Confirmation Sponsor Questions

[tatripp]

Hello everyone. First off, I am new to the forum. I have been asked to be a confirmation sponsor by someone whom I have a lot of respect. I was very honored and proud when she asked me this. I was researching the sacrament of confirmation to have a meeting with her to make sure she understands what the sacrament is, but i came across some stuff that I didn’t know and I am very confused about them. Normally any time I have questions I can ask my brother who has a masters in Philosophy and a minor in Theology from The Franciscan University, but he is on a retreat at his seminary and he can’t use his phone for a while.

 The first thing I read that surprised me was that Confirmation creates a spiritual relationship between the confirmandi, the sponsor, and the confirmandi's parents. According to St. Thomas Aquinas's Suma you can't marry someone "if it [the spiritual relationship] precedes, it hinders the contracting of marriage and voids the contract."   ([sacred-texts.com/chr/aquinas/summa/sum601.htm](http://www.sacred-texts.com/chr/aquinas/summa/sum601.htm))

The thing is that I kind of have a crush on the girl who I agreed to sponsor and although I’m not planning on marrying her I think it may be a possibility that I would like to have.

Then i went on to read from another source that the requirements of a Confirmation sponsor are that are that the person must be a confirmed, the same gender, and it may not be a parent. (I can’t find the source anymore)

I have already been to one of the sponsor’s meetings at my church, and I realized that many of the sponsors are not of the same gender and many are the parents of the confirmandi. I think when i was getting confirmed they didn’t even require that the sponsor had been confirmed as long as they promised to guide them on their “spiritual journey” although i can’t completely remember. At the same church, i was already my younger female cousin’s confirmation sponsor.

So I guess i have three questions. Is it selfish to have doubts about being a sponsor if it impedes a possible marriage? what exactly are the requirements of confirmation? and is my cousin’s (who is of opposite gender than me) confirmation valid?

 

[Vince1022]

Hello everyone. First off, I am new to the forum. I have been asked to be a confirmation sponsor by someone whom I have a lot of respect. I was very honored and proud when she asked me this. I was researching the sacrament of confirmation to have a meeting with her to make sure she understands what the sacrament is, but i came across some stuff that I didn’t know and I am very confused about them. Normally any time I have questions I can ask my brother who has a masters in Philosophy and a minor in Theology from The Franciscan University, but he is on a retreat at his seminary and he can’t use his phone for a while.

 The first thing I read that surprised me was that Confirmation creates a spiritual relationship between the confirmandi, the sponsor, and the confirmandi's parents. According to St. Thomas Aquinas's Suma you can't marry someone "if it [the spiritual relationship] precedes, it hinders the contracting of marriage and voids the contract."   ([sacred-texts.com/chr/aquinas/summa/sum601.htm](http://www.sacred-texts.com/chr/aquinas/summa/sum601.htm))

The thing is that I kind of have a crush on the girl who I agreed to sponsor and although I’m not planning on marrying her I think it may be a possibility that I would like to have.

Then i went on to read from another source that the requirements of a Confirmation sponsor are that are that the person must be a confirmed, the same gender, and it may not be a parent. (I can’t find the source anymore)

I have already been to one of the sponsor’s meetings at my church, and I realized that many of the sponsors are not of the same gender and many are the parents of the confirmandi. I think when i was getting confirmed they didn’t even require that the sponsor had been confirmed as long as they promised to guide them on their “spiritual journey” although i can’t completely remember. At the same church, i was already my younger female cousin’s confirmation sponsor.

So I guess i have three questions. Is it selfish to have doubts about being a sponsor if it impedes a possible marriage? what exactly are the requirements of confirmation? and is my cousin’s (who is of opposite gender than me) confirmation valid?

You can be a sponsor regardless of your gender and regardless of whether you may in the future marry the confirmandi (assuming of course all other Church laws regarding marriage are adhered to…the point is, there’s nothing in the Rite of Confirmation about that).

Where you are being selfish or not is really a matter for your reflection, we can’t tell you that.

The requirements for confirmation are specified in Canon Law 979-896 vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P30.HTM

Hope this helps.

 

[Phemie]

You can be a sponsor regardless of your gender and regardless of whether you may in the future marry the confirmandi (assuming of course all other Church laws regarding marriage are adhered to…the point is, there’s nothing in the Rite of Confirmation about that).

Where you are being selfish or not is really a matter for your reflection, we can’t tell you that.

The requirements for confirmation are specified in Canon Law 979-896 vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P30.HTM

Hope this helps.

The information he stumbled upon was correct per the 1917 Code of Canon Law: a sponsor, either at baptism or confirmation, was deemed to have a spiritual bond and could not marry the person he/she was a sponsor for. That rule does not exist in the 1983 Code.

IIRC, the same goes for the rule on same gender sponsors. It’s not rare to read in old registers of one woman being the sponsor for all the female confirmandi and one man for all the males.

A sponsor MUST be fully initiated, having been baptized, confirmed and received Holy Communion.

 

[1ke]

So I guess i have three questions. Is it selfish to have doubts about being a sponsor if it impedes a possible marriage? what exactly are the requirements of confirmation? and is my cousin’s (who is of opposite gender than me) confirmation valid?

You need to start reading some sources that are current. Remember, these things are disciplines of canon law, not doctrine.

Therefore, you should look to the **current **code of canon law regarding the requirements of a sponsor.

Can. 892 Insofar as possible, there is to be a sponsor for the person to be confirmed; the sponsor is to take care that the confirmed person behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfills the obligations inherent in this sacrament.

Can. 893 §1. To perform the function of sponsor, a person must fulfill the conditions mentioned in ⇒ can. 874.

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.
§2. It is desirable to choose as sponsor the one who undertook the same function in baptism.

As you can see from the current canons, there is no restriction requiring the sponsor to be the same sex as the confirmand. Also, there is no impediment to marriage created by sponsoring a confirmand.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

. . .

As you can see from the current canons, there is no restriction requiring the sponsor to be the same sex as the confirmand. Also, there is no impediment to marriage created by sponsoring a confirmand.

Be aware that this is for the Western Church. The Eastern Churches have their own Law and may have more stringent restrictions.

 

[tatripp]

Thank you for all your great answers. They were all very good. Now i feel a lot more comfortable.

 

[Vince1022]

The information he stumbled upon was correct per the 1917 Code of Canon Law: a sponsor, either at baptism or confirmation, was deemed to have a spiritual bond and could not marry the person he/she was a sponsor for. That rule does not exist in the 1983 Code.

Good thing we only operate by current Church teaching, then.

 

[MissRose73]

I chose my Godmother as my confirmation sponsor.

My sister chose a Catholic friend’s mother for the same role.

I am a Sponsor/Godparent to my sister’s 2 kids (in addition to my aunt and uncle who served in same role) as they were received into the Church nearly 2 years ago for Baptism & Confirmation plus they made their First Communion too.

I would have no issue with a friend being a sponsor for another friend if they met the requirements in terms of age etc.

 

[tatripp]

What exactly are the impedients to marriage. Why does confirmation create an impediment when originally confirmations sponsors were supposed to be the same gender as the confirmandi