confession

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Barbj

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I just went to confession, I do not go very often Not that I am not a sinner because I am. After I go to confession I feel so bad… not relief from being forgiven but terrible that I have told someone how I really feel about things in my life anyone else feel that way?I know that I need to change how I feel about confession but how?
 
Realize this, while you were walking out of the confessional a HUGE celebration with lots of high fives was happening in heaven. An unfathomable number of Angels were bursting with joy and shouting with glee. Your guardian angel was so overjoyed that it felt like doing backflips. Meanwhile down in Hell the demons and Satan were spewing out blasphemies toward god and there was lots of wailing because you went to confession and had your sins blotted out.

And Mary was smiling at you like a Mother who was so happy her child did the fathers will.
 
Hi, Yes I feel that way too but I have come to understand that this is what makes me want to change and try really hard not to commit the sins again. Confession is humbling. I even make myself go to the same confessor, who knows my voice so that I will try even harder not to commit them again and I go pretty frequently. I do like hearing the beautiful words of absolution and I cry tears of joy.
 
One of the reasons I like confession is because I am forced to stare my sins in the face, tell other people my failings, and confront them. I can’t hide from my sins, I am forced to address them. And in doing so I am forgiven, and offered advice to combat them. I don’t feel bad about this, I feel renewed and strengthened. You have to remember, Satan wants you to not face your sins, to stay bound to them. God wants to forgive you, for you to repent and convert and become closer to Him. Confession is hard, but it is absolutely worth it.

We all have to accept that we ARE sinners and cannot change without God. And to begin that change we must go to confession. Once you accept this, and empty yourself so God can come in, you’ll be running to confession for God’s help.

I am a rotten miserable sinner. But every time I go to confession I’m getting the help I need. That doesn’t discourage me, it lifts me up.
 
Barbj said:
I just went to confession, I do not go very often Not that I am not a sinner because I am. After I go to confession I feel so bad… not relief from being forgiven but terrible that I have told someone how I really feel about things in my life anyone else feel that way?I know that I need to change how I feel about confession but how?
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Laudatur Iesus Christus.

I do not follow. Why are you talking about “how [you] really feel about things” in Confession?

Besides “contrition” which does not need to be mentioned directly, except in the formal act of contrition, what feelings are you discussing?

Spiritus Sapientiae nobiscum.

John Hiner
 
Some people go on and on about how good they feel after confession - how ‘cleansed’ and all kinds of things.

It can give someone who does not have these feelings in response to the sacrament a bit of a complex.

:cool:
 
Just_1_hr_a_wk said:
Some people go on and on about how good they feel after confession - how ‘cleansed’ and all kinds of things.

It can give someone who does not have these feelings in response to the sacrament a bit of a complex.

:cool:
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I’m wondering if the original poster did not have some really bad experience with a confessor who acted inappropriately in some way, and this causes an emotional “flashback”?
 
I have had similar experiences, and it comes from priests not being understanding in that I have not had a good “confession basis” in my childhood/teenage years. I feel a little at loose ends when I go in the confessional…I am not really sure what to say. Often I have priests scoff at what I’m confessing…I just don’t really know exactly what to confess. I am NOT saying I don’t sin…everyone sins…I just have trouble knowinng exactly what to confess…is it mortal sins like “I have had some desires/temptations of sexual nature” or things like “I have been having trouble swearing”…I guess I feel a little lost when it comes to this.

If someone could also give sort of a step by step guide again (like first you say this prayer, then you confess, then…). I would be greatful. While I think I know it, I just sometimes worry I am not doing it correctly…and that also contributes to how I feel about confession.
 
Our original poster asks a pretty general question, so that’s how I have to try to answer it. All the previous posts are especially valid and true. That said, it’s evidently possible to leave the confessional with feelings less than relief and the joy of having one’s sins forgiven. My first thought is for you to do a little searching,with the goal of finding a priest as a regular confessor. Priests are like anyone else, and have varying gifts and levels of understanding. You need a confessor who will listen to your confession with a spirit of charity. If you’re having problems with a particular sin, he needs to be understanding, and able to provide you with counseling to help you resist the temptations to these sins. In my mind, there is a fine line between a regular confessor and a spiritual director. Both are wonderful gifts. This figure might be just what you need. As a parting note, recall always, that Our Lord is ever willing to forgive our sins.
 
Unfortunately there are Priests who for whatever reason are not all that compassionate and leave you feeling like your sins have not been absolved. Then fortunately there are Priest who are very compassionate and you leave feeling you have recieved God’s grace and your sins have really been forgiven. Personally I have encountered both.
 
you have all given me much to think about thank you! I believe all have experienced a bad confession a time or two in their life time. You change confessors and go on at least I have tried to. But it seems I am to be haunted by these other negative feelings perhaps after a time these will change. Perhaps I should go more often? talk to new confessor about my reaction and why or talk to old confessor? Just live with it and pray about it? I have found sometimes one must live with the questions in life and eventually the answers manifest themselves…
 
Barbj said:
you have all given me much to think about thank you! I believe all have experienced a bad confession a time or two in their life time. You change confessors and go on at least I have tried to. But it seems I am to be haunted by these other negative feelings perhaps after a time these will change. Perhaps I should go more often? talk to new confessor about my reaction and why or talk to old confessor? Just live with it and pray about it? I have found sometimes one must live with the questions in life and eventually the answers manifest themselves…
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Unless these feelings cause you to doubt God or the sacrament, I suggest you learn to live with it. Try the things suggested in 12 step groups - Act as If and Let go and let God.
 
I often feel very bad after confession. It has nothing to do with not feeling forgiven, or the priest not being compassionate. It just has to do with taking an honest look at my sins, and acknowledging them to myself, the priest, and to God. This seems very normal to me, and I don’t see it as something I need to try to change.
 
I agree 100% with what Bootoo said. When people say they feel lighter than air after confession…I’ve NEVER felt that way.

I almost always feel unsettled after confession. I think it’s because I am a private person and not used to talking about myself in general, and my faults and sins in particular. And to go to confession and tell it like it really is, is difficult for me. I cry almost every time I go, even if the sin is not that significant. Thank God my priest is very compassionate.
 
Barbj said:
you have all given me much to think about thank you! I believe all have experienced a bad confession a time or two in their life time. You change confessors and go on at least I have tried to. But it seems I am to be haunted by these other negative feelings perhaps after a time these will change. Perhaps I should go more often? talk to new confessor about my reaction and why or talk to old confessor? Just live with it and pray about it? I have found sometimes one must live with the questions in life and eventually the answers manifest themselves…
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My First Confession was kind of weird, so what I did was I went back the next day with a different Confessor, and then I went once a week until I felt like I had a handle on the experience, with knowing what to expect, etc.

In my own case, when I first come out, I feel deeply depressed, because I hate my sins, but by the time I get half-way across the parking lot, I’m feeling pretty good. That doesn’t happen all the time, though. Sometimes I don’t feel anything at all, and sometimes I just stay depressed for a long while, and then I forget about it altogether.
 
I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who feels this way after confession. Perhaps it is alright a I always feel Gods love come thru is humbling and confusing also.
 
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