Confession...very scrupulous...VERY personal!

[Convert_in_99]

Three questions on confession…2 are basic, one’s a little more in depth!

1. What if you can honestly not remember whether or not you brought a serious sin to confession?
2. What if you remember a serious sin when the priest starts talking/assigning a penance? I decided to not interrupt him and just wait for my next confession. Was this right?
3. I have committed numerous mortal sins (not just the scrupulosity/neurosis talking here.) Does anyone else ever get so upset over confessions, fearing that they are going to hell because they will never get all of their sins in, keep reading/studying and realizing they committed yet another one, to the point where you barely remember what you have confessed for real and are starting to want to give up on confession entirely?

Maybe I am just nutso……but any advice/comments are welcome. As well as answers to my first two questions.

Thanks everyone. God bless you!

 

[bilop]

Three questions on confession…2 are basic, one’s a little more in depth!

1. What if you can honestly not remember whether or not you brought a serious sin to confession?
2. What if you remember a serious sin when the priest starts talking/assigning a penance? I decided to not interrupt him and just wait for my next confession. Was this right?
3. I have committed numerous mortal sins (not just the scrupulosity/neurosis talking here.) Does anyone else ever get so upset over confessions, fearing that they are going to hell because they will never get all of their sins in, keep reading/studying and realizing they committed yet another one, to the point where you barely remember what you have confessed for real and are starting to want to give up on confession entirely?

Maybe I am just nutso……but any advice/comments are welcome. As well as answers to my first two questions.

Thanks everyone. God bless you!

1. If you honestly don’t remember, mention it again in your next confession, BUT, it is already forgiven. The priest’s absolution forgives ALL your sins, unless you have deliberately withhled a mortal sin.
2. If it is mortal, I’d mention it after he finishes what he is saying. But again, if you honestly forgot, it is forgiven. I always add, “and any other sins I may not recall” to my list of sins.
3. Relax. You don’t have to get all your sins in. Just mention the mortal sins you remember. When the priest says “I absolve you in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit”, you are absolved, of ALL your sins. Please believe it, it’s what Jesus promised Some priests will even say “I absolve you of ALL your sins, in the name…”

Please don’t give up confession. Just be a little easier on yourself. Remember God knows all your sins, and knows if you are sorry. Don’t doubt the efficacy of the sacrament.

May God Bless you and give you peace of mind.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

1. What if you can honestly not remember whether or not you brought a serious sin to confession?

First of all, deep breath, ahhhhhh, there ya go. Secondly, if you have done a good examination and you confess all the sins that you are aware of then I feel that you are okay. Again this is my opinion. Also, do you say at the end “for these and for all my sins?” God knows your sins and I feel that it would cover it. If you withhold a sin on purpose…lets tackle that next…

1. What if you remember a serious sin when the priest starts talking/assigning a penance? I decided to not interrupt him and just wait for my next confession. Was this right?

From what I have heard (Fr. Larry) if you fail to mention a sin (intentionally) then none of the sins are forgiven. I would have lightheartedly said “Pardon me Father, I forgot to mention (insert specific sin) and please forgive me for interupting a priest!”

My view (which I am sure is up for debate) would be that you intentionally withheld a sin and if it was a mortal sin, then I would say that you would need to go to confession again before receiving Communion. Again, my opinion, maybe I am scrupulous.

1. I have committed numerous mortal sins (not just the scrupulosity/neurosis talking here.) Does anyone else ever get so upset over confessions, fearing that they are going to hell because they will never get all of their sins in, keep reading/studying and realizing they committed yet another one, to the point where you barely remember what you have confessed for real and are starting to want to give up on confession entirely?

