Confession Tonight

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steve975

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Tonight a priest will be coming over to hear my confession. Due to withholding sins and other problems with past confessions, this will be an extremely long confession in which I will try to confess everything I can remember. I have many humiliating and terrible sins to confess. I’ve delayed this for a long time for these reasons. Also, I am concerned about having a firm purpose of amendment for all my sins as this relates to my current job. I am concerned and I want the confession to be valid. I have written down an extremely lengthy confession and I think it will be pretty long and terrible. But it doesn’t matter if it isn’t valid. The only reason this is happening is because of the support of a couple friends who spoke to this priest and this priest taking the initiative to contact me and come see me. I hope this priest isn’t turned away when he sees how lengthy this confession is and how bad it is, especially given he’s doing this on his own time he could be spending with friends or family. I want the strength to get through this in its detailed entirety, and the confidence tomorrow that it was in fact valid and I am absolved so I don’t have to confess these things again. I’m nervous so I thought I’d share.
 
i can imagine what you will feel after the confession!. Remember, Padre Pio used to spend hours in the confession and wouldn’t let the other leave unless he confesses everything. God bless you!
 
Sometimes withholding information is not good for the soul, we must make a confession in order to have or continue to have graces with God in my opinion.

Nothing you can say to the priest will shock him, he has heard it all and was trained on the things he would hear in confession, so don’t worry, and any concerns you have he will be glad to give you counsel on how to deal with issues you are struggling with.

Whatever the priest tells you to do, you must to do it. arguing will only make it worse or so I have read. Anyway no matter how horrible it might be you know you have to make amends with God, and doing whatever it takes is better then not doing anything about it at all.

Since the Priest was happy to hear your confession, be open minded and truthful with him, he only wants to help and give you guidance if you accept other wise it will do you no good.

As long as he gives you Absolution, your confession is valid
 
What you describe is extremely common–except the friends arranging for the priest to make a house call. That is great! You have some friends who* really* love you! Rest assured that you will not turn away the priest with what you have to confess…particularly not such a caring priest as you describe! You may feel better, though, if you raise your fears with him about whether you are capable of a valid confession, before you even get started.

You are starting the process of letting go of the habit of sin. That doesn’t happen in a day. It is rare to get knocked down and make a total turn-around. No one expects you to be St. Paul tomorrow morning. Even if that happened, don’t forget that he is the one who wrote that he did not what he intended to do, but the wrong he did not intend. Even St. Paul, the greatest of all “sudden-turn-around” stories, struggled with temptation and sin long after his big conversion.

What is important is that you are coming to realize that you have been made to be (and to be joyful being) a new St. Steve. If you trust and hope that God wants to do that and is able to do that, you will be on your way. Dare to have a firm purpose of amendment. Dare to reclaim it as many times as you have to. We all try and fail. I have heard it said that a saint is not one who does not fail. A saint is a sinner who is always willing to let God have another try. A saint dares to persevere, in spite of any amount of evidence that his desire for holiness is futile. Don’t forget that! Dare to hunger and thirst for holiness!

You might want to re-read the story of the prodigal son. Keep in mind that in asking for his inheritance, the son was saying, in effect, “Dad, I am tired of waiting for your stuff. I wish you were dead, so I could have it, and have you out of the way.” Yet the father was so hoping for his son’s return that he caught sight of the young man when he was still far off. You have not done anything worse than the sins Jesus forgave from the cross. Even if you could, he would forgive. He died to reconcile you to God. Dare to hope in his infinite power and his infinite desire to accomplish that with you.
 
CatholiCommit said:
Whatever the priest tells you to do, you must to do it. arguing will only make it worse or so I have read. Anyway no matter how horrible it might be you know you have to make amends with God, and doing whatever it takes is better then not doing anything about it at all.
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My confessor encourages us to ask questions and add information or even objections, just as we would with a doctor. I don’t mean arguing, but in the way that Mary questioned the angel at the Annunciation. A doctor wants the chance to explain his diagnosis and prescription. As in medicine, the penitents who feel they have had a real conversation with their confessors are the most likely to be compliant. After all, the course of our “treatment” after we leave the sacrament depends on us. (This is not likely to be a lengthy conversation, though, once the “treatment” has been ongoing for some time.)

To the OP: Also, be aware that our penance is NOT what we do to merit our forgiveness. God’s forgiveness is his free gift, and it is beyond us to deserve it! The penance is, rather, the first act we make within our new reconciled friendship with God. It is like smoking the peace pipe. So do not be concerned if the penance you are given seems light or seems to not relate directly to your sins. The idea is to put your sins behind you! The penance relates to the rekindling of your love affair with God, your willingness to do or to strip yourself of whatever is necessary for that love affair. Don’t look at it as a last step in the sacrament, but as the first one in your new start. Does that make sense?
 
I thank everyone for his/her replies. Although I should make it clear that my real name is not Steve.

As far as the last post by EasterJoy, what you say makes sense about the act of penance. At one prior confession (it was invalid) in which I confessed some terrible sins, I had a very hard time saying a simple “Our Father” after confession due to the fact that I couldn’t focus after going through with the confession. So I hope I can have the necessary focus after this extremely long and painful confession tonight that I can begin whatever penance is prescribed before straying.
 
I am just too chicken to ask my confessor any questions:p
 
I just read that under Canon 964 that the proper place for a confession is in a church or oratory in a confessional except for a just reason. This priest is coming to my apartment. Is this acceptable given my long confession? The priest is here from out of town, also.
 
