her that annoys me and treating her with patience and charity.”

I go to confession weekly and may have a tendency towards scrupulosity. I spend about 30-60 minutes preparing for confession and I write a list of my sins down to bring in with me because I fear forgetting something. For this reason, and under the advice of my spiritual director, I try hard to keep my list of sins to one written page in a small-ish notebook. Of course, I would confess mortal sins first and the venial sins but I usually, by the Grace of God, only have venial sins to confess. If I miss a week of confession I do allow myself to have a slightly longer list.

I usually confess 6-10 sins each week. Your mileage may vary but 15 sins in a month doesn’t sound unreasonable to me.

 

[oldgraymare2]

Hi rosemerry,

I have mentioned this in other posts here on the CAF that I have used an “Examination of Conscience” booklet or leaflet when preparing for confession.

I have found it to be really helpful to me because it goes over sins in relation to the Commandments. I found it to be a helpful way to guide my conscience when preparing for confession. Sometimes I would forget something, and the booklet or leaflet would help me to remember.

I have gotten the booklets from my local Catholic book store.

Sometimes parishes will have the leaflets and will put them out before confession.

 

[SuperLuigi]

St. Francis de Sales recommends that we be as specific as possible in our confession and not just confess generalities. For example, he encourages us not to confess in such general terms such as we didn’t love God or our neighbor enough, or pray devoutly enough, since “Every saint in heaven and every man on earth might say the same thing if they went to confession.” (This comes from Fulfillment of All Desire by Ralph Martin)

I try to take this advice to heart ever since I read St. Francis’ advice and I find it really helps. Not just saying, “I was uncharitable towards a waitress,” but saying, “I was uncharitable towards a waitress by requesting that I not be seated in her section of the restaurant the last 4 or 5 times I went to dinner there, rather than put up whatever it is about her that annoys me and treating her with patience and charity.”

I go to confession weekly and may have a tendency towards scrupulosity. I spend about 30-60 minutes preparing for confession and I write a list of my sins down to bring in with me because I fear forgetting something. For this reason, and under the advice of my spiritual director, I try hard to keep my list of sins to one written page in a small-ish notebook. Of course, I would confess mortal sins first and the venial sins but I usually, by the Grace of God, only have venial sins to confess. If I miss a week of confession I do allow myself to have a slightly longer list.

I usually confess 6-10 sins each week. Your mileage may vary but 15 sins in a month doesn’t sound unreasonable to me.

While I cannot go against something your spiritual director has said, is he/she aware that you spend 30-60 minutes on the examination of conscience?

 

[Bookcat]

Whenever I go to confession, I list several vague venial sins. Of course, I mention mortal sins too, but I don’t go into detail about these so that I can go on listing the venial sins. I’m even vague when it comes to the number of times the sin has been committed; if anything, I say it happened “a few times,” etc.

One need not get “detailed” – but one is obliged to confess all mortal sins in number and kind (and that which changes the kind -like it was the Church you broke into and stole from).

Adultery 2x, Missing Mass 3x, Murder 2x–or if you do not know the number one may approximate according to what you know - around 3x, few x, many times --but if you know the number one must give it …if one has knowingly hid a mortal sin in the past - one needs bring that up with the Priest in confession -he can guide one. And if one say committed 5 murders but honestly thought you could say “a few times” -note that and then one mentions in was 5).

That is for mortal sin.

Venial sin need not be confessed (though it is good to confess some) and can be forgiven in many ways -and even in confession under the “and my sins” at the end. They need have no numbers and can even more general.

As to confession of venial sins - one may confess all the ones one wishes – but it can be recommended perhaps to you (since you bring this up) to pick some - and not try to bring a whole list. Resolve in a particular way to work on them and work in a special way on decreasing and overcoming them. Then add the general “and all my sins”.

 

[Theophilus76]

Isn’t the Sacrament of Reconciliation required only for Mortal Sin? Aren’t our Venial Sins are absolved at Mass, or through private, contrite prayers?

I totally understand how one can strengthen their walk with God by seeking spiritual guidance on how to avoid Venial Sin through a good confessor and seek earthly penance vs. Purgatory time. But when it comes to the run-of-the-mill confessions (the quickie-method due to long lines in the chapel) where no spiritual guidance is offered, I’ve felt like I was wasting everyone’s time by bringing my Venial Sins to confess when someone else my need serious time to confess Mortal Sins and receive absolution.

 

[Bookcat]

Isn’t the Sacrament of Reconciliation required only for Mortal Sin? Aren’t our Venial Sins are absolved at Mass, or through private, contrite prayers?

I totally understand how one can strengthen their walk with God by seeking spiritual guidance on how to avoid Venial Sin through a good confessor and seek earthly penance vs. Purgatory time. But when it comes to the run-of-the-mill confessions (the quickie-method due to long lines in the chapel) where no spiritual guidance is offered, I’ve felt like I was wasting everyone’s time by bringing my Venial Sins to confess when someone else my need serious time to confess Mortal Sins and receive absolution.

Venial sins are not “absolved” at Mass --they can be forgiven then and other ways but Confession is good to approach frequently. See below. And there is particular grace in Confession…

Catechism of the Catholic Church:

1458 Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church. Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament the gift of the Father’s mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as he is merciful…

scborromeo.org/ccc/p2s2c2a4.htm#VII

 

[Mary_Ellen]

While I cannot go against something your spiritual director has said, is he/she aware that you spend 30-60 minutes on the examination of conscience?

Yes, thanks for your concern. It’s usually towards the shorter end, beginning with a prayer for enlightenment and ending with a prayer for contrition. I generally use an examen based on the 7 Deadly Sins. If I use the one based on the 10 Commandments it takes a little longer.