Confessional Etiquette: The 3-minute Rule

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This may be straying from the topic a bit, but here goes… I have been in the confessional line several times with someone who hasn’t been in many years. Everyone else in the line was very happy to usher that person to the very front of the line and wait for as long as need be for that person to finish. Sometimes the people who haven’t been to confession in a long time will mention it to the person standing next to them, and I believe it would be wonderful if that person then went to the people near the front, introduced the one who hasn’t been in a long time, and asked for them to let this person go first. If someone has an important reason to go first (such as another appointment, etc), they are welcome to go first and keep their place in the line. Usually the other penitents are very happy about this news and make the fallen away person feel welcomed. So if this ever happens to you, consider helping that person to the front 🙂
 
How AWESOME, CatholicSam !!! 🙂

Sure wish I went to your parish! :cool: 👍

~~ the phoenix
 
the phoenix:
Good and friendly greetings, netmil(name removed by moderator),

I believe the reason for our misunderstanding is because you did not take the time to READ CAREFULLY the first post I made on this topic? Because if you did you still wouldn’t be asking even now whether I can see where you’re coming from. You already were provided your answer last night for goodness’ sakes!!! 😛

To save you from scrolling up, I’ll now quote myself from my earlier post dated yesterday at 8:52 P.M.: “Now if you sense in advance that you’re going to be taking up the priest’s entire allotted scheduled time in the Confessional, it would be kind of you to schedule a private Confession.” Gee, kinda rings a bell to what the original poster was suggestin’, huh? And here I was already aware of it, and had posted to that effect, before you pointed it out to me. :o

All’s I’m asking is for people to be aware of what has actually already been stated in the thread before making any dismissive claims that posters are allegedly missing the point.

And, to look at this from another aspect … what sense does it make to automatically assume that those of us who are willing to wait longer than three minutes cannot see the advantages of quicker lines? It’s not that people are missing the point about how long confessor-goers hold up the rest of the line, it’s that, IMHO, we see the point very clearly, are willing to give those long confessor-goers the benefit of the doubt that they are making good use of the extra time, believing that the Good Lord will reward our merciful waiting for them with the Providence of His Divine Mercy when it comes our turn in line.

~~ the phoenix
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Okay.
Well I am looking at the original post as directed in the first person I’m not sure that you and I are seeing it the same way. You are talking about the person in line in front of you. I thought the poster was talking to us, here at CA.
I guess it was my mistake to write “The Posters” instead of “Some Posters” that way you would not personalize my posts.

Merry Christmas, My Friend!
 
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CatholicSam:
This may be straying from the topic a bit, but here goes… I have been in the confessional line several times with someone who hasn’t been in many years. Everyone else in the line was very happy to usher that person to the very front of the line and wait for as long as need be for that person to finish. Sometimes the people who haven’t been to confession in a long time will mention it to the person standing next to them, and I believe it would be wonderful if that person then went to the people near the front, introduced the one who hasn’t been in a long time, and asked for them to let this person go first. If someone has an important reason to go first (such as another appointment, etc), they are welcome to go first and keep their place in the line. Usually the other penitents are very happy about this news and make the fallen away person feel welcomed. So if this ever happens to you, consider helping that person to the front 🙂
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Consider your parishes blessed that you even have line ups for confession! The most I have seen at our church is 4 people, and usually there is just one. The Sacrament of Penance is not a popular sacrament in our parish. 😦
 
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Riley259:
The confession lines that I’ve been part of vary considerably. Most times, people take about 5 minutes but I’ve seen people in there for almost a half hour. I think it is a good idea to make an individual appointment with a priest if you think you’ll be longer that 10 minutes.
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Although that (the highlighted sentence) is a good idea, I believe that many people do not have the slightest idea how long their confession might take! Even if they have been away for a long time, they examine their conscience and take note of the sins they believe they need to confess, however, when they get into confession with a good priest, they may well find that he has questions for them. These questions will help highlight their motivation for certain sins, or might lead to the confession of other sins not brought to their attention by the examination of conscience.

