I was confirmed in 8th grade. My preference today, is to make it later, but I have to admit that’s based on probably a misunderstanding of what confirmation is supposed to be about.
For us, we take confirmation as the point at which our children claim Catholicism for themselves - they make the committment to be Catholic for the rest of their lives (as opposed to us having made that committment for them at baptism when they didn’t have a say in the matter).
I know, from reading the Catechism that our view of confirmation is not the same as the intended view, but hubby and I came to this position with our children because of our own life experiences.
He has 8 siblings. I have 3. Both sets of parents are practicing Catholics and did a solid job faithfully raising the children Catholic. Most of us kids attended Catholic school for 8 years, some through 12th. All of the kids received the sacraments at the expected time. Most of the kids stopped growing in their faith after confirmation. 3 of us continued to go to mass on Sundays on our own accord after confirmation. Today, 4 of us are practicing Catholics and raising our families in the faith. The rest have converted to other denominations and are raising their children in those ways. It’s a real heartbreaker.
We did not want to stand in the aisles of the church watching our children confirmed before the Bishop only to have them turn away from Catholicism later in life. If they had any doubts, any reservations at this point in their lives then we didn’t believe they should be making promises in front of the bishop they couldn’t keep. Trust and integrity are big deals in our home. Heaven forbid they stand before the altar without a sincere heart!
My son should have been confirmed at 15 but he, at that time, had doubts about God and the Bible. So we spent that year finding the answers to his questions. At 16 he was ready. My daughter almost died at 11 so she’s been set in her faith since then and was quite helpful to her brother when he was struggling. She will be confirmed in May at 16.
We have taught them that confirmation is the beginning of their ministry…going to Sunday mass was their obligation now, we won’t be forcing them anymore, my son is a Lector, my daughter joined the Martha & Mary society and will be joining the adult choir. They sign up for their own hour for Eucharistic Adoration, and they are active in the youth group. We want them to claim Catholicism now so that being Catholic is in their every thought - as they approach dating, college, careers, living independently.
Time will tell whether or not our approach worked.
It’s really quite sad.