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reidtgang
Guest
Can a catholic be married without being confirmed?
Reidtgang
Reidtgang
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Br.Rich_SFO
Guest
Confirmation is not required before Marriage but is recomended in Canon Law as is Reconciliation just before the wedding. Since most diocese require at least six months marriage preparation to a year. There should not be any reason why Confirmation could not be received. If someone who is Catholic does not want to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation, why would they want to receive the Sacrament of Marriage? They don’t understand the Churches teaching on Sacraments!
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Maureen_Fiore
Guest
When my daughter started her first year of Confirmation class the Deacon of the parish told each student that it was their choice to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation. I was furious when she told me this because I want her to continue receiving all of her Sacraments and I did not like it for the Deacon to undermine my wishes. Of course, she played into it and began told me that she did not have to receive this Sacrament. I was upset with her and also this Deacon. But, she eventually signed the “contract” for the 2 year program and will be getting confirmed this coming Spring. One of the reasons was that I always thought you had to have all of the Sacraments before Marriage or Holy Orders??
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Br.Rich_SFO
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Maureen Fiore:
I don’t know of any Bishop who would Ordain someone who is not Confirmed. I do know of people who are validly Married but have never been Confirmed. The Deacon is correct after the age of reason the person must freely ask for the Sacraments to receive them without impeding the effects of the Sacramental Grace.
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Maureen_Fiore
Guest
Br. Rich SFO:
As a child we were confirmed in the 6th grade after receiving the other Sacraments. Why did it change? I also understand that teenagers who go through this process (Confirmation) think that they are finished going to mass. Many teenagers feel that these classes are a waste of time and don’t like going. This becomes hard for parents who uphold their faith and want their children to do the same. Is the Sacrament of Confirmation as important as the other Sacraments? Or should we wait for the children to reach an age of reason before they receive Baptism, Receive Reconciliation, Communion? Why is Confirmation a choice and not the others?
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Karin
Guest
Maureen Fiore:
The other sacraments (baptism, Communion ) the child/infant is given them so they can grow into their faith. learn about the faith…Confirmation is the one sacrament that the person has to desire/want/ask for (They can say with knowledge they lacked as newly baptized infants, “Yes, this is my Church. I accept the faith of this Church as my faith. This is who I am.”) .
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Maureen_Fiore
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I understand what you are saying and I fully accept your explanation. Thank You!
My question though is as a child parents decide whether or not they want their children Baptised. I know that when I had my children I had an obligation to bring my children up into the Catholic faith. We are already in the Catholic Community through Baptism, and the other Sacraments. So, why do teenagers have to make a choice as to acceptance of their faith. As a young child I never was given any choices as to whether or not I want to accept my Catholic faith. There was no choice, you are in this faith through Baptism. This Sacrament begins your journey of Catholic life.
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Karin
Guest
Maureen Fiore:
But as an adult it is our choice to continue in that faith…even though we are part of the faith we make a choice to continue in it…it is a choice that the person going through Confirmation can only make.
(hope this helps)
My edlest son at 14 is going through the COnfirmation program and will be confirmed this Summer. He has to write a letter to the Bishop requesting the sacrament for himself…he has to meet with the priest at our parish to make sure he totally understands what confirmation is all about.
Yes as an infant through Baptism we are part of the faith…thanks to our parents who got us baptised.
But as an adult it is our choice to continue in that faith…even though we are part of the faith we make a choice to continue in it…it is a choice that the person going through Confirmation can only make.
(hope this helps)
My edlest son at 14 is going through the COnfirmation program and will be confirmed this Summer. He has to write a letter to the Bishop requesting the sacrament for himself…he has to meet with the priest at our parish to make sure he totally understands what confirmation is all about.
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Karin
Guest
*The sacrament of Confirmation confers a character. By it the baptized continue their path of Christian initiation. They are enriched with the gift of the Holy Spirit, and are more closely linked to the Church. They are made strong and more firmly obliged by word and deed to witness to Christ and to spread and defend the faith.*Immediately we see that Confirmation is exactly what its name implies. It is the sacrament which makes firm or strengthens the gifts of grace that are first received in Baptism
- However, to be lawfully confirmed a person should have the use of reason, be suitably instructed, properly disposed, and able to renew the baptismal promises (canon 889). The Church’s general law is that “the sacrament of Confirmation is to be conferred at about the age of discretion.” The conference of bishops may determine another age. The age for Confirmation may be further qualified by the judgment of the one who is to confer the sacrament or when there is danger of death (Canon 891).*
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Maureen_Fiore
Guest
Please understand I don’t disagree with you and I also have a child who will be Confirmed this coming Spring. I question her when she comes home from her class (which is once a month) regarding undertstanding the purpose of this Sacrament. She gives me little feedback and I wonder to myself if she has any clue about this Sacrament. In my opinion she does not have a choice, she will receive this Sacrament just like the other Sacraments. This Sacrament is just as important as the others. Why is it that once children who recieve this Sacrament (not all children) but some decide that they are done or should I say graduated from the Church and no longer attend mass. I thought attending mass was an obligation not a choice.
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asquared
Guest
Maureen Fiore:
why is it that most Catholic adults feel that once they have been confirmed the have graduated from religious education and formation and never look for more classes, missions, retreats, or bible studies, and furthermore resent it as an imposition when parent classes are required before their own children can receiving the sacraments?
why is it that parents allow children living in their home the option of skipping Mass which is still mortal sin?
why is it that most Catholic adults feel that once they have been confirmed the have graduated from religious education and formation and never look for more classes, missions, retreats, or bible studies, and furthermore resent it as an imposition when parent classes are required before their own children can receiving the sacraments?