Let me just say that none of us deserve heaven, none! Having said that, but God’s grace and mercy we can spend eternity with Him. It is by His power that we are forgiven. All of our venial sins are forgiven at mass, the mortal ones we do our best to do a complete examination before confession and we confess those sins that are on our heart and that we are aware of, I think that we are proving to God that we need His mercy and fogiveness. If you are truly sorry and you repent of those sins, you are doing what He asks of you. If you walk out and remember a sin later on, just be sure to confess it (if it is weighing on your heart) next time. But again, if you have said “for these and for all my sins” I think that you have touched all the bases.

Having said that, if you do not want to confess masturbation (just using this as an example, not saying you specifically) and you think that by saying “for these and for all my sins” covers that, wait just a minute. Sins of omission are worse than the sins of comission. Any and all sins that you are aware of must be confessed and not thrown into the ‘blanket statement’ at the end. You must list those sins you are aware of by name. That is just what I have been taught.

Take heart, I am a sinner too, if it makes you feel any better.

 

[calchiquita]

Three questions on confession…2 are basic, one’s a little more in depth!

1. What if you can honestly not remember whether or not you brought a serious sin to confession?
2. What if you remember a serious sin when the priest starts talking/assigning a penance? I decided to not interrupt him and just wait for my next confession. Was this right?
3. I have committed numerous mortal sins (not just the scrupulosity/neurosis talking here.) Does anyone else ever get so upset over confessions, fearing that they are going to hell because they will never get all of their sins in, keep reading/studying and realizing they committed yet another one, to the point where you barely remember what you have confessed for real and are starting to want to give up on confession entirely?

Maybe I am just nutso……but any advice/comments are welcome. As well as answers to my first two questions.

Thanks everyone. God bless you!

1. It is forgiven already if you forgot to bring it up. But you are still supposed to confess it at your next confession, I think.
2. Same principle as number 1, I think, it would still be forgiven, but I don’t think the priest would mind if after the penance you say, uh, by the way Father, I just remembered something else I want to confess.
3. It is actually very difficult to commit a mortal sin. You have to do it willingly and I kinda doubt you are doing that. They might be serious, yes.

Talk to the priest about these concerns. If he doesn’t understand, you can ask people if they have other priests that they go to for confession (lots of times people who work for the church will go to a different priest for confession - just because, you know)

I am somewhat a newbie, only 1 year in the church, but this is how I understand things.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Thanks everyone. You are so kind. I am just REALLY down right now.

Mirror Mirror…I did bring that sin to my very next confession. I am ultra shy and seemingly could never interrupt a priest.

As for sins I don’t know if I brought to confession or not, well, these were two years ago. I honestly don’t remember. My memory isn’t the greatest. I was reading a post on CAF and realized…gee…I did that too. I wonder if I went to confession over that…! Also I tend to pick at sins over and over again. Well…I wonder if I said this if that would change the sin. That kind of thing.

I am a convert and kind of developed my own conscience…not good. I go through stages thinking EVERYTHING is a mortal sin. I love Jesus and I love His Church. I even DO love confession. However, there’s a part of me that thinks He didn’t mean for it to get this complicated or involved. (Probably Satan talking.) Then, the other part of me thinks its all my fault, I’ll never make a good confession, I’ll never get it all in, I’ll never get to heaven (Satan talking again.) I just can’t win either way!

 

[bilop]

I love Jesus and I love His Church. I even DO love confession. However, there’s a part of me that thinks He didn’t mean for it to get this complicated or involved. (Probably Satan talking.) Then, the other part of me thinks its all my fault, I’ll never make a good confession, I’ll never get it all in, I’ll never get to heaven (Satan talking again.) I just can’t win either way!

Convert, please don’t despair.

That is Satan talking, trying to make you give up on Confession, and give in to sin.

As long as you honestly try to remember all your mortal sins, and don’t deliberately hide something, you made a good confession.

Don’t ever forget that. When the priest says “I absolve you…”, it’s really true. That was Jesus’ promise to us.

God Bless you in your struggle with this.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Convert, please don’t despair.

That is Satan talking, trying to make you give up on Confession, and give in to sin.

