Confession

[aquickquestion]

Alright, this is a sincere question, and request for guidance.

To begin, a bit of background. I was baptized as a baby, but grew up in a religiously apathetic household. When asked, my parents would say their faith was Catholic, but we never attended church, never had prayer, or anything of that sort. About 3 years ago, I started in a relationship with a wonderful guy who grew up in a very strict Catholic household. While not as strict as his parents, he keeps his faith close to his heart, and I’ve begun educating myself on Catholicism because of him. It is wonderful and I’m happy to have found religion again.

But my problem is this: My boyfriend gave his body to another woman before meeting me, an act which he regrets, but accepts as the past. The thing is… I’m really still uncomfortable with it. We’ve discussed living together and eventually marriage, but before I choose to marry him, I want to ask him to formally confess this sin from his past to a priest.

Now I’ve never been in a confessional, and I doubt he has gone in years. I was first of all wondering, is this right of me to request of him? I mean, I don’t want to force him into confession, but I would not feel right marrying him if he doesn’t right the wrongs of his past, especially the issue of virginity and premarital sex which I feel really strongly about. Second… how should I go about bringing it up without sounding too demanding?

Thank you all.

 

[allhers]

Well, if he keeps his faith close to his heart, he probably already ought to have gone to confession for this, I would think. The other thing that perked my ears up was you saying that you are considering living together? You do know that wouldn’t be a good way to start a relationship don’t you? If you two plan on being “good” Catholics, you both ought to go to confession and not live together until Marriage.

 

[aquickquestion]

Well, if he keeps his faith close to his heart, he probably already ought to have gone to confession for this, I would think. The other thing that perked my ears up was you saying that you are considering living together? You do know that wouldn’t be a good way to start a relationship don’t you? If you two plan on being “good” Catholics, you both ought to go to confession and not live together until Marriage.

The living together would moreso be a financial convenience than anything, as two college students struggling to stay afloat. Plus, despite the fact that its frowned upon, I feel as though it is beneficial to get used to a loved one’s personal habits and whatnot before jumping into marriage.

 

[allhers]

The living together would moreso be a financial convenience than anything, as two college students struggling to stay afloat. Plus, despite the fact that its frowned upon, I feel as though it is beneficial to get used to a loved one’s personal habits and whatnot before jumping into marriage.

That is actually called the sin of scandal, but I don’t expect that I will make much of an impression on you anymore than I can on anyone else I know. I will keep you both in my prayers though. I realize that today some young people think that is a good idea, (and even some older people) but it still isn’t. Many are of the opinion that they are strong enough in their faith to not have pre-marital sex, and many also believe as you said, but in any case, it’s still not a good idea. I’ve been reading lately about St. Agustine and his mother St. Monica, she went to a Bishop about her errant son when he was in his pre-Catholic days and asked what she could do about him, she said that she had told her son over and over about all the terrible sinning that he was doing and how awful it was and what an offence to God it was and the good Bishop said, “Pray more to God about him than you say to your son about God.” I think that is great advice and I for one am going to take it.