Confession

[livi]

Can anyone give me advice about going to Confession? I’ve been trying to go, but I’ve been getting nervous and not finishing. I’ve ended up just leaving for times. And I take too long.

 

[Pug]

Can anyone give me advice about going to Confession? I’ve been trying to go, but I’ve been getting nervous and not finishing. I’ve ended up just leaving for times. And I take too long.

Hi livi,

Maybe you are feeling nervous, so you take awhile, and then since you are taking what you perceive to be too long, you leave. The way to fix that might be to make an appointment for confession instead of going at the posted time. That way there will not be a line at all, so you won’t have to worry about the people in the line waiting. There won’t be anyone waiting.

To make an appointment, you need to either call your parish office or speak to the priest himself.

If part of your fear is of enclosed spaces, you could request confession in a different environment from the confessional box, if it is too small for you. Explain to the priest about that when you make the appointment, if that is the issue.

Or, is there something else that is making it especially scary for you?

 

[PJM]

=livi;5328493]Can anyone give me advice about going to Confession? I’ve been trying to go, but I’ve been getting nervous and not finishing. I’ve ended up just leaving for times. And I take too long.

The good news friend is that God is on your side:thumbsup:

Two suggestions: If you can deal with a “face to face” confession, knowing that the priest has taken a solemn vow of secrecy; if threatened with death, he cannot share what you have discussed.

Also there are no new sins!

So I’d suggest you make an appointment with your priest, and just discuss what is on your mind and heart.

If this isn’t for you, when you go into the confessional began by telling the priest that you’re very nervous. He’ll help you from that point.

Ask the Holy Spirit for courage and wisdom, and count on His help.

Love and prayers,

 

[michaeldaniels]

Keep in mind that the Priest is “in persona Christi”…never be afraid of being embarrassed or being chastised by the Priest…YOU ARE confessing your sins directly to God…you are not telling him something He does not already know…above all, have faith and hope in God’s infinite goodness and Divine Mercy…make the best confession you can make according to your conscience…have a hatred for sin…a firm purpose of amendment…and true sorrow…you can not go wrong if you have all of those things…trust in Christ.

Can anyone give me advice about going to Confession? I’ve been trying to go, but I’ve been getting nervous and not finishing. I’ve ended up just leaving for times. And I take too long.

 

[DebChris]

Most of us, cradle Catholics included, become at least a little nervous while waiting in line for confession.
Tell the priest how nervous you are. He will understand. Priests confess their own sins to other priests.
Some people ask why not just confess to God alone. If we are nervous when we confess in front of a mere mortal, how much more nervous will we be when we come face to face with God?
Don’t worry about how long the confession takes. If you have a large number of sins, or if you are concerned about how grievous a particular sin is (especially if this is what is making your nervous), then by all means make an appointment with the priest.
Many times I do go to a different parish than my own. I am active in my parish and have a close relationship with the pastor. I know that what I say in the confessional stays in the confessional. It is more a matter of making a better confession with a different priest. There have been periods of time when I have had “my own confessor.” This is not in the sense of the saints having their own confessor. It is more a matter of choosing to go confession with a particular priest with whom I am comfortable.
Again, mention your nervousness as you begin your confession and ask the priest to help guide you. That is one of the reasons he is there. I hope this helps.

 

[catholicboy2]

Hey buddy I went through the same thing, but the good thing is that the priest will understand your sins and NOT contradict you. I felt the same thing you did, but the worse thing that could happen is that you aren’t sorry for your sins, which i’m sure you are.
if you’re afraid that the priest will reveal your sins to others or that your afraid someone will find out, the priest isn’t allowed to tell unless he wants to be excommunicated from the Catholic Church, which i dont think anyone does. even if the police ask a priest if a suspected murderer confessed a sin of murder, the priest wouldn’t be able to tell them.
the priest will understand that you are nervous and are ashamed of doing sin.
the priest may ask you some questions about one of your sins or tell you something, you should answer and listen to him respectfully. A priest that visited the school i used to go to told my class that if the priest is making you fell uncomfortable, then you see another priest.
Hope i helped you some!!!:thumbsup:

 

[Nick_in_MB]

Can anyone give me advice about going to Confession? I’ve been trying to go, but I’ve been getting nervous and not finishing. I’ve ended up just leaving for times. And I take too long.

Some advice - just try to be calm. Sounds easy, that’s why I said try.
I get nervous every time. I’m ashamed, embarrassed, I don’t want to talk about these things. But for me, there’s a sense of comfort when the guy in front of me says “Man, I’m nervous,” and I realize that some of these people in line, if not all, are all like me, nervous.

