Confession: Would a priest ever say “you don’t need to confess that.”?

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Carmelite1983

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I get scrupulous with my confessions. I’ll even confess times when I say “gosh” or “jeez”.
There have been other things I’ve confessed that I thought were silly, and he usually just shrugs and says something like “well it’s good to get that off your chest.”
Would a priest ever tell someone they don’t have to confess something?
Are they allowed to tell someone that?
Has that happened to you?
 
Even if something is venial sin, it’s still a good practice to confess it. Sometimes, people just get used to going to confession and need to tell the priest something. That said, don’t stress out too much if you can’t get to confession for a sin that isn’t a mortal sin.
 
If you’re scrupulous, you need your priest to help you form your conscience. It’s appropriate for him to tell you that you are confessing things that are not sins so that you can start to tell the difference. Listen to him!

Just about the worst thing you can do is come to an anonymous forum like this and ask total strangers to second-guess your priest. It’s almost guaranteed that you will find some people who think he’s right and some who think he’s wrong. The thing is…he’s the one who was in the confessional with you, not any of us.
 
Oh I’m not second guessing my priest, he’s great.
I was just randomly wondering if a priest ever would or could tell someone something like that.

Thanks for the (name removed by moderator)ut!
 
Yes. And sometimes they are right and sometimes wrong. It sounds like you might have some scrupolocity issues. So I’d listen to him. I’ve had priests tell me things aren’t sins that my well formed conscience knew better than. And I’ve had priests tell me flat out that things aren’t sins that go directly against the Church. Bottom line. You really need to act on forming a logical healthy conscience. And if scrupulocity is part of your problem you may need help.
 
Yes, I have been told by a priest in Confession to not confess ( a particular sin ) anymore. So I don’t anymore.
But I may confess it in my personal prayer, in an Act of Contrition.
 
Yes. I’ve confessed something before and was told it wasn’t a sin due to my circumstances and there was no need to confess it. I’m still unsure personally but I try to do my best not to let it bother me.
 
Yes , often I must miss Mass because my wife , who has MS cannot always be left unattended
while I attend Mass. I always confess my spotty attendance and the priest always tells me my
first duty is to my wife. Please pray for us.
 
I’ve talked to friends who have confessed “being depressed,” and are told that this is not a sin, but a condition that might require a counselor or doctor.
 
Yes. A priest should inform someone when there is no sin—especially with the scrupulous. Plus, they need admission of actual sin to absolve. They can’t absolve someone for “catching a cold” because getting sick is not a sin. There needs to be “matter”.
 
Yes, a priest made a point of telling me a couple confessions ago that something I mentioned was not a sin and in other words I did not have to confess it.

I had confessed that I missed Sunday Mass because I had planned to go to a Mass in the evening, but I was just getting over a cold, fell asleep and woke up too late to go to the Mass. I felt bad and like I had been careless in not going to an earlier Mass or making sure I stayed awake, so I confessed it.

The priest said it wasn’t a sin because I hadn’t intended to miss Mass, it was accidental. He said that my feeling bad about it didn’t make it a sin.

By him saying that I also knew that I had to come up with some other things that were actually sins in order for him to give me absolution.
 
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I’m still finding sins from my distant past which I know are mortal, and I know I have never confessed before. My regular confessor has been very patient with me. He is the same one I made my general confession with. Two weeks ago, however, he suggested that I “look forward and not dwell on the past”. I take this as an indication that I must be getting tiresome. I’m not sure if he wants me to stop confessing my long past sins. I don’t go out of my way looking for them, but sometimes one pops up in my memory, and that triggers a cluster of similar, or related ones. I should have asked him, but I did not. Is it permissable for a priest to not want to hear old remembered sins after some point?

By the way, these are mainly sins that I would not, or could not ever, commit in my present state of life. My former life so to speak.
 
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He would probably rather you concern yourself with how you can improve in the spiritual life here and now.
I have the same issue with occasional long past sins popping up. I don’t get told anything by my confessors because I rarely go to the same one twice and almost none of them know me at all.
 
s.cono said:
Two weeks ago, however, he suggested that I “look forward and not dwell on the past”. I take this as an indication that I must be getting tiresome.
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I don’t think it’s a matter of being tiresome. As @Tis_Bearself said, he probably wants you to focus on the present rather than the past. Know that you have been forgiven for your previous sins and have become a new creation. So the question becomes how are you living now? What kind of disciple are you today?
 
Ehhh… I love confession, but here’s a story to consider…

I once went to confession on a Wednesday afternoon at a local shrine…
The shrine provided one Priest, who was from 3:30pm-4:30pm…
When confessions opened, the first person in line was a little old lady…
As she confessed, the line grew to about >10 people, including the lady’s husband…

Around 4:00 the husband - feeling a bit self-conscious - explained to us…
“That’s my wife in there… She doesn’t have any sins… She just (mention something or other)…”

Finally around 4:20 - after almost an hour - she came out of the confessional…
She looked everyone in line completely astounded…

I have no idea what she was saying, and it is none of my business,
but I have questioned the fairness of it to clergy… some of whom accused me of judging her…

It is up to the Priest who they wish to speak to, they told me…

But - still - when there are >10 people who have been waiting in line for almost an hour,
and the Priest dedicates 50 mins to 1 out of the 12 or so (including her)…
leaving <10 mins for the remaining >10 people… who may have had more serious concerns…?

Is that really fair?

I dont think I was being judgmental,
but I did drive 45 mins and wait another +45 mins in line with a bunch of other people
only to have 2 or 3 mins of confessional time in hopes of allowing everyone a chance…

Other Priests told me, “Make up a list. State it. Hear the Priest’s Spiritual Advice, get your penance, get the blessing. And go in peace.” And, so I do…

I place trust in the effectiveness of the sacrament, not myself…
 
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