Confirmation required before Marriage?

[DiZent]

A woman I know who is planning to get married told me that the priest at the parish where she was baptized refused to give her her baptismal certificate because she had never been confirmed - that she needed to be confirmed before she could marry in the church. She stated that the priest at her current parish asked her to get the baptismal certificate, and that he didn’t have a problem with her not being confirmed. I don’t know the reason she was not confirmed, but I’ve never heard that it was mandatory to be confirmed before you could be married.

 

[puzzleannie]

sounds like we have not heard the whole story

did she speak to the priest or just the parish secretary

did she say why she was requesting her baptismal certificate? every Catholic has the right to the information in the parish sacramental record at any time and this may not be denied, although a nominal fee for the service, like $5, might be requested.

sounds like there was a communication breakdown along the way from the girl to here.

Yes Confirmation is strongly recommended before Marriage, but the marriage should not be delayed because of the lack. The candidate can prepare for Confirmation while the marriage preparation is going on, and be confirmed before or after the wedding according to the bishop’s schedule.

A pastor may ask for evidence of maturity and intent to live out the Catholic faith when couples come to prepare for marriage. Failure or outright refusal to be confirmed may cast doubt on that level of maturity and commitment, so he would be justified in delaying (not denying) the sacrament.

The pastor may also delay, not deny, Confirmation or marriage, if the candidate is living a lifestyle that prevents them from making a valid confession, until such time as the candidate rectifies that situation (cohabitation, for instance).

 

[John_Lilburne]

From Introduction to the Rite of Confirmation:
“12. … Sometimes the preparation of baptized adults for confirmation coincides with preparation for marriage. In such cases if it is foreseen that the conditions for a fruitful reception of confirmation cannot be satisfied, the local Ordinary will judge whether it is better to defer confirmation until after the marriage.”
(The Rites Volume One, Liturgical Press, 1990, ISBN: 0-8146-6015-0, page 483).

Code of Canon Law, canon 1065 §1 “Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience.” (The Code of Canon Law: New revised English Translation, HarperCollins Liturgical, 1997, ISBN 000599375X.)

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

A woman I know who is planning to get married told me that the priest at the parish where she was baptized refused to give her her baptismal certificate because she had never been confirmed - that she needed to be confirmed before she could marry in the church. She stated that the priest at her current parish asked her to get the baptismal certificate, and that he didn’t have a problem with her not being confirmed. I don’t know the reason she was not confirmed, but I’ve never heard that it was mandatory to be confirmed before you could be married.

Good for the priest. Canon Law says that a Catholic seeking to Marry if not Confirmed should if at all possible be Confirmed before the Sacrament of Marriage. Why? Because the three Sacraments of Initiation are Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Communion. She has not yet completed her Sacraments of Initiation into the Catholic Faith. Since there is at least a six month preparation period before Marriage, Confirmation should not be a problem. Don’t forget to remind her to also go to Confession before receiving Confirmation.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

This recently came up in a conversation with a member of the diocesan Tribunal. He noted that Canon 1065 is rather strictly interpreted; the reason for marrying before being confirmed must be very grave. Otherwise the marriage is illicit and may be invalid. He stated that in some cases a decree of nullity has been issued because one of the parties had not been confirmed.

This was not how I had understood the matter, but I am not going to argue with the judge.

 

[IrishAm]

A woman I know who is planning to get married told me that the priest at the parish where she was baptized refused to give her her baptismal certificate because she had never been confirmed - that she needed to be confirmed before she could marry in the church

The woman still has a right to a copy of her baptismal certificate. This just doesn’t seem to make any sense . . .

 

[puzzleannie]

The woman still has a right to a copy of her baptismal certificate. This just doesn’t seem to make any sense . . .

no it does not which is why I say there is more to this story, which we now have 4th hand

 

[Cristiano]

The woman still has a right to a copy of her baptismal certificate. This just doesn’t seem to make any sense . . .

I am not sure that she has the right to obtain a copy of her baptismal certificate. When I got married I did not get a copy of my certificate. My parish here in the USA contacted my parish in Italy, I was not in the loop.

 

[puzzleannie]

I am not sure that she has the right to obtain a copy of her baptismal certificate. When I got married I did not get a copy of my certificate. My parish here in the USA contacted my parish in Italy, I was not in the loop.

I repeat every Catholic has the right to obtain from their baptismal parish a record of their baptism and all sacraments received, upon request, and sometimes for a nominal fee to cover adminstrative cost (usualy $5 or less). No one else except parents or legal guardians of a minor have that right, but a certified copy of the record can be made for another ecclesial body, like the parish where one is getting married, for good reason, as was done in this poster’s case. to save time and effort it can be done between parishes, without requiring the individual to travel to the baptismal parish.

OP contents and title do not match, so am still not sure what the real question is here.

 

[Cristiano]

I repeat every Catholic has the right to obtain from their baptismal parish a record of their baptism and all sacraments received, upon request, and sometimes for a nominal fee to cover administrative cost (usually $5 or less).

Just because you repeat the statement it does not make it a right. I was searching for it in the canon law but I cannot find it in 849 to 878. Do you have any suggestions where to look for it?

 

[Phemie]

I repeat every Catholic has the right to obtain from their baptismal parish a record of their baptism and all sacraments received, upon request, and sometimes for a nominal fee to cover adminstrative cost (usualy $5 or less). No one else except parents or legal guardians of a minor have that right, but a certified copy of the record can be made for another ecclesial body, like the parish where one is getting married, for good reason, as was done in this poster’s case. to save time and effort it can be done between parishes, without requiring the individual to travel to the baptismal parish.

OP contents and title do not match, so am still not sure what the real question is here.

It depends why they want it. We were instructed by our bishop to not provide these unless it was for church purposes. In our province a certificate of baptism can be used as proof of age in schools, medicare application, hockey teams, etc, etc. We were told to refer those who want a bapt. cert. for these purposes to Vital Statistics for their birth certificates.

 

[puzzleannie]

It depends why they want it. We were instructed by our bishop to not provide these unless it was for church purposes. In our province a certificate of baptism can be used as proof of age in schools, medicare application, hockey teams, etc, etc. We were told to refer those who want a bapt. cert. for these purposes to Vital Statistics for their birth certificates.

that is quite right in has no value as ID for any civil purpose.

 

[Phemie]

that is quite right in has no value as ID for any civil purpose.

It has value if it’s accepted. It obviously has no value to get a passport or social security or anything at the federal level but it has value in that the provincial government will accept it for everything but a driver’s licence – mainly because we’re the ones responsible for registering births. Clergymen in our province are legislated to send in a “Return of birth” to Vital Statistics for every child they baptize (or ritually welcome into the Church for those denominations that don’t baptize) unless the parents have already done it themselves.

 

[DiZent]

Thanks for the replies. I do not know the “whole story”, since she is an acquaintance, but not a close friend. I was confirmed as an adult, about 10 months before getting married but not as part of the process, so the question never came up.