There may also be the need for advice to help them get on the road to sanctity, or how to avoid getting themselves into situations that will lead to sin.

Even with people who are regulars to confession and are succeeding in avoiding all mortal sins, there are times when confession can take longer than a few minutes. The priest (who may know them, being their regular confessor) may ask how this or that aspect of prayer life is going, and a conversation may start.

The priests I know do not look at their watches to see how long this is taking! And when you are seriously engaged in this spiritual help, neither do you!!

All in all, I look at confession as a visit to the Heavenly Doctor. When I go to my G…P. I never mind how long I have to wait, since I know he is giving as much time as is necessary for their condition to the other patients, and that he will do the same for me. In the same way, I never mind how long I have to wait in the confession line.

I go to confession in an Opus Dei center, anyway. The Opus Dei priests are always willing to spend an enormous amount of time in the confession box. I remember when I went to Rome for the canonization of St. Josemaria - we visited San Eugenio - a parish church run by Opus Dei priests. One of our priests who was with us went into one of the confessionals after Mass, and did not accompany us on the next part of our day. The next day I learned that he had stayed there more than 12 hours hearing confessions! How wonderful!
 
netmil(name removed by moderator):

Thanks for your kindness and patience in helping clear things up. Over the past few days, I definitely have not been at my best when it comes to communicating. Merry Christmas to you too, and am looking forward to enjoying more of your posts throughout the New Year! 🙂

Joan M:

Wow! Now the Opus Dei attitude towards Confession that you’re describing is REALLY what I like !!! You are SO Blessed ! 🙂

~~ the phoenix
 
My dad says that as a teen at an Catholic School in the fifties, he and his friends used to watch to see what girls took the longest in the confessional. Then, they would try to ask those girls out. However, the girls that took the longest were usually those with the most sensitive consciences, so fortunately, their strategy for finding loose girls failed.

My confessions are always short. I have so much trouble remembering my sins. I scurry about my days without much reflection and even my daily examination of conscience seems pretty lame.

My confessions with Legionary priests have been longer. They really know how to root out those sins!! God bless good confessors!
 
Heh this is an interesting topic. Seems to me the amount of time it takes in the confessional largly depends on the priests style. Sometimes they dig a little to get you to reflect more or see something about the sin that may have been unthought. Others only want to hear what specific commandment was broken and leave it at that. Personally I kinda like those types.:whistle:
 
I find a 3-minute rule foreign to the spirit of meeting Jesus for healing. The ones who have gone to confession a million times will be aware of the needs of the other penitents, and those who haven’t should be left in the hands of the priest (concerning the length of the confession).
 
My penance begins the minute I step into line. Thank God that I have found a priest who gives spiritual direction as well as absolution. I joyfully drive to another parish to wait 30, sometimes 45 minutes in line. I can get absolution in my parish in 2 minutes, but no spiritual direction. Many people grumble and complain about the wait. I thank God for letting me discover this priest. He always asks questions and gives advice to help me grow in holiness. The wait is always an excellent time to further examine my conscience, pray the chaplet of Divine Mercy or the Rosary.
 
I don’t think there is or should be a time limit for saving a soul. Jesus talked about leaving the 99 sheep and searching high and low for the lost sheep. Presumably this takes time. I once got impatient becuase the man in front of me took 20 minutes. When he came out he looked so relieved and happy I couldn’t begrudge him. Besides I know what slob I am before God so how I have no business timing anybody.
 
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SFH:
For those younger Catholics who were never taught and those older Catholics who may have forgot …

If you anticipate taking more than 3 minutes in the confessional, schedule a separate appointment with the priest or wait until everyone else in the confessional line has gone to confession.
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Hey, I’d be in an out as fast as I could but my priest actually likes to help people learn how to not sin again. Don’t talk to me, talk to my priest. I think his average confessions are 10 - 15 minutes.
 
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