Confession - yelled at

[Soldier_Of_God]

The problem with today’s society is that they take more from someone’s tone or manner of delivery than they do the message.

Yes, that does seem to be a common theme among interpersonal communication these days. Focus should be on the message primarily. With that said, I’m not sure priests should be yelling to make their point during reconcilation.

 

[Mrs_V]

While I don’t approve of yelling at all, I can say that the confessions where the priest was stern with me have stuck with me much more than those where they were perfectly gentle. I know that different people react to things differently. For me, a stern ‘talking to’ is what I need to get back on track more times than not.

 

[brotherjoe]

I was yelled at once in confession and it affected me so negatively that I stayed away for years. There are ways to admonish a person without treating them badly. If a person comes to confession he or she knows that a sin was committed and hopefully is truly sorry for it. The priest could speak to them to make sure the penitent knows the gravity of the sin, but no one should be yelled at. I don’t recall Jesus yelling at those he forgave. He simply said “Go and sin no more your sins are forgiven.” While some people might need a good admonishment, the priest does not know the temperament of the person confessing and getting yelled at could adversely affect them.

This is true. Abuse in the confessional leads to people abandoning their faith. You have the right to complain to the bishop’s office if you choose.

 

[CB_Catholic]

A couple of years ago a priest raised his voice and spoke to me harshly during Confession and I have no intention of going to him again. I am not a child, I am an intelligent adult in my 60’s and there was no reason to act like that. I am well aware of any sin I commit, that is why I confessed it.

Of course I forgave him, but I’m not going to subject myself to his temper again.

 

[Gabriel_Serafin]

So, I went to confession tonight. I went to a priest who I did not know. Well, he yelled at me. Sternly, and with a loud voice, he said you shouldn’t do that! I know he is right…I shouldn’t ever offend God with sin, but that was it. No other words of advice, nothing. Penance. Absolution, done.

So, I guess that is what God needed me to hear, and I do know that all my sin offends God…so maybe I needed that slap…I just haven’t had such an experience.

Thoughts?

’

St. Padre Pio was known for throwing people out of the confessional until they were serious about making a good confession. But maybe the priest you went to was having a bad day; priests have foibles as anybody else, so maybe you were the last straw that day

Maybe you should go back to him as a regular confessor, if indeed that incident shook you into realizing something you otherwise didn’t fully wrap your heart around, prior to that experience…

 

[Timothysis]

St. Padre Pio was known for throwing people out of the confessional until they were serious about making a good confession.

A priest once wrote the if he treated his parishioners the way Padre Pio treated some of his, then he would have nothing but trouble with the bishop.

My point is that Padre Pio is not a very good ruler with which to measure. I have had priests be “stern” with me, but I don’t know what I would do if one actually yelled at me with such an ugly attitude.

 

[Gabriel_Serafin]

My point is that Padre Pio is not a very good ruler with which to measure. I have had priests be “stern” with me, but I don’t know what I would do if one actually yelled at me with such an ugly attitude.

Agreed; Padre Pio had special gifts for discerning people’s hearts and people flocked to his confessional. But I think that getting yelled at in confession is a rarity; if it does happen, then maybe we should take it as humbly as possible, knowing that a sin worth getting yelled at for was a blessing from God for us to realize how damaging sin is to our soul and the body of Christ as a whole. We can also get a better idea of the real effects of our willful sins by gazing at a realistic crucifix. Sin is a terrible thing; it cost Our Lord His life. So if you get yelled at in confession, give the priest a break, and pray for him so that he may be more patient…

 

[SecretGarden]

Priests are human and some are more talented than others to deal with people. If you are uncomfortable with the way he reacted, I suggest that you report him to your diocese and next time you go to confession, try someone else. You could also make an appointment with him and explain that he made you uncomfortable and talk it out. If he knows that he made you uncomfortable he might change his ways.

 

[Gabriel_Serafin]

If you are uncomfortable with the way he reacted, I suggest that you report him to your diocese.

Instead I would suggest writing the priest a letter or even talking to him outside of confession. Contacting the bishop to tell him the priest was rude sounds rather petty and not rising to take time out of a bishop’s schedule…

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

Was it possible for other people to hear what Father said? Or even discern that he was yelling at you. If so, then he has breached the seal of the confessional.

I wouldn’t go back to him. If you hear of it happening to anyone else, and you have reason to believe that the seal has been breached, then (maybe) he should be reported to the bishop - I’m not sure what the best response is.

(Canon Law, 983 §1)

I agree. In addition, yelling at a penitent might (not always) but might greatly discourage a person from returning or being fully open and truthful at his/her next confession. And if the priest is to reflect the love of Christ for all sinners, I cannot see how yelling at the penitent would be helpful. This is not to say that a priest cannot be firm, even stern, but yelling? As stated above, what if someone overheard? I agree: that would break the seal of the confessional.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

This is true. Abuse in the confessional leads to people abandoning their faith. You have the right to complain to the bishop’s office if you choose.

But keep in mind the priest in question is unable to say anything as it happened under the Seal of Confession.

 

[Monica4316]

About St Padre Pio, yes he did this to help people have greater contrition, not out of anger. St John Vianney could read souls also, and I read a story about how he wept hearing a confession, and when the person asked why, St John Vianney said, “because you do not”. That helped the person repent more fully.

However, these are extraordinary priests who could read souls… and in other cases, they were very gentle with the people who came to Confession. It depends.

 

[SenorPaulito]

So, I went to confession tonight. I went to a priest who I did not know. Well, he yelled at me. Sternly, and with a loud voice, he said you shouldn’t do that! I know he is right…I shouldn’t ever offend God with sin, but that was it. No other words of advice, nothing. Penance. Absolution, done.

So, I guess that is what God needed me to hear, and I do know that all my sin offends God…so maybe I needed that slap…I just haven’t had such an experience.

Thoughts?

’

That’s horrible. Behavior like that is one thing that keeps Catholics away from the sacrament.

 

[SenorPaulito]

I’ll take Fr. Larry Richards’ advice on getting yelled at in the confessional: Get up and walk away.

Good advice. I’ve been to confession with Fr. Larry. He BURNS through it but doesn’t miss a thing. I felt like I needed a nap afterwards…