As long as you honestly try to remember all your mortal sins, and don’t deliberately hide something, you made a good confession.

Don’t ever forget that. When the priest says “I absolve you…”, it’s really true. That was Jesus’ promise to us.

God Bless you in your struggle with this.

I try really hard to avoid sin, but I mess up all the time. I am also ultra hard on myself so I don’t know what I am doing half the time. My husband thinks I am fine. But I don’t know. I just go to confession, not even knowing what my sins are, guessing most of the time whether they are mortal or venial, babbling like a child, and feeling that I messed up either during or afterwards. It really makes my head hurt. uch:Literally ill. I’ve been to years of counseling and spiritual direction with only minimal improvement. I just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel right now.

Thanks for the prayers and support!

 

[bilop]

I try really hard to avoid sin, but I mess up all the time. I am also ultra hard on myself so I don’t know what I am doing half the time. My husband thinks I am fine. But I don’t know. I just go to confession, not even knowing what my sins are, guessing most of the time whether they are mortal or venial, babbling like a child, and feeling that I messed up either during or afterwards. It really makes my head hurt. uch:Literally ill. I’ve been to years of counseling and spiritual direction with only minimal improvement. I just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel right now.

Thanks for the prayers and support!

It sounds like you might need a spiritual director, one priest who you always confess to. He would be aware of your difficulties and able to tell you what was a sin and what wasn’t, and reassure you as to your absolution.

Try to find an orthodox, holy priest and ask him to hear your confessions. Then listen to him.

God Bless

 

[Convert_in_99]

It sounds like you might need a spiritual director, one priest who you always confess to. He would be aware of your difficulties and able to tell you what was a sin and what wasn’t, and reassure you as to your absolution.

Try to find an orthodox, holy priest and ask him to hear your confessions. Then listen to him.

God Bless

I had one, actually several. In my old diocese. My favorite died. The other got sent elsewhere. The other is in seminarian training now.

Anyways, I have since moved far away. In NON Catholic Bible belt. We are short on priests. I don’t trust any that personally. I mean, don’t get me wrong. They are good priests, just personality clashes.

I am very shy and dependent. Also, I have depression and anxiety. That throws most anyone off (save my darling hubby and family.)

I feel alone spiritually with no one to turn to. That’s why I am on CAF so much!

But, ideally a good spiritual director is what I need. May God lead me to him QUICKLY.

 

[bilop]

But, ideally a good spiritual director is what I need. May God lead me to him QUICKLY.

I’ll join in your prayer.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I’ll join in your prayer.

Thanks! God bless you for your kindness to me!

 

[bilop]

Thanks! God bless you for your kindness to me!

Thank you.

 

[Ramalama]

Convert, you have me worried. My wife and I just began our journey to Rome and, because of our newness, are unsure of most stuff.

We were discussing moral sins this last weekend and agreed that it must be very difficult to commit one. Your posts sound like it must be very easy. What am I not understanding?

 

[Convert_in_99]

Convert, you have me worried. My wife and I just began our journey to Rome and, because of our newness, are unsure of most stuff.

We were discussing moral sins this last weekend and agreed that it must be very difficult to commit one. Your posts sound like it must be very easy. What am I not understanding?

I am mentally off right now. DON’T pay attention to me! PLEASE!

Mortal sins ARE hard to commit. I have scrupulostity, meaning I think things are sin that are not really sins. It’s a mental illness.

The Catholic Church is AWESOME. I am a convert too, and it is the best decision I have ever made.

Confession is a very wonderful, peace giving sacrament.

People with depression have trouble seeing things on the bright side, I have depression.

Listen to eveyone else. It is truly a very fufiling, peace-giving, joyful, wonderful faith. Come and join us, you’ll be GLAD you did!

 

[Stylteralmaldo]

Convert, you have me worried. My wife and I just began our journey to Rome and, because of our newness, are unsure of most stuff.

