Confessions, Scruples and Possible Mortal Sin

[Latinitas]

Hi everyone,

I’m in a quandary as to what to do:

Waking up today, some sexual thoughts were in my mind as normal, and I can repel them most of the time; no sin there. But today, I knew a gave into one, but I can’t remember ‘how much’ of my will gave in. I immediately stopped it after - it felt more like I ‘slipped’ trying to repel it. Now I know committed at least a venial sin, but I’m afraid it might have been mortal.

Ordinarily, I would try to go to confession tomorrow, when my mom goes to her Bible study (although it’s difficult to find a priest). Now the problem is, however, that a confessor told me yesterday that I’m very scrupulous, and not to go to confession more than once a week, unless I’m absolutely certain I committed a mortal sin. If I go tomorrow, it will be the third time in four days that I’ve confessed, which is a little much, and I’m couldn’t swear that I committed a mortal sin. My instincts told me it was, but being scrupulous, I have to ignore, since, as I’ve learned, they’re wrong often. However, since today, I know I committed at least a venial sin, and there’s a probability that it might have been mortal, I don’t if I should go to confession tomorrow. I don’t want to disobey my confessor, but I don’t want to let my soul remain in mortal sin either. I have good moral certitude that I made an act of perfect contrition afterwords, but the thought of a mortal sin ruined the day.

Good advice is appreciated, and keep me in your prayers.

Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

 

[Richard_White]

I would say just venial because you didn’t want those thoughts in the first place and even if you did harbor one by accident, it’s sometimes hard to control every single thing that pops in our minds. As Jesus to heal our memory and to bansih bad thoughts and inclinations away from us.

In regard to Confession, I think once week should be fine unless a mortal sin has actually been committed. This is what I try to do and it is usually good for me. I hope that you and your confessor can woek out some of the scrupulosity.

May God bless you!

 

[jmr_1985]

As someone who has struggled with scruples in the past, I doubt you actually gave in at all. Sometimes these sexual thoughts just pop into our heads. It’s like a day dream and can take a moment to actually realize that we are having an inappropriate thought. The Enemy works to make us feel like we have fallen out of Grace with Our Lord. But remember, He loves us so very much.

JMR

 

[Bookcat]

A person with scrupulosity --ought to have a “regular confessor” who can direct them --and even give them some general principles to follow -to apply (for them due to their particular scruples -they are usually not for those with a normal conscience).

For they can be in a rather different boat than others. They with the direction of their confessor and the principles given - then act contrary to their scruples - ignore them -(using the older language) despise them, dismiss them–following that direction and the principles given. Acting contrary to what is not really their conscience so much as is unfounded fears. Such is a large key in the age old approach in the Church for scruples.

 

[Kaliaa]

From the CCC:

1857 For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must together be met: “Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”131

It doesn’t sound to me like you had these three requirements happening at the time you are concerned about. This is the standard by which you judge any activity that you think might be sin.

 

[agnes_therese]

Hi everyone,

I’m in a quandary as to what to do:

Waking up today, some sexual thoughts were in my mind as normal, and I can repel them most of the time; no sin there. But today, I knew a gave into one, but I can’t remember ‘how much’ of my will gave in. I immediately stopped it after - it felt more like I ‘slipped’ trying to repel it. Now I know committed at least a venial sin, but I’m afraid it might have been mortal.
Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

For a sin to be mortal, it requires full consent, which is not present in this case.

You need to obey your confessor – confession once a week, no more.

 

[chimo]

Hi everyone,

I’m in a quandary as to what to do:

Waking up today, some sexual thoughts were in my mind as normal, and I can repel them most of the time; no sin there. But today, I knew a gave into one, but I can’t remember ‘how much’ of my will gave in. I immediately stopped it after - it felt more like I ‘slipped’ trying to repel it. Now I know committed at least a venial sin, but I’m afraid it might have been mortal.

Ordinarily, I would try to go to confession tomorrow, when my mom goes to her Bible study (although it’s difficult to find a priest). Now the problem is, however, that a confessor told me yesterday that I’m very scrupulous, and not to go to confession more than once a week, unless I’m absolutely certain I committed a mortal sin. If I go tomorrow, it will be the third time in four days that I’ve confessed, which is a little much, and I’m couldn’t swear that I committed a mortal sin. My instincts told me it was, but being scrupulous, I have to ignore, since, as I’ve learned, they’re wrong often. However, since today, I know I committed at least a venial sin, and there’s a probability that it might have been mortal, I don’t if I should go to confession tomorrow. I don’t want to disobey my confessor, but I don’t want to let my soul remain in mortal sin either. I have good moral certitude that I made an act of perfect contrition afterwords, but the thought of a mortal sin ruined the day.

