Confirmation resistance by parent

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Belllaboo

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My granddaughter will be ready to make her confirmation at her Catholic school in two years. Her mother, who has some mental and emotional issues, says she cannot do so. Only communion. At age 14 can my granddaughter choose for herself to do so? She is adamant that she will be making her confirmation.
 
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Unless there’s another sympathetic guardian involved such as her father I don’t believe she can get Confirmed. She’d have to wait until she’s 18.
 
What makes her willing to Holy Communion and not Confirmation?
 
Are you advising disobedience? We’re not supposed to advocate that if they’re a minor. If she’s has two parents they can hash it out.
 
I’m stating a fact of canon law— parental permission for a person age 14 is not reuqired for the sacrament of confirmation.

The girl should speak to her pastor, which I stated also.
 
This is what Grandpa and I said we will do with her. When it is time, she will tell her pastor that this is HER wish and how can anyone stop her from receiving a sacrament. Especially when the call on the parent is based on mental illness. We take the children to mass every Sunday. The parents have nothing to do with religion. It isn’t about disobedience…if the children did everything the parents suggested in this situation they would be lost.
 
Actually, she doesn’t have two “parents”. She has two people who are no more capable of raising children than a two year old. They are there but have no connection or mature value in the lives of the children.
 
I see a family feud here… I doubt she’ll be confirmed if there’s adamant refusal by her legal guardians. Local laws will dictate what is allowed. Regardless, there’s nothing we can do from here.
 
The old website had a rule against advising a minor to disobey a parent. I think that it a wise rule. The child should do what her parents desire until she is 18.
 
That rule should be re-emphasized! We’re not here to advocate family division and disobedience. Furthermore, we’re only receiving one side of the story.
 
Mi_Rose said:
The old website had a rule against advising a minor to disobey a parent. I think that it a wise rule. The child should do what her parents desire until she is 18.
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The current rule for this forum clearly says
Do not offer or solicit medical, psychiatric, or legal advice. Do not give advice that is contrary to civil law. Do not give advice to a minor that opposes the instruction of a parent or legal guardian. All such discussions should be directed to the proper authorities: parents, guardians, therapists, parish priests, or primary care providers.
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Belllaboo said:
This is what Grandpa and I said we will do with her. When it is time, she will tell her pastor that this is HER wish and how can anyone stop her from receiving a sacrament. Especially when the call on the parent is based on mental illness. We take the children to mass every Sunday. The parents have nothing to do with religion. It isn’t about disobedience…if the children did everything the parents suggested in this situation they would be lost.
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It seems that you truly have the best needs of your granddaughter at heart. I would not be concerned with disobedience of her parents in this situation. Your daughter must follow her conscience; in fact, if her conscience dictates that she should disobey her parents, the Church teaches that she must disobey her parents. Do not listen to those who would lead your daughter astray and turn her from the Church; they are succumbing to legalism, which Pope Francis has spoken out strongly against. A truly good priest would not be so rigid in his determination to allow your daughter the sacrament of Confirmation. Follow the advice to have her speak with her pastor; he will make the final determination. And if all else fails, there is always the last resort of “priest shopping” in the event that the pastor of her parish will not allow her to receive the sacrament. I pray that you are able to reach a positive solution in this matter.
 
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If the grandparents have custody they can do what they want. Otherwise it is up to the parents.
 
First, here is what the law says:
Can. 97 §1. A person who has completed the eighteenth year of age has reached majority; below this age, a person is a minor.
Can. 98 §1. A person who has reached majority has the full exercise of his or her rights.
§2. A minor, in the exercise of his or her rights, remains subject to the authority of parents or guardians except in those matters in which minors are exempted from their authority by divine law or canon law. In what pertains to the appointment of guardians and their authority, the prescripts of civil law are to be observed unless canon law provides otherwise or unless in certain cases the diocesan bishop, for a just cause, has decided to provide for the matter through the appointment of another guardian.
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The child is 14. Therefore, she is under the authority of her parents (by default) or her legal guardians.

If the grandparents are the legal guardians, then they can choose to allow her to be confirmed, even if the parent object.

If the grandparents are not legal guardians, then they cannot go against the wishes of the parents.

Members here need to be very careful. Giving advice that runs contrary to the wishes of the parents (or legal guardians) has the potential to bring about certain legal consequences under civil law; consequences which are better avoided.

This issue needs to be resolved by the canonical pastor of the place where the minor (or her legal guardians) resides. It may need to be referred to the local ordinary.

I am urging caution here. Remember that we live in an already over-litigious society.
 
FrDavid96 said:
Members here need to be very careful. Giving advice that runs contrary to the wishes of the parents (or legal guardians) has the potential to bring about certain legal consequences under civil law; consequences which are better avoided.

This issue needs to be resolved by the canonical pastor of the place where the minor (or her legal guardians) resides. It may need to be referred to the local ordinary.

I am urging caution here. Remember that we live in an already over-litigious society.
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Precisely, Father.
 
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