Confirmation before graduating high school

[DairyWife]

So, would it be a mortal sin for me to teach her on my own and allow her to go through the actual Sacrement at a later time? Or find a Priest that will allow it without the classes based on her knowlege?

No, the Church acknowledges that parents are the primary educators of their children. Your parish and diocese should have guidelines for homeschooling your children in the Catholic faith. However, they will likely have some way of assessing your daughter’s readiness to receive the sacrament. Try to work with your parish not against it. As davidv said the Church is a community, and it is important to learn to live and work in that community.

 

[Penitant]

What does “appropriate time” mean?

Code of Canon Law:

Can. 891 The sacrament of confirmation is to be conferred on the faithful at about the age of discretion, unless the Episcopal Conference has decided on a different age, or there is a danger of death or, in the judgement of the minister, a grave reason suggests otherwise.

http://usccb.org/norms/891.htm:

Following recognition by the Holy See, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has decreed that the age for conferring the Sacrament of Confirmation in the Latin Rite dioceses of the United States will be between “the age of discretion and about sixteen years of age.”

 

[DianJo]

You assume the classes are worth the time and that she couldn’t get just as much or more with home study.

Well…yes I do. I assume the classes are worth the time otherwise the parish wouldn’t have them. And, yes, she could get the info from home schooling if you are disposed to teaching her a lesson that could be approved by the diocese. Although, I think she would miss out on the “parish community” aspect of preparation; of being in a setting of peer support and experience. If you’ll notice, all sacraments are done in a communal setting so all the faithful can witness, participate and suppport those receiving.

The prep classes are not just about information. It (should) involve some firsthand experiencing of Christ through group activities such as prayer services, confession, adoration and the like. It should involve parents and sponsors. You can’t get that kind of interaction with one’s peers through home study.

And while I wholeheartedly agree with the previous poster that said this: “Confirmation is not the decision to make the faith one’s own. In fact, in the Eastern tradition, Catholics are confirmed when the are baptised: infancy. Confirmation completes and strengthens the graces that were given us at our baptism,” I do believe that there is a certain “training” of the teen to be responsible for their faith and to “own” their faith. Most teens don’t get this kind of instruction anywhere else - most parents aren’t doing it and the CCD program is the only place left where discussion and seeking of God is encouraged! In the first centuries of Christianity, all candidates had to go through years of training and scrutiny before being allowed to be baptized, Confirmed and to receive Holy Communion - all under the threat of death! There are still many countries today where it is illegal to be Christian. Those people would give all they have to be able to worship and practice as we do.

If you feel your parish’s Confirmation program is not up to par, then enroll her in another parish’s program - make sure she gets the info and the experience with her peers to have a meaningful Confirmation - to be open to receiving the Holy Spirit and to grow and nurture her relationship with Christ.

 

[puzzleannie]

Yes but one of the replys above indicates that one cannot be saved without both Sacrements. is this true?

no I did not say that. I quoted Jesus Christ. What possible reason could a sincere Catholic have for rejecting Confirmation and refusing to complete his Christian Initiation?
ps to the other poster Confirmation is NOT the individual confirming his baptism, it is the bishop confirming his baptism, it is the bishop who calls the individual to confirmation at the age appointed, and it is the bishop who specifies what it means to be fully prepared and properly disposed for the sacrament.

 

[Mintaka]

1. The overwhelming tradition of the Church is that Confirmation is not something that requires study, especially if you are born into the Church.
2. Associating religion classes and service projects with Confirmation is well-meaning BS. Kids should take all sorts of advanced religion classes, of course, duh. But by tying them to Confirmation, parishes are making this a ransom that must be paid in order to receive the Sacrament – and that’s simony, if parishes only saw it. The Vatican has regularly condemned this sort of thing, emphasizing that Catholics have a right to receive the Sacraments from their parishes without being messed with. American parishes have regularly ignored this.
3. If a pastor can delay a Sacrament meant for newborns and seven-year-olds until a girl’s Senior year in high school, obviously the girl or her parents can delay the Sacrament until the age of 18, at which point one can usually be confirmed after about an hour of sacramental prep.
4. It’s not right to connive at simony for the sake of “fitting in with the community”. Withholding God’s seal from a child’s baptism by making them mess around with makework for two years is sick, twisted, wrong, and Satanic. Putting up with a certain amount of stuff in the name of obedience is one thing; this is a disgrace to Christ’s Church which nobody should put up with.

Sometimes I’m surprised there are any Catholics in this country at all. Certainly some parishes seem hellbent on driving people away.

1. The reason adult converts had to wait so long to receive the Sacraments in the early Church was that they hadn’t had the advantages of either being taught by the Lord, or of being raised by a Christian family. Everything was new to them, so they had to have time to turn into a Christian person with a Christian person’s instincts. An adult convert has to turn himself into a Christian child, in many ways. Also, you had to prove that you’d fit into the community and not be a wicked persecuting traitor or someone trying to steal Christian “secrets” for nefarious purposes – because you weren’t born into the Church and you weren’t known to everyone. (So calling for a long catechumenate for Catholic kids is treating a Christian child like a suspicious character, a stranger who needs to prove himself not a butcher or witch doctor.)

(Just thought of an example – St. Jerome wrote a letter to a female friend whose father or grandfather was a pagan priest. He comforted her by pointing out that being a member of a Christian family and observing their way of life was practically the same as being a catechumen.)

For someone raised Christian, one’s sacramental preparation for the Sacraments of Initiation is either being born to Christian parents (or guardians), or being born to Christian parents and then hitting the age of reason. That’s it. You don’t study to be born; you don’t study to be born again. You don’t study to have the Holy Spirit imprinted upon you, either.

I’m trying not to be bitter here. But the more I learn about Confirmation, the more I wish I’d been Confirmed in second grade at the time of my First Communion. I could have used those gifts of the Holy Spirit my whole life.

Definitely get your kid Confirmed before she hits college, though. She’ll need the Holy Spirit something bad, then.

 

[DairyWife]

1. Associating religion classes and service projects with Confirmation is well-meaning BS. Kids should take all sorts of advanced religion classes, of course, duh. But by tying them to Confirmation, parishes are making this a ransom that must be paid in order to receive the Sacrament – and that’s simony, if parishes only saw it. The Vatican has regularly condemned this sort of thing, emphasizing that Catholics have a right to receive the Sacraments from their parishes without being messed with. American parishes have regularly ignored this.

Withholding God’s seal from a child’s baptism by making them mess around with makework for two years is sick, twisted, wrong, and Satanic. Putting up with a certain amount of stuff in the name of obedience is one thing; this is a disgrace to Christ’s Church which nobody should put up with.

.

Kids should take all kinds of advanced religion classes, as you said. Unfortunately, most kids AND most of their parents treat Confirmation as their graduation from religion classes and do not make them attend once they have been Confirmed. This trend was behind our cluster of parishes changing Confirmation to the beginning of the junior year. I agree that this is too late. I would like to see it at 5th/6th grade, personally. Our new pastor is open to the idea of changing it, too. That doesn’t mean our parish leaders were “sick, twisted, wrong, and Satanic”. That’s overly harsh.