We were discussing mortal sins this last weekend and agreed that it must be very difficult to commit one. Your posts sound like it must be very easy. What am I not understanding?

Mortal sin may be easier for some to commit than others. One thing is certain: we are all capable of committing them.

 

[Stylteralmaldo]

Mortal sins ARE hard to commit. I have scrupulostity, meaning I think things are sin that are not really sins. It’s a mental illness.

The Catholic Church is AWESOME. I am a convert too, and it is the best decision I have ever made.

Confession is a very wonderful, peace giving sacrament.

People with depression have trouble seeing things on the bright side, I have depression.

Listen to eveyone else. It is truly a very fufiling, peace-giving, joyful, wonderful faith. Come and join us, you’ll be GLAD you did!

You don’t need to be depressed to suffer from scrupulous behavior. I’m fairly chipper much of the time and also sometimes go a bit overboard with sinful tendencies as to whether I’ve crossed the line into mortal sin.

However, this is what a proper examination of conscience before partaking in the sacrament of confession is supposed to give us. If we have difficulty arriving at this due to over-scrupulous tendensies, a good spiritual adviser is the way to go.

God bless!

 

[Ramalama]

Thank you for the encouragement. I also have depression – I trust yours is being treated. God bless you.

 

[Convert_in_99]

Thank you for the encouragement. I also have depression – I trust yours is being treated. God bless you.

You are most welcome! The Catholic Faith is the way to go!

 

[otjm]

A couple of things to keep in mind:

1. God doesn’t play “gotcha!” He didn’t send His Son to die for us because He was just waiting to send us to hell. He wants, more than we can understand, to reconcile with us. That does not mean that there are no consequences for sin. It does mean that He loves us. Love is a bit more than just lurking around waiting to send us to hell.
2. The Sacrament of Reconcilliation is not a “get out of jail free” card; it is not a game that we are caught up in. It is about a child speaking to a loving parent, whom the child has offended by disobeying. Sin is an intentional choice to turn away from that parent, to do what we want instead of what He wants. And not every choice that we want is wrong; He not only allows us to choose, but gives us the freedom to choose, and many choices please Him.
3. The moral life is much more than just sin. Try focusing on what God wants, not so much on fear of what God doesn’t want. He wants us to love one another (which is very different than “liking” or being “in love”); he wants us to use our talents; he wants us to strive to perfection (as opposed to being perfect). He didn’t give us a whole lot of rules to live by; but keep in mind that the two greatest were to love Him, and love one another. Everything else flows out of that.

And whatever you do, get a priest confessor who understands your problems, if for no other reason than your sanity, and that of those around you. God bless!

 

[LilyM]

I am ultra shy and seemingly could never interrupt a priest.

With all due respect to priests, some of them are abrupt to the point of rudeness - so do learn how to politely interrupt. If you just say ‘excuse me, Father, I wasn’t quite done yet!’ or ‘excuse me, Father, I just remembered that I also did such-and-such’, that’s fine, nothing remotely impolite about it. Would you be upset if someone said that to you while you were speaking to them? I hope not!

As for sins I don’t know if I brought to confession or not, well, these were two years ago. I honestly don’t remember. My memory isn’t the greatest. I was reading a post on CAF and realized…gee…I did that too. I wonder if I went to confession over that…! Also I tend to pick at sins over and over again. Well…I wonder if I said this if that would change the sin. That kind of thing.

Firstly - if you can’t remember, then you don’t have to confess or reconfess. The only problem is* knowingly* withholding a mortal sin. By the way - do you use a written guide to examination of conscience? If you do, does it distinguish between mortal and venial sins? A lot of 'em don’t, and that can be very unhelpful.

Secondly - you’re confessing to God through the priest. The priest doesn’t have to understand everything perfectly, since God does. And no matter how you phrase your sins, priests won’t always perfectly understand what you mean. They’re human too, ya know!

Thirdly - pray pray pray to St Alphonsus Liguori, patron saint of the scrupulous.