 

[livi]

Thanks everyone, I’ve gotten a lot of helpful advice!

 

[phoenix3212]

Thanks everyone, I’ve gotten a lot of helpful advice!

Can I just say one more thing? Just go. Whether you’re nervous or whatever, line up for confession and force yourself to go in the room. When I went into the confessional this morning, I was so anxious and I basically thought to myself “it’s now or never.” You have to make yourself go to confession; it’s an exercise in self-discipline.

 

[DebChris]

Dietrich Boenhoeffer was a Lutheran who died for his faith under Adolph Hitler. In his book, The Cost of Discipleship he quotes Martin Luther when it come to the importance of going to confession. Confession is a remedy against pride and self-deception.
When we make use of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, when we confess to another, we nail our sinful self to the cross. We die to self.
If we are embarrassed and afraid to confess our sins in front of another human, consider how much more terrified we will be when we come before the throne of grace, before Him to whom nothing is hidden.
As others have already stated, the priest acts “in personna” of Christ. When we confess it truly to Christ to whom we make our confession. The priest presents the human face. From the priest, we physically hear the words of forgiveness and absolution. It is God who forgives through the priest.
Sure, I could go into my room and say “I am sorry for my sins.” One of the things the priest does is provide guidance. It is not enough to say I confess my sins if I immediately fall back into the same pattern. The priest prays for guidance from the Holy Spirit and provides the words that may help keep me from falling back into the same type of sin.

“Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. as the Father has sent me, so I send you.’ And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, 'Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.”" (John 20: 21)

 

[JohnPaul64]

My advice is when you go, keep going afterward. Try to make it every two weeks.

 

[puzzleannie]

for now, pray about the reasons why you feel this nervousness, and quite likely the answer will come in a way that lets you deal with the real reason–that may have nothing to do with your sins or the actual sacrament, but stem from other causes. and end every prayer with a sincere act of contrition. Pray before a crucifix and meditate on the very hard thing Jesus endured for love of us and to take away our sins. The love this arouses in your heart will do more than anything else to prepare you for confession.

If it is a matter of your comfort level, try calling any priest for an appointment. This takes away the stress of waiting in line, of feeling unprepared, and any stress induced by the actual location and may make it easier on you.

If you think, after praying about it, that part of your reluctance is unwillingness to give up something in your life that is hindering your spiritual growth, you might also bring that to priest in an appointment outside confession and take his advice, and that might also help you prepare for actual confession.

Such feelings usually do not arise without a good reason (at least our unconscious mind thinks it has a good reason) and you will go a long way by discovering the source of those feelings of anxiety, fear, reluctance, whatever they are. Above all, pray every day and don’t stop praying. You will get there eventually, and the unbelievable mercy and love of the sacrament will take you the rest of the way.

 

[Nick_in_MB]

My advice is when you go, keep going afterward. Try to make it every two weeks.

Great advice. I know the more I go, the less nervous I am. I still get nervous, but not as much. And I can tell I’m gaining a deeper appreciation for this sacrament, and I can only think that it’s because I go often.

Now you can go directly to the confessional booth and confess your sins to a fellow man. Or you can follow God in His Holy Word and go directly to Him alone, in private

Well, that’s neither here nor there right now, since we as Catholics don’t believe we are confessing to a man, but to God himself, since the priest is In Persona Christi. It isn’t the priest granting absolution, but God through the ministry of the Church.

 

[DebChris]

for now, pray about the reasons why you feel this nervousness, and quite likely the answer will come in a way that lets you deal with the real reason–that may have nothing to do with your sins or the actual sacrament, but stem from other causes. and end every prayer with a sincere act of contrition. Pray before a crucifix and meditate on the very hard thing Jesus endured for love of us and to take away our sins. The love this arouses in your heart will do more than anything else to prepare you for confession.

If it is a matter of your comfort level, try calling any priest for an appointment. This takes away the stress of waiting in line, of feeling unprepared, and any stress induced by the actual location and may make it easier on you.

If you think, after praying about it, that part of your reluctance is unwillingness to give up something in your life that is hindering your spiritual growth, you might also bring that to priest in an appointment outside confession and take his advice, and that might also help you prepare for actual confession.

Such feelings usually do not arise without a good reason (at least our unconscious mind thinks it has a good reason) and you will go a long way by discovering the source of those feelings of anxiety, fear, reluctance, whatever they are. Above all, pray every day and don’t stop praying. You will get there eventually, and the unbelievable mercy and love of the sacrament will take you the rest of the way.

