Confession

[riley520]

I’m sorry if this thread is repetitive, but I’m having a tough time of it right now. I have not been to confession since I probably made my confirmation (I’m 44 so that should tell you how long it’s been). My DH and I have recently “returned” to the church after going off and on for quite some time. We are looking to have our marriage convalidated sometime this year and I know that we will definitely need to go to confession before this happens.

I personally have a few things that I need to confess that I am very embarrassed and ashamed of, which is why I have been holding back from going. I have settled in nicely with our new parish, made lots of friends and developed a great relationship with our pastor. I guess what I’m trying to get around to saying is that I cannot bring myself to go to confession with our pastor. I know that most priests have heard it all and that’s not really what makes me nervous. I’m more bothered by the fact that he may see me differently after I make that confession. I don’t wish him to think badly of me. We also have a parochial vicar at our church, but I don’t know that I could go to him as well.

Would it just be easier for me to find a random church and go there for confession? I do not wish to bring up the convalidation with our pastor until I have gone to confession. Sorry if this is all very silly, but it’s definitely stressing me out.

 

[felsguy]

Not silly at all and certainly understandable. It would be perfectly acceptable to go to another parish for confession and from what you have said, it probably would be the better thing. Your pastor has heard it all and he shouldn’t see you any differently but confessing to some other priest will eliminate your anxiety about this.

Praying for you as continue towards being fully “returned.”

 

[phil19034]

As the previous poster mentioned, try going to Confession at another parish and behind the screen until you feel more comfortable at Confession.

I had once gone over 20 years without Confession and cried during my first one back. It was a uplifting experience. I now try to make it Confession at least once a month. I find that it helps me to avoid mortal sin and lifts my spirit.

God Bless and welcome back to the Church.

 

[Bookcat]

Contact Catholic Answers Apologists via the Apologist line. Or contact your Pastor. Your invalid marriage has bearing on when one may return to the Sacraments. It is possible -but there is more to go over first (and yes the Priest will need to know fo the invalid marriage)…before returning to confession. Best to go through such in person or “live” (off the air). But rejoice and keep praying and know that Jesus loves you. Please make that contact so you can go sooner than later.

DO NOT worry about how the Priest may see you…he hears countless confessions and rejoice in yours~! He has heard far worse.

Please go see your Priest…your shepherd… Tell him about the invalid marriage etc…and get things sorted out.

And when you do return to Confession after bringing that matter up and doing whatever is needful:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=12095777&postcount=12

 

[BeingSaved]

I’m sorry if this thread is repetitive, but I’m having a tough time of it right now. I have not been to confession since I probably made my confirmation (I’m 44 so that should tell you how long it’s been). My DH and I have recently “returned” to the church after going off and on for quite some time. We are looking to have our marriage convalidated sometime this year and I know that we will definitely need to go to confession before this happens.

I personally have a few things that I need to confess that I am very embarrassed and ashamed of, which is why I have been holding back from going. I have settled in nicely with our new parish, made lots of friends and developed a great relationship with our pastor. I guess what I’m trying to get around to saying is that I cannot bring myself to go to confession with our pastor. I know that most priests have heard it all and that’s not really what makes me nervous. I’m more bothered by the fact that he may see me differently after I make that confession. I don’t wish him to think badly of me. We also have a parochial vicar at our church, but I don’t know that I could go to him as well.

Would it just be easier for me to find a random church and go there for confession? I do not wish to bring up the convalidation with our pastor until I have gone to confession. Sorry if this is all very silly, but it’s definitely stressing me out.

As a P., thinking of if I could go to confession, I felt same as you, if I would need to confess everything from as far back as I could remember,…it would be a list,.and what men don’t always see and understand is that women confessing to a man, is diff. than a man confessing to a man. I think it could take getting used to, so I was thinking the same
of going, (to another town?) or at least to another church, with my list,…although you would miss the comfort you could have from someone you knew better, it would feel better,
no embarrassment.

 

[Bookcat]

Contact your Pastor. Your marriage not being valid has bearing on when one may return to the Sacraments. It is possible -but there is more to go over first (and yes the Priest will need to know the marriage was not valid)…before returning to confession (or go talk with the other Priest there). But rejoice and keep praying and know that Jesus loves you. Please make that contact so you can go sooner than later.

DO NOT worry about how the Priest may see you…he hears countless confessions and rejoice in yours~! He has heard far worse.

Please go see your Priest…your shepherd… Tell him about the marriage not being valid etc…and get things sorted out. Do not wait!

And when you do return to Confession after bringing that matter up and doing whatever is needful:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showpost.php?p=12095777&postcount=12

 

[riley520]

Thank you everyone for for your responses. The sad part is, I really would love to able to tell my Pastor all this. My DH and I adore him and are very comfortable with him, but I guess that’s why I am apprehensive about it. I think I ran my confession over in my head this morning before I got up and I was all ready to go. Except I had nowhere to go!

I am looking forward to making things right, getting a clean slate if you will. And I’m looking very much forward to having our marriage valid in the eyes of the church.

 

[Bookcat]

Thank you everyone for for your responses. The sad part is, I really would love to able to tell my Pastor all this. My DH and I adore him and are very comfortable with him, but I guess that’s why I am apprehensive about it. I think I ran my confession over in my head this morning before I got up and I was all ready to go. Except I had nowhere to go!

I am looking forward to making things right, getting a clean slate if you will. And I’m looking very much forward to having our marriage valid in the eyes of the church.

Look he is your Pastor. This is part of what he is to know and to help you remedy -so you can be married validly and return to the Sacraments and rejoice .

Do not delay. Have courage and go see him – as I noted the marriage being not valid is part of this.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=817886&highlight=in+valid+marriage+confession

(there is even a possibility where one -while avoiding scandal etc --recognize’s that they are not yet married validly and thus live as brother and sister and continue to care for their children as mom and dad of course - can return to the Sacraments sooner --the Priest can guide you and discuss this possibility. It may be that one may have to receive them elsewhere to avoid scandal)