Confession

[a83192]

I know of someone that goes to Confession from priest to priest every few weeks confessing his habit of Masturbation. He does it because he does not want his parents to know about it because they would get suspicious because he would skip communion since he was in sin.

He goes on a rotation of Churches and increasingly farther Parishes to Confession to priests to whom he has not confessed to ever or in a long time.

The last time he went to Confession the priest told him that he should stay with one confessor. He did not tell this priest that he was going to different churches. I guess the priest figured out his game by the frequency of the confessions and the large number of masturbations when told how much time since last confession.

Now the person is sobered up because of that.

What should I do and what should he do?

 

[puzzleannie]

I What should I do and what should he do?

you should stay out of it and forget you ever heard any of this. If you hear about another person’s confession you treat it with the same confidentiality as the priest would. you act as if you have no knowledge of any of this.

he does whatever the priest tells him to do, and hopefully stops discussion his confession with third parties.

 

[timeandeternity]

Is this person a friend of yours? If so, you might think about planning a time to talk with him about this–provided, of course, that talking with him would not make the problem even worse. It seems that he is not clear that confession is only valid if you are truly sorry for your mortal sins and intend never to commit them again, so if you do talk to him, it would be a good idea to explain this. You could also give him an examination of conscience with a list of mortal sins, and any other literature that would help him form his conscience better.
If you don’t know this person well, it most likely would not be prudent to speak directly with him. If you are friends with someone who is close to him, perhaps you could speak to them about this and ask them to talk to him–again, provided this will not make things worse.
If masturbation is a real addiction for him, he will need to have one trusted, orthodox priest that will be able to get a good grasp on his situation and help him to overcome this addiction.
It would also be wise for you to talk to a trusted priest about this–if possible, one who knows the person in question. Don’t decide to do anything based on your own judgement or the judgement of people on a forum who are not familiar this with this person and this situation.
Most importantly, pray! Prayer truly has miraculous effects–change may not be evident right away, but it will happen!

 

[timeandeternity]

I apologize–only the first part of a83192’s post showed up before I replied. Please disregard what I said (except for the part about praying!).

 

[smichhertz]

I know of someone that goes to Confession from priest to priest every few weeks confessing his habit of Masturbation. He does it because he does not want his parents to know about it because they would get suspicious because he would skip communion since he was in sin.

Hi a83192!

I’m confused and need some clarification. Why would he need to go to different priests to keep his parents from finding out? The seal of confession prevents any priest from talking to his parents!

Also, I assume you know of this because your friend confided in you, yes? Not because you just happened to overhear, or connect dots on your own. Do I have that right?

Finally, I can say that as a general rule of thumb it is better to have a single confessor. I often times go to confession to many priests simply because of convenience, but every month I recount ALL my sins to my spiritual director (even the ones already confessed) so that there is still a single confessor that is ultimately guiding me in my spiritual journey.

I will say a prayer for your friend.

 

[a83192]

Hi a83192!

I’m confused and need some clarification. Why would he need to go to different priests to keep his parents from finding out? The seal of confession prevents any priest from talking to his parents!

Also, I assume you know of this because your friend confided in you, yes? Not because you just happened to overhear, or connect dots on your own. Do I have that right?

Finally, I can say that as a general rule of thumb it is better to have a single confessor. I often times go to confession to many priests simply because of convenience, but every month I recount ALL my sins to my spiritual director (even the ones already confessed) so that there is still a single confessor that is ultimately guiding me in my spiritual journey.

I will say a prayer for your friend.

He is embarassed to tell the priest the same things to too familiar ones.

 

[smichhertz]

He is embarassed to tell the priest the same things to too familiar ones.

That I can certainly understand. Just this past week I had to go to my spiritual director with my tail between my legs. I committed some pretty bad sins, and I knew better.

All I can say is he needs to learn to face the music. It’s good that he is embarrassed, as it shows his conscience isn’t dead. Guilt isn’t always a bad thing, it is good as long as it is correctly ordered. Guilt can drive us away from doing things we know we shouldn’t do. There have been many times where I was tempted to sin, but didn’t solely because I didn’t want to have to tell my spiritual director what I did.

Besides, I think he’ll discover that priests aren’t as judgmental as he suspects. They are there to help him, not judge!