Hi and welcome to CAF! I hope you enjoy your time here on the forums! Hopefully, I can help answer some of your questions.
Even with a screen, it makes me feel awkward and embarrassed, and I really don’t feel forgiven or any closer to God.
One thing I’d note here: Confession isn’t really about
feeling anything. There are many times when a friend has forgiven me for something, but I didn’t really feel forgiven. Thankfully, I still am forgiven whether or not I feel it. Same with God, even if you do not feel forgiven you still are forgiven. Sometimes He deliberately allows us to not feel forgiven to see if we will still love Him and seek Him in confession regardless of the feelings.
Same thing with the awkward and embarrassed feelings. It’s easy to do things if they make us feel good, it’s harder to do things that make us feel awkward and embarrassed. But if we truly love someone, we will do it regardless. This could be God giving you an opportunity to grow in holiness by willingly choosing to go to Confession regularly, despite the uncomfortable feelings.
Is it required that we go to Confession to repent and for our sins to be forgiven?
In short, yes. Remember, the first thing Jesus did after He rose from the dead was institute the sacrament of Confession. He didn’t waste any time. The second man was redeemed He gave the Apostles the power to forgive sins so that they could immediately go out and start reconciling people to God.
Why can we not pray to God and confess our sins to Him directly, rather than through a priest? Or is a priest representing God during Confession?
To answer your second question first, yes the priest is what we call “another Christ” he represents Christ during the sacraments.
That should help you understand the answer to your first question. In reality, going to confession IS directly confessing your sins to God. It is the MOST direct way we can ask God for forgiveness and reconcile ourselves to Him, because the priest represents Christ.
Is it impossible to go to Heaven if one does not attend Confession for sins to be forgiven?
To be honest, we don’t really know. I have a tough time believing that someone who lived on some remote island somewhere and never even heard of confession would be damned to Hell for not going to confession. However, all we know for certain is that they are left up to the mercy of God.
As a final note, the church isn’t teaching that God ignores anyone who asks for forgiveness outside of Confession. Only that confession is the only sure way to know you are forgiven. Jesus instituted the sacrament of confession and that’s how He wants us to reconcile ourselves to the Father. So rejoice! God has given you an amazing gift, and know that every time you step out of the confessional (regardless of whether or not you feel it) you are saint! Completely forgiven of all your past sins, and made new in the eyes of God!
Thank you for any guidance that can be offered.
You’re welcome! I hope I helped!