Confessions (and other things) longer nowadays?

[DeniseNY]

Just because it might take someone longer than 2 minutes doesn’t mean they are being inconsiderate.

 

[JimG]

You’re right. It’s okay to take 3 minutes!
Just kidding. I only mention two minutes because a priest of my former parish once mentioned that the average confession time was just over 2 minutes.

 

[Canvas]

If you need to get to Confession, then make sure you are there 20-30 minutes before the scheduled start time.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

If you need to get to Confession, then make sure you are there 20-30 minutes before the scheduled start time.

Not a bad plan, if time allows. Look at it this way: would you rather spend 20 or 30 minutes waiting, and know you will get your confession heard because you got there first, or spend 20 or 30 minutes somewhere in the line, being unsure if you’ll even get to?

 

[OddBird]

Remember, it isn’t always the penitent who takes a long time. I’m usually pretty brief with my confessions and the priests are the ones who have more to say.

This has been my experience as well with my regular confessor (Latin rite). He always takes time to give advice, sometimes to analyze in depth with me the process that led to a certain sin, so I can better recognize and avoid it next time. That is something I find extremely useful for the formation of conscience, and one of the main reasons he has become my regular confessor; but that also means my average confessions last about 20 minutes (even though I am done in two at most).

For that reason, I usually confess on appointment. I have gone a few times during the scheduled confession times of the parish, because I had done something which was really weighing down on my conscience, and was uneasy with waiting until the next appointment possibility. In such cases, I often am so upset with myself that I end up crying in the confessional, and probably take a bit longer than most people.

 

[GiftofMercy]

I get it. They want the priests to gain better preaching skills and I’m all for that, but it seem very formulaic to me.

The Bishop wants homilies the Congregation can and will take in and remember and have something to learn from and think about.

Try it out this weekend. Come away from the Mass and ask yourself a few days later, what was the homily, what was the point, what did I learn

 

[thistle]

I have in mind more the people in line (and I have been one of these people before) who are not able to go to confession before the priest quits hearing them for the day. In many cases the priest does not keep hearing confessions until the very last person in line has had the opportunity to confess — he has to begin Mass or has to leave for some other good reason. Priests in the United States are very pressed for time in many parishes.

Getting to the church early enough to make sure you’re the first in line is another option. So is, as you note, making an appointment.

I guess we are a bit better off as our Church has Confession 6 days a week (Mon to Sat).

 

[HomeschoolDad]

I guess we are a bit better off as our Church has Confession 6 days a week (Mon to Sat).

You are indeed. The norm in the typical US parish is 60 to 90 minutes on Saturday afternoon, with two priests if the parish can manage it, but more often than not, just a single priest. You may have 20 people on a busy day, in some parishes fewer than that. Simple math should demonstrate what I’m talking about.

If you need to get to Confession, then make sure you are there 20-30 minutes before the scheduled start time.

And another thing: when you are waiting, it is usually in the nave of the church, and the Blessed Sacrament is present. Where is there a better place to spend 20-30 minutes?

 

[jimXroberts]

When I was in my teens, a church in South London was popular because Confession involved 3 Hail Marys and no questions asked. I did once ask the priest if he’d mind putting down his magazine. My sins might not have seemed important to him, but they were the only ones I had.

At my present Church we used to have an Indian priest who was studying for his PhD. He stayed at the Presbytery although he was not officially on “the staff”. He didn’t preach because people had difficulty understanding him. I once went to him for Confession and when he realised I could understand him, I got all the sermons he’d been saving up. I’m not sure how long I was in there, but those behind me in the queue must have thought I’d confessed to being the Boston strangler.

 

[TheLittleLady]

They’ll tell you nowadays just to make an appointment, but I prefer anonymous confession behind the screen.

You can make an appointment for anonymous confession. You simply say first thing “I want to schedule an anonymous confession”. The appointment is made with out your name, the priest goes to the Confessional a few minutes before you are scheduled to arrive.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

They’ll tell you nowadays just to make an appointment, but I prefer anonymous confession behind the screen.