Good advice is appreciated, and keep me in your prayers.

Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas

You seemed to be very conscious spiritual person who believes mortal sins can be committed in your thoughts. I really do not believe a mortal sin can be committed in the way you had expressed yourself in your post. You are too hard on yourself so what you need to do is to try to think more of your Lord instead of yourself. People who are constantly thinking the way you do are centering too much on themselves instead of the Lord. It is just a matter of practice to change your attitude so that you can focus more on your Lord. St. Maria Faustina was probably the most scrupulous saint ever who had often expressed a much bigger sin than what it actually deserves. Many times she would exempt herself from Holy Communion thinking she had committed a mortal sin. She was visited by Jesus who would say to her that her fault was not bad enough for her to excuse herself from Holy Communion. In fact it grieved Him more that she did not go to Holy Communion. Go to Holy Communion more often and you will find your spiritual life easier to handle. Try not to focus on yourself but give way more to the Lord. Try not to be scared about what I am going to say. The devil can make us think too much on every sin no matter how small it is. He would like to see us make it bigger than what it actually is. That is how he gets to those who are more spiritually inclined. The Holy Communion is the greatest action of love which our Lord gives for us. Give yourself more time to this action rather than to Confession and you will the difference it will make for your life. Perhaps you do not reflect too much on what is Holy Communion as you spend too much time on what is sin. As I said earlier you are in great company for St. Maria Faustina was in these same shoes. Go to her for help. She can be the patron saint of scrupulous people as well as the patron saint for those who suffer. Read her Diary to give you the strength, encouragement and hope you will need for your Christian journey.

 

[houston1]

You seemed to be very conscious spiritual person who believes mortal sins can be committed in your thoughts. I really do not believe a mortal sin can be committed in the way you had expressed yourself in your post. You are too hard on yourself so what you need to do is to try to think more of your Lord instead of yourself. People who are constantly thinking the way you do are centering too much on themselves instead of the Lord. It is just a matter of practice to change your attitude so that you can focus more on your Lord. St. Maria Faustina was probably the most scrupulous saint ever who had often expressed a much bigger sin than what it actually deserves. Many times she would exempt herself from Holy Communion thinking she had committed a mortal sin. She was visited by Jesus who would say to her that her fault was not bad enough for her to excuse herself from Holy Communion. In fact it grieved Him more that she did not go to Holy Communion. Go to Holy Communion more often and you will find your spiritual life easier to handle. Try not to focus on yourself but give way more to the Lord. Try not to be scared about what I am going to say. The devil can make us think too much on every sin no matter how small it is. He would like to see us make it bigger than what it actually is. That is how he gets to those who are more spiritually inclined. The Holy Communion is the greatest action of love which our Lord gives for us. Give yourself more time to this action rather than to Confession and you will the difference it will make for your life. Perhaps you do not reflect too much on what is Holy Communion as you spend too much time on what is sin. As I said earlier you are in great company for St. Maria Faustina was in these same shoes. Go to her for help. She can be the patron saint of scrupulous people as well as the patron saint for those who suffer. Read her Diary to give you the strength, encouragement and hope you will need for your Christian journey.

I agree with taking the focus off yourself and onto Jesus. Try to receive the Eucharist often and work up to every day, if possible.

In addition, the fact that you are so worried about committing a sin is a strong indicator that the sin was certainly not mortal. These thoughts came to you with your displeasure: not that you were not tempted and enticed by them, but that your will was displeased that you found the thoughts tempting. I hope this makes sense.

In addition, these thoughts occurred upon waking which means that your will was likely compromised. So, again no mortal sin.

This kind of thing happens to me all the time, even last night! It is a battle and the enemy certainly tries to disturb my peace in this way, especially when the thoughts are not exactly sexual in nature but kind of tend that way as my imagination runs off. I have been going to confession once a week for two years and I have never forgone receiving the Eucharist when I had any doubt about my consent. I think you should do the same. Be at peace.

houston1