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Elizabeth502
Guest
I’ve been reading various posts in the forum about lengthy confessions which include discussion being better left for spiritual direction. Time-wise, this makes sense. Content-wise, it may not.
When I had a spiritual director several years ago, we never, ever discussed my sins, let alone sacramentally, although he was a priest. Ironically, I might have been comfortable doing so in that case, because he was very open & available & we had a fantastic rapport; I really trusted him. But that was never the purpose of our arrangement. I was looking for spiritual direction at the time. His name was offered by another priest whose sensitivity & judgment I trusted, who knew what I was looking for in a director. I would also think that if I wanted to include confession as part of the arrangement, it would have been only fair to bring that up initially, or at the very least when the urge developed later. (“We never talked about this, but how would you feel about…”)
The purpose of the direction in my case was a journey into prayer, which I felt underdeveloped in (in some aspects). He took me into areas I felt I needed to go into & which had been stumbling blocks in the past: I led, he followed. In addition to confession not being an initial, agreed-to element, since in my case the point was a progression from point A to point B to point C (so to speak) in prayer, I think it would have detoured the journey to say the least, & maybe even derailed it, if I had interspersed our sessions with sacramental confession.
There are people on CAF who have stated that their confessor & spiritual director are one and the same. How does that work? In the course of a regular session do you simply say, “Would you hear my confession now”? Or do you schedule separate appointments with him for different purposes?
What I would be seeking in spiritual direction now would be very different than in the previous case. In this case I’m looking for someone who can help me resolve some spiritual angst of the past that is very much weighing on me now & affects the content of my confessions. (I want to bring it up in confession because I think it’s pertinent: I have questions about my culpability & how it affects my relationship with God, but having read so many posts about not taking up a priest’s time too much during regular confession, I realize that it may get too lengthy to bring these up in the confessional per se.)
How do you go about finding someone who could serve both roles well simultaneously? – because as you can see, I have thought of them as separate roles. (In that regard, there are a lot of female spiritual directors in my area, who advertise. I’ve never been particularly attracted to seeking one out – and I hated the one trial meeting I had with a Religious – because it was like a counseling/therapy session combined with New Age – candles, “instant meditation,” and all. I want someone theologically & sacramentally grounded enough that the person can guide me & help me resolve my inner conlicts.
When I had a spiritual director several years ago, we never, ever discussed my sins, let alone sacramentally, although he was a priest. Ironically, I might have been comfortable doing so in that case, because he was very open & available & we had a fantastic rapport; I really trusted him. But that was never the purpose of our arrangement. I was looking for spiritual direction at the time. His name was offered by another priest whose sensitivity & judgment I trusted, who knew what I was looking for in a director. I would also think that if I wanted to include confession as part of the arrangement, it would have been only fair to bring that up initially, or at the very least when the urge developed later. (“We never talked about this, but how would you feel about…”)
The purpose of the direction in my case was a journey into prayer, which I felt underdeveloped in (in some aspects). He took me into areas I felt I needed to go into & which had been stumbling blocks in the past: I led, he followed. In addition to confession not being an initial, agreed-to element, since in my case the point was a progression from point A to point B to point C (so to speak) in prayer, I think it would have detoured the journey to say the least, & maybe even derailed it, if I had interspersed our sessions with sacramental confession.
There are people on CAF who have stated that their confessor & spiritual director are one and the same. How does that work? In the course of a regular session do you simply say, “Would you hear my confession now”? Or do you schedule separate appointments with him for different purposes?
What I would be seeking in spiritual direction now would be very different than in the previous case. In this case I’m looking for someone who can help me resolve some spiritual angst of the past that is very much weighing on me now & affects the content of my confessions. (I want to bring it up in confession because I think it’s pertinent: I have questions about my culpability & how it affects my relationship with God, but having read so many posts about not taking up a priest’s time too much during regular confession, I realize that it may get too lengthy to bring these up in the confessional per se.)
How do you go about finding someone who could serve both roles well simultaneously? – because as you can see, I have thought of them as separate roles. (In that regard, there are a lot of female spiritual directors in my area, who advertise. I’ve never been particularly attracted to seeking one out – and I hated the one trial meeting I had with a Religious – because it was like a counseling/therapy session combined with New Age – candles, “instant meditation,” and all. I want someone theologically & sacramentally grounded enough that the person can guide me & help me resolve my inner conlicts.
OOOOOPs I like to watch all those shows they have lots of direction from many experienced priests and lay and of course Mother Angelica.