I didn’t know you could do that. I once felt the urgent need to confess to a priest I didn’t know, so I set up an appointment, but I gave at least my “first” name (I put “first” in quotations because I go by my middle name). I would be concerned that a request for an “anonymous” confession could make them think I’d killed someone or robbed a bank

It would come down more to etiquette than anything else — I am very “old school” and I make the practice of identifying myself on the phone first, before I start stating my business or asking “is so-and-so in?”, but if they allow for anonymity and aren’t put off by it, I’m good with that.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Working for parishes for a very long time. Sometimes people give initials, first names, or no names. We just make the appointment

 

[Shasta-Rose]

In our church, it’s a half-hour, twice a week. That’s for most of the year. For Advent and Lent, they will have two sessions with extra priests, and the sessions will go on for several hours. That should get just about everyone in with some priest, twice a year. So, that’s when I go. I know I’ll eventually get heard and won’t be leaving after a half-hour when the priest doesn’t have any more time.

Up until this year, I had a favorite priest to confess to. He was sent from the diocese for the special “multi-priest” events. Now I see he has been taken from his job as Something-Or-Other-of-Education-for-the-diocese, and he has been given his own three-church group to take through the consolidation process, forming a new parish. So I guess I won’t see him anymore. Sad about that.

 

[phil19034]

You are indeed. The norm in the typical US parish is 60 to 90 minutes on Saturday afternoon, with two priests if the parish can manage

Two priests??!?!

When my local parish had 2 priests (which it did for many years until this summer), each priest only had to hear confessions once every two weeks.

Why, because they only scheduled confessions from 4 to 5 on Saturdays with just one priest (the same priest who would pray the 5:15 PM mass)

 

[babochka]

Try it out this weekend. Come away from the Mass and ask yourself a few days later, what was the homily, what was the point, what did I learn

Father’s homily clocked in at 18 minutes this morning. I timed it because of this thread. I heard most of it, but I usually lose focus because the homily competes with the kids. Father engaged the congregation. My kids had questions afterward. One of the teenagers even complimented him on it. (The gospel was Lazarus and the Rich Man. The Epistle was St. Paul not boasting, except about his weakness.) He referenced the Church Fathers and Pope Benedict’s Encyclical Spe Salvi, which I came home and read. My favorite line was, “No man sins alone, and no man achieves holiness alone.”

Will I remember this in a few days’ time? I probably won’t even be able to recall what the Gospel reading was. Such is my life these days. I don’t think a 7-minute homily with three points will help solve the problem of a homeschooling mom with six kids and a middle-aged memory. Nevertheless, the message has become a part of my understanding of how we are to see this gospel, how we are to reach out to the poor among us, and how ultimately the message of this gospel is one of hope. I suspect I will always associate this gospel with hope and if that is what I took away from the 17-minute homily, it is enough. I’m not studying for a test.

As an aside, I went to Confession after the Divine Liturgy today. Scheduled confessions are before, but I couldn’t get to the Church early enough. Father was gracious enough to give me a few minutes after the liturgy. I had a short list, but it was a long confession because we had the time. I received good advice, gained a bit of insight into myself, learned something new and, most importantly, received absolution. Somebody saw us, determined that Father was hearing confessions, and a line formed. By the time we finished, there were three people waiting. Maybe Father was wishing we had confessionals so nobody could see us.

 

[Margaret_Ann]

7 minutes for a sermon? Our pastor usually does at least 10-15 minutes. Also, when I was in my senior year in college, our chaplain (now deceased, RIP) gave a 45 minute homily for Respect Life Sunday & Ash Wednesday. His title: IT’S A MUST - YOU ARE DUST! AND UNTO DUST YOU SHALL RETURN!

That’s 25+ years ago and I still remember it.

 

[GiftofMercy]

I don’t think a 7-minute homily with three points will help solve the problem of a homeschooling mom with six kids and a middle-aged memory.

