Confession

[wondering1979]

This summer I went to my brothers wedding, which was not in the Catholic Church. He had been away for about 7-8 years. He left because of the poor example of people in my family who did not practice what they preach. Which left him with a poor impression of the Church, and also he was never well instructed in the faith.

I debated for a long time about whether or not to go. Although in the back of my head I knew that I would probably go because I didn’t think I would have enough courage to deal with my family if I didn’t attend. I read on Catholic Answers, that one is not expressly forbidden to attend an invalid wedding and that one had to use their judgment based on the situation. I meant to ask a priest at church but I chickened out. In the end I went, but I was not in the bridal party and I didn’t give a gift or a card of congratulations. I let my brother know that I came because I didn’t want to ruin or relationship not because I thought what he was doing was right. I told what the Church taught about his situation.

I did confess going to the wedding, not because I was sure I had done the wrong thing, but because I thought it was better safe than sorry. At the time I didn’t confess that I had been debating about going for months, and that I had been pretty sure that I would end up going no matter what, because of my lack of courage. I thought I was being too hard on myself, but now I feel I should have confessed it. It has been bothering me. Was I in sin in the time before my brothers wedding when I was struggling with what to do? Is it a sin to know you are probably going to do the wrong thing because of your weakness? Was it a sin to go to his wedding in the first place? Did I make a bad confession?

 

[tbcrawford]

Hello you poor thing having carried all this worry around with you.
I would just say that to put your mind at rest make an appointment to go and speak to your priest and tell him how you are feeling, the position you were in and he will advise you.

Regarding attending the wedding it is your individual choice,personally I think you did the right thing,others may tell you you shouldn’t have gone.Your brother is your brother and if you did not attend his wedding he would not have understood the reasons and become even more hard hearted toward the Catholic Church.Be a good example in your brothers life of love.Be a witness to faith of God by living your life in a non judgemental way by caring acts of goodwill prayer and your brother will eventually see your example and with your prayers he will eventually be moved by your faith to turn back to God.

Regarding confession/reconciliation speak with your priest in a planned praivate appointment when he has time to talk with you properly.You will be pleasantly surprised at how supportive he will be.
God bless

 

[musicality]

In the end I went, but I was not in the bridal party and I didn’t give a gift or a card of congratulations. I let my brother know that I came because I didn’t want to ruin or relationship not because I thought what he was doing was right. I told what the Church taught about his situation.

I think you did the best possible thing–instead of using your absence as a sign of “I don’t approve of this” you went and told him what you thought and you were there for him.

I do not think that you sinned at all.