Confession - what if you're sorry but don't want to change?

[dkmtw]

I became Catholic at 21 years of age and have only been to confession about 3 or 4 times in the last 19 years since then. I am feeling compelled to go this Good Friday, but I have a few concerns.

1. My husband and I decided on a vasectomy for him, which he had done last spring. I understand the church’s teaching on birth control, so I feel guilty, but not really sorry. And not sorry enough to talk him into a reversal. Do I confess this and how?
2. I have indulged way too much lately in food and drink. I do want to get both of these things under more control, but I don’t want to quit drinking entirely. I am afraid the priest will tell me to go to AA or something and then if I don’t want to, what will I do? Do I confess these overindulgences?
3. What if the priest counsels me, absolves me of my sins, and I choose not to take his counsel? Am I not allowed to receive communion until I choose to repent in the ways he suggested? Is that another sin to confess?

Thanks for your help.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

dkmtw

1. My husband and I decided on a vasectomy for him, which he had done last spring. I understand the church’s teaching on birth control, so I feel guilty, but not really sorry. And not sorry enough to talk him into a reversal. Do I confess this and how?

Talk to your priest about it. He’s not going to make your husband go through surgery to reverse the vasectomy. Also, it may not even be a mortal sin for you.

1. I have indulged way too much lately in food and drink. I do want to get both of these things under more control, but I don’t want to quit drinking entirely. I am afraid the priest will tell me to go to AA or something and then if I don’t want to, what will I do? Do I confess these overindulgences?

He’s not going to tell you to go to AA, nor will he tell you to stop drinking. He’ll tell you that getting drunk, isn’t good and can be sinful. Priest drink socially, BTW.

1. What if the priest counsels me, absolves me of my sins, and I choose not to take his counsel?

Well you’ll probably be back confessing the same sins you’ve confessed, in the future. The counsel he will give will be more in the line on what you can do to avoid sin.

Am I not allowed to receive communion until I choose to repent in the ways he suggested? Is that another sin to confess?

You only have to avoid communion if you are in a state of mortal sin. You haven’t expressed anything that says you’re in a state of mortal sin, but its really up to your confessor to help you with this.

In all, it sounds like God is calling you to faith. Go to the source, of faith, Jesus Christ. The rest will make sense afterward.

Feel free to PM me, if you need to.

God Bless
Jim

 

[dkmtw]

Jim,

Thank you so much. I have been afraid to go and also afraid to hear the answers to these questions as I didn’t want to get blasted, so I appreciate your kind response.

I’m still nervous and have appreciated the information on examination of conscience on this website, as well as the prayers since I’ve never memorized them.

Dana

 

[Sophomore]

The “what ifs?” are a real show stopper when it comes to confession. What a victory Satin obtains when he scares us out of the confessional.

I do not like to go to confession. I never have and I probably never will. Nobody likes swallowing bitter medicine, but we do it because it will make us better. Not all at once; sometimes we take medicine for years. We try, we fall, we try again.

Jesus knows what he’s doing - go to confession; talk to a priest. Some are better in the confessional than others; accept that up front. Be honest; be open to change even if you don’t want to change.

You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel when you don’t try to carry the load all by yourself.

Our prayers are with you!

 

[Eric_Hyom]

Greetings and peace be with you dkmtw;

Like the doctors, confession is a place to go when you have troubles; start of by praying and asking for help from God. Something within your conscience is urging you to go to confession tomorrow, maybe now is the time to respond.

I think priests are very understanding and encouraging, and once you have been you will feel a great weight has lifted. I doubt if there are many people who; once they have confessed their sins never repeat them. Confession can be a start to striving to change our ways, but life is a journey always one day at a time.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace.

Eric

 

[maryj]

Jim,

Thank you so much. I have been afraid to go and also afraid to hear the answers to these questions as I didn’t want to get blasted, so I appreciate your kind response.

I’m still nervous and have appreciated the information on examination of conscience on this website, as well as the prayers since I’ve never memorized them.

Dana

don’t wait for these questions to be answered when you are standing at the pearly gates. Oh how the devil wants us to stay out of that confessional. I stayed away for 25 years, never again. As a matter of fact I just left the confessional about a half hour ago. The whole of heaven is waiting, God is waiting, I imagine there is no such a happier and joyful times in heaven than when a sinner comes home.(think prodigal son) God Bless.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Dana,

when you examine your conscience, do so under the context of the two greatest commandments Jesus himself gave us.

“Love God with your whole heart, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

Inside these two commandments is where you will find God’s will for you and where you want to be.

God Bless
Jim