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Maureen_Fiore
Guest
Yes, Yes, and Yes. Before my youngest could receive Holy Communion, we as parents had to attend First Holy Communion classes which were a requirement. But, once again, some of these children have never stepped foot into the church after receiving this very important sacrament. Why??? The parents of these children attended these required classes just like me.
My children know the importance of attending mass that is why I don’t leave it as a choice it is mandatory in my house.
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Karin
Guest
Maureen Fiore:
I feel for you. First I would run and get my kid into another Confirmation class. My son was in a class for 4 months that meet only once a month (PLEASE!) how can they learn anything once a month? I took him out of this class and enrolled him in another Parish where classes are every SUNDAY! Before he was bored and so-so about Confirmation now he is so into his religion and learning!
Yes they must still attend Mass even after confirmation…the issue is that (and I give an example from our situation) inour old Parish class for COnfirmation are once per month,no sense of community etc. Our new Parish classes every week, wonderful sermons and homilies, sense of community (and we have only belonged for 1 1/2 months. So the issue perhaps is that you need to find a new Parish where your daughter is gettign somethign out fo everything that she experiences (mass, classes etc.) and that will perhaps make the difference. It did for my son!
Maureen-
I feel for you. First I would run and get my kid into another Confirmation class. My son was in a class for 4 months that meet only once a month (PLEASE!) how can they learn anything once a month? I took him out of this class and enrolled him in another Parish where classes are every SUNDAY! Before he was bored and so-so about Confirmation now he is so into his religion and learning!
Yes they must still attend Mass even after confirmation…the issue is that (and I give an example from our situation) inour old Parish class for COnfirmation are once per month,no sense of community etc. Our new Parish classes every week, wonderful sermons and homilies, sense of community (and we have only belonged for 1 1/2 months. So the issue perhaps is that you need to find a new Parish where your daughter is gettign somethign out fo everything that she experiences (mass, classes etc.) and that will perhaps make the difference. It did for my son!
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OutinChgoburbs
Guest
This is why, in my own opinion, our Eastern Rite brethren have the right idea. Baptize the baby, chrismate (confirm) the baby, give the baby his or her First Eucharist. I wish somehow the Latin Rite in this country would quit treating Confirmation as a Catholic Bar or Bat Mitzvah, and more as the Sacrament of Initiation it is.
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maryjk
Guest
Br. Rich SFO:
But my hubby is one. He was baptized Catholic. But his parents wanted him to make up his mind about religion when he was older. They didn’t want to push anything on him. .
Fastforward a number of years. And we have our convalidation. I have received the Sacrament of Confirmation. But he hasn’t. The Catholic church sees my husband as Catholic. Since he has never attended another church, in their eyes, he never left the Catholic church. So he received the Sacrament of Marriage but not the Sacrament of Confirmation.
And you are right. He really doesn’t understand the teaching of the Church. But I am trying.
They are most likely few and far between.
But my hubby is one. He was baptized Catholic. But his parents wanted him to make up his mind about religion when he was older. They didn’t want to push anything on him. .
Fastforward a number of years. And we have our convalidation. I have received the Sacrament of Confirmation. But he hasn’t. The Catholic church sees my husband as Catholic. Since he has never attended another church, in their eyes, he never left the Catholic church. So he received the Sacrament of Marriage but not the Sacrament of Confirmation.
And you are right. He really doesn’t understand the teaching of the Church. But I am trying.
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Digitonomy
Guest
Maureen:
Regarding the age when the sacrament is administered, I don’t believe the Eucharist or Reconciliation are given before the age of reason in the Latin church. This is usually about 7. So in fact the child makes the choice to receive these sacraments.
Obviously their reason and their rebeliousness develop quite a bit before most dioceses offer Confirmation, but the principle is the same: after the age of reason a Catholic must choose to partake in the sacraments. Sometimes his choice is influenced by the parents more than others.
As to why people stop attending mass, it’s simply due to parental pressure. Some parents rightly feel an obligation to have their child receive the sacraments. Once Confirmation is done, the parents feel they’ve finished the four sacraments and their work is done. There is of course a flaw in this logic.
Regarding the age when the sacrament is administered, I don’t believe the Eucharist or Reconciliation are given before the age of reason in the Latin church. This is usually about 7. So in fact the child makes the choice to receive these sacraments.
Obviously their reason and their rebeliousness develop quite a bit before most dioceses offer Confirmation, but the principle is the same: after the age of reason a Catholic must choose to partake in the sacraments. Sometimes his choice is influenced by the parents more than others.
As to why people stop attending mass, it’s simply due to parental pressure. Some parents rightly feel an obligation to have their child receive the sacraments. Once Confirmation is done, the parents feel they’ve finished the four sacraments and their work is done. There is of course a flaw in this logic.
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Maureen_Fiore
Guest
Well, unfortunately she is 3/4 of the way done with her Confirmation Classes. So, I would not be able to take her out and put her in a new class in a new parish. I like my parish and it seems that the surrounding parishes are the same as ours. The only thing I can do is contine to practice my faith and set an example for my children. I also plan to investigate the DRA (Director of Religeous Activities). She required a salary from the parish which many of us feel was not necessary. She has very progressive thinking which sometimes annoys our pastor. I plan on getting involved more so with these classes because I have another child who will be going through this process next year.
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asquared
Guest
sadly, not true, for at least half the Catholic couples who come to this parish for marriage preparation, at least one partner has not been confirmed. For those who ask for convalidation at least 80 % have one or both partners who are not confirmed, or usually have not have first communion either. I think the oompah-Loompahs are at least partially right: blame the parents.
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Digitonomy
Guest
Oompah-Loompahs?
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Maureen_Fiore
Guest
Very true and I believe parents need to support their children in the spiritual sense as well as the physical.
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