confession

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Ok so I am 18 years old and finished an RCIA program last year and since I had not been baptized there was no need for me to go to confession. But now this year after talking with several influential adults in my life I know that I should go but having never done it I’m not sure what to do. I have read through many websites, articles, forums and talked to people but so I know the basic structure of confession but I can’t seem to get rid of the fear that takes hold whenever I think about going. Could someone just maybe explain what I have to do, maybe something that would help calm me down about it.
Thanks,
KLXC
 
You were brave in responding to the graces of conversion…it really isn’t more scary than that to go to confession. Your priest is human and has had his own human battles. He has also heard any number of sins and is not likely to be disturbed by anything you’ve done! I don’t know if you’d feel better if someone accompanied you to the church for morale…but if you simply state what you see to be your failings and sins, with the priest’s responses and guidance and God’s grace in the Sacrament, you can leave with an amazing light-heartedness afterward!
 
Congratulations on your baptism! Welcome to Christ’s Church!

Its pretty simple really. Prior to confession, you try to remember your sins. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. It also helps to know the Ten Commandments and the Seven Deadly sins. There are some good guides out there on the internet too, Google Fr. Altier and confession guide.

Then you figure out what time your parish has confession and you go. Typically there will be a room there dedicated to confessions where there is a kneeler next to a screen and a door behind you. Close the door, kneel on the kneeler. The priest can’t see you unless you choose the option of face to face confession.

The priest will say something like “In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Make the sign of the cross, give your Amen and say "Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been (1 year) since my baptism (or last confession, the second time around). Then tell him your sins, as in what they are and how many. No need to go into detail. When you are done, indicate so by saying “These are my sins” or “that is all”. Sometimes the priest will give you advice, sometimes he won’t. He will assign a penance, and it is typically pretty easy, a few short prayers.

Then he will ask you for your act of contrition. This is a prayer to God to express your sorrow for your sins. Sometimes the confessionals have one written on the kneeler, others do not. If you want, look one up, or just make one up. Then the priest will absolve you of your sins. That’s it! Don’t forget to thank the priest.

Hope that helps!

Andre
 
Some of us are fearful no matter how many times we’ve done it 🙂

I’m always nervous ahead of time, regardless of how minor my sins have been since my last confession. But the feeling you get when you walk out of the confessional is a wonderful thing. No fear can compare to the grace of God.
 
Thanks everyone,

I know that nothing I have done is that bad but it just makes me nervous to think about telling someone about it. Oh well, thanks you guys have been a big help, and I read through the confession guide by Fr. Altier that someone told me to google and it was very helpful!

KLXC
 
Wonderful!
Wishing you a grace-fulled and peaceful Confession!
 
KLXC said:
Ok so I am 18 years old and finished an RCIA program last year and since I had not been baptized there was no need for me to go to confession. But now this year after talking with several influential adults in my life I know that I should go but having never done it I’m not sure what to do. I have read through many websites, articles, forums and talked to people but so I know the basic structure of confession but I can’t seem to get rid of the fear that takes hold whenever I think about going. Could someone just maybe explain what I have to do, maybe something that would help calm me down about it.
Thanks,
KLXC
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I am 40+ years old; I go to confession once a month; I do not commit any sins that are even remotely “embarrassing” to discuss; yet I still have the fear and get a nervous stomach beforehand. Month after month after month. I guess that never really goes away. The only thing I can tell you for sure is that it is a silly fear. I’ve never had a negative experience. The priests are always happy you’re there, very welcoming and give wonderful advice. They are also extremely helpful, especially if it’s your first confession. They’ll walk you through it, so please don’t worry about not knowing what to do. Many Catholics who return to confession after 10, 20 + years don’t know what to do either, and there are plenty of them! They are there to grant absolution on behalf of Our Lord, and they are thrilled to do so!!
 
Since it is your first confession, I would start out by telling the priest that fact and I expect he will be happy to help you as you go through it. Having done that it is really difficult to mess it up. 🙂 🙂 🙂
 
RosaryFan said:
They are there to grant absolution on behalf of Our Lord, and they are thrilled to do so!!
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This is so true and is worth remembering.

Also know this - with reconciliation comes GREAT joy. Not just a good feeling, or happiness, but top-of-the-line spiritual joy.
 
