Confirmation for grandmother

[tearsforpassing]

Hello,

Asked to the apologists, but repeated here. Thanks!

I stopped practicing when I was high school and never had confirmation. I was against Catholicism for a long time, but years ago, the anger went away and now that I sometimes wonder about God again, but I don't consider myself a Catholic.
I recently realized how much this hurt my grandmother. She's very devout and after my grandfather died many years ago, the church was really all that she had as her kids had moved away and her friends died. I found out that she had bought confirmation cards for all of her grandchildren as soon as we were born. Only she hasn't been able to send a single one.
All of us left the church and I'm sure that of none of the others of us would consider coming back, at least not in the near future. And now my grandmother is dying and I know she hurts so much (though silently - she never brings it up directly or even passive aggressively) that none of her grandchildren are still Catholics.
I would like to give her a gift of being confirmed. I've read here that you shouldn't get confirmed for your family, but those are mostly posts directed towards teenagers. I'm middle aged and while I'm not sure I believe in God, maybe I could some day, and I wouldn't harbor ill will towards the church for doing the ceremony like most the high schoolers would (I would have too back then).
Could I ask a priest to be confirmed? Could I ask a priest to 'rush' it? I'm not sure my grandmother will be alive by Easter when they usually do it.

 

[Wesrock]

I am not sure if this is the proper motivation for Confirmation. I don’t know if a priest would so so, and you’d have to make a number of promises and statements that it sounds like you wouldn’t agree with.

But by all means, please see if you can schedule an appointment to speak with a priest (or deacon) about the issue. None of us can really direct you properly. You will mostly only get a number of opinions here.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I agree with Wesrock. Talk to your pastor.

It sounds like you love your grandmother a lot and love is a great motivation. Perhaps this is God’s way of reaching out to you and drawing you into his embrace.

If you decide to pursue preparing for confirmation, you might talk about it with your grandmother. I’m sure she would find great comfort in knowing that you’ve taken steps in that direction due to her prayers and influence.

 

[porthos11]

However, it is not a sound motive. One gets confirmed because one wants to gain an increase in sanctifying grace and strength in the Christian life. To make a dying gramma feel better is not a valid reason. If one doesn’t adhere to the Catholic life, one should not partake of the Sacraments. It would be a sacrilege to do so, except for Confession.

If OP wants be confirmed, it’s because he/she wants to come back to the Church and for the good of his/her own soul. But for as long as the OP is in the state described in the opening post, he/she should not get confirmed.

Confirmation is for the one receiving, for the good of the Church. It’s not received as a gift to make a dying loved one feel better. Sorry to say this, but Gramma will just have to make her peace with it.

 

[pianistclare]

However, it is not a sound motive. One gets confirmed because one wants to gain an increase in sanctifying grace and strength in the Christian life. To make a dying gramma feel better is not a valid reason. If one doesn’t adhere to the Catholic life, one should not partake of the Sacraments. It would be a sacrilege to do so, except for Confession.

If OP wants be confirmed, it’s because he/she wants to come back to the Church and for the good of his/her own soul. But for as long as the OP is in the state described in the opening post, he/she should not get confirmed.

Confirmation is for the one receiving, for the good of the Church. It’s not received as a gift to make a dying loved one feel better. Sorry to say this, but Gramma will just have to make her peace with it.

All of the above.
Your grandmother may take far more comfort in you sitting beside her praying a rosary with her. I know my mother said it was the greatest gift.
Praying for peace for both of you.

 

[jmcrae]

I think your Grandmother would want you to get Confirmed because you want to receive the gifts from God that will enable you to proclaim the Gospel to the whole world. She doesn’t want the ceremony; she wants what it signifies.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

However, it is not a sound motive.

People start a process like confirmation preparation or RCIA for all sorts of reasons. People may judge that some of those reasons are better than others, but it doesn’t really matter what other people think. What matters is that the reason is good enough to get someone moving spiritually. They open themselves to the Holy Spirit and all sorts of things happen.

I’ve had people start RCIA because they are planning to marry a Catholic and want unity in this part of their family life. But by the time they’re actually ready for baptism or reception into the Church they’re doing it because they’re convinced it is the right thing to do for themselves and it’s the next step in their faith journeys.

Don’t discount whatever it takes to open that door initially.