Sure, the confessional might be the “proper” place, but it isn’t the “only” place. I had my confession heard out in the middle of a field once. Many parishes around Lent and Advent have community penance services and the priests move to whatever area is available for privacy. The location won’t affect the validity of the absolution.

I totally understand your apprehension, but this is a wonderful gift. Be open, humble and honest with the priest. Pray for wisdom to guide you through the process and all will be well!

Bless you!
 
CatholiCommit said:
I am just too chicken to ask my confessor any questions:p
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I am lucky in that I am totally unafraid of priests. I have asked them questions implying that I didn’t totally believe their take on things that made my husband say he thought lightning would strike, because he couldn’t imagine questioning a priest. But to tell the truth, they seem to like it. It is better than someone who holds onto the question without giving them any chance to answer it, I guess. It always seems they’re all comfortable that they know what they’re talking about, and don’t see my questions as a threat. Their sense of priesthood doesn’t depend on my opinion. They are humble enough to know they don’t have to have all the answers in a box, that there is always a new way to look at things. They can afford to be patient with me. The older they are, the more true that is.

If you question what someone says respectfully, it means they have really made you think, that you take what they say seriously. As long as you maintain a teachable attitude with your objections, it works out very well. I’ve learned much more after the questions than I would have without them.

I try to restrict myself to short questions during confession, specifically about the sins confessed. Under regularly-scheduled circumstances on Saturdays, the sacrament isn’t meant to take all day, or to be an in-depth counselling session. You have to be considerate of the people still waiting. That kind of thing is better taken care of with a larger block of time and no one waiting next in line, as the OP will have, or just as a theoretical question in an open situation.
 
EasterJoy said:
I am lucky in that I am totally unafraid of priests. I have asked them questions implying that I didn’t totally believe their take on things that made my husband say he thought lightning would strike, because he couldn’t imagine questioning a priest. But to tell the truth, they seem to like it. It is better than someone who holds onto the question without giving them any chance to answer it, I guess. It always seems they’re all comfortable that they know what they’re talking about, and don’t see my questions as a threat. Their sense of priesthood doesn’t depend on my opinion. They are humble enough to know they don’t have to have all the answers in a box, that there is always a new way to look at things. They can afford to be patient with me. The older they are, the more true that is.

If you question what someone says respectfully, it means they have really made you think, that you take what they say seriously. As long as you maintain a teachable attitude with your objections, it works out very well. I’ve learned much more after the questions than I would have without them.

I try to restrict myself to short questions during confession, specifically about the sins confessed. Under regularly-scheduled circumstances on Saturdays, the sacrament isn’t meant to take all day, or to be an in-depth counselling session. You have to be considerate of the people still waiting. That kind of thing is better taken care of with a larger block of time and no one waiting next in line, as the OP will have, or just as a theoretical question in an open situation.
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I have questioned my confessor as well, especially if I feel he didn’t quite get what I was saying. Then we discuss it. I have also questioned penances with him. He knows me well but sometimes his penances are a bit strange, not often, but once in awhile.
 
I’d like to thank everyone for their responses and support. I made this confession last night and went through my extremely long and painful list of sins. The whole thing took a bit less than 2 hours and I had a bit of a sore throat after from all of the talking as I went through my long list. I really feel for this priest for having to sit there and be patient with me as I took so much time and divulged so many terrible things. May God bless him.

Before I made the confession, my biggest concern was whether I would have a true firm purpose of amendment specifically as it relates to some of my past sins and my current situation at work, and as such, whether the confession was going to be valid. I found some literature online yesterday that indicated that the firm purpose of amendment doesn’t require an absolute promise not to commit a sin again, but an honest attempt not to do so. That really helped, and I’m hoping that I at least have that so that this confession was in fact valid.

It wasn’t as hard as I had expected. I expected to have a very hard time getting the words out, for my heart to beat uncontrollably, and for me to be shaking from anxiety. I really expected perhaps the most difficult experience I’ve ever had. The anticipation was very bad as I had no appetite all day yesterday, I was jittery and on edge all day, and I paced around my apartment for the better part of 35 minutes after getting home from work while I waited for the priest. But as I started to read, I eventually became a bit numb and feeling like a bit of a zombie just going and going and going through more items on my long list. By the end I was a bit dizzy and had a problem focusing. I had to ask him several times to explain the penance, which is a very simple-to-understand penance. But I kept having to ask for more clarification because I had a problem focusing. I’m pretty certain he read the given prayer for absolution, but I was also so out of focus that I actually need to send an email to him to have him clarify that he did for my own comfort. It was indeed very difficult, but I believe the Holy Spirit must have been protecting me to help me get through this much, much more easily than I expected.

I pray that all those in similar situations, dreading a very difficult confession and dealing with anxiety over it, will find their way to a priest, or have a priest find them, as finally happened with me. I pray that at the time of confession, all these people, and others with issues relating to having a firm purpose of amendment, will truly have the firm purpose of amendment necessary for their confessions to be valid. I pray that they may also have the support of friends and loved ones as I had in this situation to help them make a confession. And I pray that all priests can come to have the generosity, wisdom, strength, caring and insight on Church teaching that this priest has, and that they will put themselves out as this priest has to help those in need of confession. I pray that this priest, and all those who have supported me and others in these respects, will be rewarded by God.

So thank you, all of you. God bless you.
 
God bless you, “Steve!”
Feel better now? :getholy:

Happy for you,

Ruthie
 
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