Once agan… thanks so much! you guys really helped. I just have one more question. I am a freshman at a Catholic university and I was wondering if you think I should just go to a priest here that I don’t really know (therefore do not have anything to worry about, because I most likely won’t see him again) or do you think that it would be best if I went to confession with the priest I used to go to mass with at home every Sunday?

KLXC
 
KLXC said:
Once agan… thanks so much! you guys really helped. I just have one more question. I am a freshman at a Catholic university and I was wondering if you think I should just go to a priest here that I don’t really know (therefore do not have anything to worry about, because I most likely won’t see him again) or do you think that it would be best if I went to confession with the priest I used to go to mass with at home every Sunday?

KLXC
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Either is fine.

I suggest remembering this - the priest is there to help you. You are going to confession for forgiveness and absolution, not punishment. What you experience there is relief and joy!

Be not afraid. This is why Christ came to this earth.
 
KLXC said:
Once agan… thanks so much! you guys really helped. I just have one more question. I am a freshman at a Catholic university and I was wondering if you think I should just go to a priest here that I don’t really know (therefore do not have anything to worry about, because I most likely won’t see him again) or do you think that it would be best if I went to confession with the priest I used to go to mass with at home every Sunday?

KLXC
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Whichever makes you more comfortable. Some people have a specific priest that they go to, and some prefer “strangers”. It’s a matter of personal preference. Just remember, they are all there as Christ’s representative, so the words of absolution are coming from Christ Himself (through the vocal chords of the priest), so whether he’s a stranger or a friend, it’s all the same in the end. Good luck! 😃
 
KLXC,

Going to confession frequently has changed my life completely. Don’t think of it as confessing your sins to a man, but instead you are talking directly to Christ. The priest is just standing in for Him. I go every two weeks now and the grace that I receive truly makes a difference in how I live my life. It’s become much easier to avoid certain habitual sins. I’ll keep you in my prayers!

God Bless,
Gary
 
Being 18 myself, I know how nerve-wrecking it can be to go. I’ve been trying to go at least once a month now since I’ve recently come back to actually practicing my faith. To be honest, I had A LOT of embarrassing sins to confess. It’s more difficult to get yourself to go than it is when you’re actually doing it. Every time, no matter how many times I’ve gone or told a priest a particular sin, I always break down into tears. Though, that’s just me (uber-emotional xD lol). I’m sure you won’t feel the need to because I’m sure that you don’t have anything that bad to confess. ;D But if you do, don’t feel embarrassed. The priest understands! Sometimes it’s the best place to cry if you really need to since no one else aside from the priest and you know you are breaking down. And don’t worry about being specific. To be honest, the priest doesn’t want to know the details…usually. But if they ask for clarification, it’s not because they are being nosy, they just want to know the gravity of the sins and any circumstances specific to you which would make it either more or less severe. Also, if you are afraid of forgetting sins, making a list can be helpful, but destroy it right after to keep your sins secret. Though, even still I’ve forgotten sins that were on my list simply from losing my place. But if you forget sins, don’t worry about it. Just say after you’ve confessed all your sins that you want forgiveness for all the sins you have forgotten. As long as you didn’t omit a sin on purpose, there is no need to repeat all of them again. Once you remember a sin, just ask forgiveness on your own and confess it the next time you go. The first few times, you might feel bad after leaving because I’ve found that the time I remember the sins I forgot the most is right after I leave the confessional or in the hour or so after. At least, that’s been my experience. But, I’m trying to learn to get over it, and I’m sure you will much quicker than I will. 😃

Also, whether or not you go to a priest you know or don’t know is a matter of preference. I go to whichever priest is available at my parish. Sometimes I go where I can see the priest and sometimes I go behind the veil. Either doesn’t really make a difference to me. Though, it would be nice to go to a priest you know and have confessed to often because they will recognize you(or your voice if you go behind the veil) and they will be able to help you on your own spiritual journey.

If any of this sounds discouraging, I apologize. It was not my intention (I have a habit of discouraging people on accident. I really need to word things better. lol). I just thought it would be nice to get a perspective from someone your own age. I hope you’ll find comfort and peace during and after your confession. It is truly a wonderful thing to be a Catholic and have the opportunity to confess our sins and hear that we have been forgiven.

God Bless!
~ Christina <3
 
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