This is good practical advice. Many people end the day with an examination of conscience. Of course, I have also heard the recommendation of an examination of consciousness instead. Sometimes we become overburdened with guilt and overlook the healing grace that restores to us wholeness or the many blessing we received throughout the day.
One of the differences between cheap grace and costly grace, as described by Dietrich Boenhoeffer, lies in recognizing the price that Christ paid for our salvation and the response to which we are called…

Great advice. I know the more I go, the less nervous I am. I still get nervous, but not as much. And I can tell I’m gaining a deeper appreciation for this sacrament, and I can only think that it’s because I go often.

The recommendation I have received is once a month. Going too often can lead to scruples for some people.
With frequent, once a month confession, you are unlikely to fall into mortal sin. One recommendation is to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation on the first Saturday of the month. This type of frequent confession is called devotional confession.

Well, that’s neither here nor there right now, since we as Catholics don’t believe we are confessing to a man, but to God himself, since the priest is In Persona Christi. It isn’t the priest granting absolution, but God through the ministry of the Church.

This has been stated several times throughout this thread. It is good that you reiterated the point.

 

[Nick_in_MB]

The recommendation I have received is once a month. Going too often can lead to scruples for some people.
With frequent, once a month confession, you are unlikely to fall into mortal sin. One recommendation is to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation on the first Saturday of the month. This type of frequent confession is called devotional confession.

I’ve gotten that recommendation too. But when I know I’ve committed a mortal sin, , I find myself saying “It’s been 1 week since my last confession.”

This has been stated several times throughout this thread. It is good that you reiterated the point.

Yeah, I know it has. But I’d hate to see somebody who’s nervous to be misguided and say “oh, this way is much easier.”
Indeed it is. It’s what was in my mind while I was away from the Church. But in my opinion, that’s the point, for confession to not be that easy. I mean, it is easy, but there’s also a dose of humility too.

 

[DebChris]

I’ve gotten that recommendation too. But when I know I’ve committed a mortal sin, , I find myself saying “It’s been 1 week since my last confession.”

Of course, if we commit a mortal sin, we don’t want to wait.
On a day of renewal, the priest heading the retreat made the point that for those of us who frequent the Sacrament of Reconciliation, it is unlikely that we would commit a mortal sin. That doesn’t mean we never do. It is simply with the Holy Spirit working in our life through the Sacraments of the Eucharist and Reconciliation we are less likely to intentionally offend God through sin.
“The righteous man sin seven times a day.” We still need forgiveness for unintentional sin.

Yeah, I know it has. But I’d hate to see somebody who’s nervous to be misguided and say “oh, this way is much easier.”
Indeed it is. It’s what was in my mind while I was away from the Church. But in my opinion, that’s the point, for confession to not be that easy. I mean, it is easy, but there’s also a dose of humility too.

We are called to humility, to develop the attitude of a servant. We are called to die to self, and that is not an easy thing. Neither would I want a person to be misguided, which is why I referenced Dietrich Boenhoeffer. We can deceive ourselves with the “much easier way” of simply asking God, in the privacy of our own room, to forgive our sins.
I have even seen this type of “cheap grace” expounded on TV. The preacher was telling his congregation how they could get a better job, or be in a better financial situation. He told them all they needed to do was ask forgiveness afterward. My immediate reaction was “You just told your parishioners to sin.” We need to be aware of anything that cheapens God’s grace.
It is not easy to admit fault. If we take that first step in personal relationships, we help to mend any way that we may have damaged it. Is that relationship healed simply by saying “God forgive me”?
When we sin, we hurt the Body of Christ. We hurt one another.When we make use of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we not only repair our relationship with God through His grace, we also repair the breach in our relationship with one another. We are reconciled to the Church, the Body of Christ, to which we belong.

I wss saved when Christ died on the cross for my sins. I continue to be saved each and every time the Mass is celebrated any where in the world until the end of time.

 

[livi]

I’m not sure I should make a habit of going to Confession once a week no matter what as I have been known to suffer from scrupulosity. I worry that doing that may lead to problems. I’m going to try to go to Confession again on Saturday, hopefully I do better than I have been.

 

[LilyM]

I’ve gotten that recommendation too. But when I know I’ve committed a mortal sin, , I find myself saying “It’s been 1 week since my last confession.”

Uhh … on a very few occasions, sad to say, I’ve had to utter the words ‘my last confession was yesterday …’

Been quite a while since that last happened, though, thank the good Lord.