You sound very busy!

I did the OF and the EF as usual. I can never hear well in the OF because of the distance from the choir loft to the Priest. We had 4 Baptisms in Mass , it was lovely. I think I remember the words in these Baptisms more when they are on. As the Priest talks about what it means. The EF was talking about the wedding guests and if they were wearing the right clothing. I remember this well because we have a big family wedding in a few weeks BTW the EF homilies are not restricted to 7 mins, because either a Bishop and what I highly suspect to be a Parish exorcist celebrate these Masses. When we get the former, we get a lot of be good to your neighbour and see God in everyone ( i live in the ‘hood’ so to speak. It is a challenge to really feed and water and clothe your enemy here) and with the latter we get fire and brimstone and more fire and then examples of how to avoid it. He will give quite long homilies on the solemn high masses. Again all about fire and brimstone

 

[Bataar]

Long confessions seem to be more frequent when people do the face to face confessions. It definitely seems to be treated as more of a conversation / spiritual counseling than a simple confession. I wish the priests would keep that in mind. When I go to confession, I kneel behind the screen, say the simple, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned,” and confess. My confessions rarely last longer than 5 minutes.

 

[HomeschoolDad]

Long confessions seem to be more frequent when people do the face to face confessions. It definitely seems to be treated as more of a conversation / spiritual counseling than a simple confession. I wish the priests would keep that in mind. When I go to confession, I kneel behind the screen, say the simple, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned,” and confess. My confessions rarely last longer than 5 minutes.

You make a good point. Kneeling is less comfortable than sitting (unless you have issues that make sitting painful in the first place). My knees aren’t the best and it is painful for me to kneel for extended periods. Sometimes I have had to get a chair and sit down.

 

[babochka]

Long confessions seem to be more frequent when people do the face to face confessions. It definitely seems to be treated as more of a conversation / spiritual counseling than a simple confession. I wish the priests would keep that in mind. When I go to confession, I kneel behind the screen, say the simple, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned,” and confess. My confessions rarely last longer than 5 minutes.

I know that anecdotes do not make up for good numbers, but the longest confession I ever had was behind the screen. I did not know the confessor and I have no idea why he was so chatty, but he kept me in there for nearly an hour. My (then) fiance went after me and was only there for 30 minutes. Lucky guy.

I don’t know if your impression is true because I almost never go to confession behind a screen, as it is not an option in my rite, but I have heard others say it. I do know of one parish where there are usually two confession lines. Neither has a face-to-face option. One is Fr. Speedy. His confession line moves at about 3 times the pace of Father Takes-his-time. Fr. Speedy is hard of hearing and often cuts you off before you’re done if you speak too softly. Fr. Takes-his-time asks relevant questions and gives good, solid advice, but his rarely chatty. People have preferences and choose accordingly. What a blessing for that parish to have two priests available for confession! It has not always been the case, but these days we are perfectly free to choose our own confessors.

Every time the subject comes up, the words of Saint Alphonsus Liguori, come to mind:

After imploring confessors to take time to instruct and encourage the penitent he states, “But some will say, if we treat sinners in this manner a great deal of our time will be taken up, and others who are waiting cannot be heard. But in answer I say, that it is better to hear one confession well than to hear a great number imperfectly. But the most appropriate answer is, that the confessor has not to give an account to God of the persons who are waiting, but only of the person whose confession he has begun to hear.”

Now, I’m not saying that the patron saint of confessors has the right approach. I’m not going to say that one priest’s approach to hearing confessions is wrong and another’s right, but I do prefer St. Alphonsus’ approach and I seek out confessors who follow it.

My Confession part of the sacrament is usually quite brief. I would say that it rarely lasts a whole minute. I go to confession regularly and have a rather repetitive list. I only give extra information if it is extremely important or if the priest asks.

This isn’t a traditional vs. modern issue. It is simply a matter of a particular priest’s approach to the sacrament.