Confirmation sponsor

[asd72]

I signed a form yesterday at RCIA with Fr which stated both that I felt ready to join the Catholic Church and agreed with the teachings of the Church, and that I have a sponsor that is providing moral guidance (or something like that, I can’t remember the exact words).

The trouble is Fr gave me the name of my sponsor to write on the form. It is the lady who does most of the Altar serving and Lectionary readings. I don’t know her at all and Fr said she will taking me to the Rite of Election, and placing her hand on my shoulder at my confirmation as the extent of her involvement.

I knew I was lying when I signed it but it happened so quickly. My conscience has been bothering me ever since. I don’t want to start my Church journey by lying to the Bishop.

The only solution I can think of is asking Fr to destroy my statement if he hasn’t already sent it to the Bishop and trying to find another Parish that will accept me for RCIA this late.

Any suggestions?

 

[1ke]

I think you are seriously overreacting. Do you tend towards scrupulosity?

There is absolutely no reason to “destroy” the form or to leave your parish in search of another RCIA program.

In general, the sponsor should be involved with your journey. But their main function is to stand with you at confirmation. Many people have family members who are sponsors who live far away. If you want someone else as your sponsor, talk to the priest about it.

 

[asd72]

I’m not scrupulous. I thought that was feeling guilt when there was none.

But I have actually lied and said this person has been providing moral guidance, when in actual fact I don’t know her.

There are no other sponsors.

 

[1ke]

I’m not scrupulous. I thought that was feeling guilt when there was none.

But I have actually lied and said this person has been providing moral guidance, when in actual fact I don’t know her.

Well, talk to your priest about that. You said “or something like that” which made me think you didn’t really read what it said. Typically the forms ask about the sponsor’s practice of the faith. Is it possible it said something like that?

Go back to the priest and discuss your discomfort. It is an overreaction to leave the parish. Just talk to him.

 

[FAB]

I signed a form yesterday at RCIA with Fr which stated both that I felt ready to join the Catholic Church and agreed with the teachings of the Church, and that I have a sponsor that is providing moral guidance (or something like that, I can’t remember the exact words).

The trouble is Fr gave me the name of my sponsor to write on the form. It is the lady who does most of the Altar serving and Lectionary readings. I don’t know her at all and Fr said she will taking me to the Rite of Election, and placing her hand on my shoulder at my confirmation as the extent of her involvement.

I knew I was lying when I signed it but it happened so quickly. My conscience has been bothering me ever since. I don’t want to start my Church journey by lying to the Bishop.

The only solution I can think of is asking Fr to destroy my statement if he hasn’t already sent it to the Bishop and trying to find another Parish that will accept me for RCIA this late.

Any suggestions?

You have watched this woman in her faithfulness and service to the church. Often moral guidance is through example, perhaps not the personal conversation you are looking for. As your sponsor, she will be with you and available the rest of your life, take this chance now to know her and her you and move forward into you new life as a Catholic.
Peace,
Deacon FAB

 

[Joe_5859]

Yes, talk to the priest about it. There is no reason to leave the parish over this.

 

[Texas_Roofer]

I signed a form yesterday at RCIA with Fr which stated both that I felt ready to join the Catholic Church and agreed with the teachings of the Church, and that I have a sponsor that is providing moral guidance (or something like that, I can’t remember the exact words).

The trouble is Fr gave me the name of my sponsor to write on the form. It is the lady who does most of the Altar serving and Lectionary readings. I don’t know her at all and Fr said she will taking me to the Rite of Election, and placing her hand on my shoulder at my confirmation as the extent of her involvement.

I knew I was lying when I signed it but it happened so quickly. My conscience has been bothering me ever since. I don’t want to start my Church journey by lying to the Bishop.

The only solution I can think of is asking Fr to destroy my statement if he hasn’t already sent it to the Bishop and trying to find another Parish that will accept me for RCIA this late.

Any suggestions?

Signing does not require you to receive the sacraments, inform the Priest/RCIA leader you want more discernment and continue through the program. You can complete as much preparation as you would like well in excess of the parish requirments without taking any sacraments. FYI Many priests take a leave proir to being ordained to retink the whole process, some leaves last years!.

 

[Barbkw]

The trouble is Fr gave me the name of my sponsor to write on the form. It is the lady who does most of the Altar serving and Lectionary readings. I don’t know her at all and Fr said she will taking me to the Rite of Election, and placing her hand on my shoulder at my confirmation as the extent of her involvement.

I knew I was lying when I signed it but it happened so quickly. My conscience has been bothering me ever since. I don’t want to start my Church journey by lying to the Bishop.

Any suggestions?

Go up to this lady and introduce yourself as her candidate, ask if you can talk with her awhile about her faith journey over a cup of coffee.

 

[asd72]

Barb, I am bit nervous to do that. I think she must be employed by the Church because she does Altar service at all the Masses, although some others also help sometimes at Extraditionary Minister duties and Lectionary readings. And Fr did point out what her role would involve. I would feel like I was intruding. Perhaps I will get to know her when she takes me to the Rite of Election.

I think I will just let it go for now and discuss it with Fr when I next see him.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

 

[Leon_Bloy]

If that’s what the priest told you to fill out, don’t worry.

Perhaps the form is asking about the person “who *will *be” providing the moral guidance, etc. They need to know you actually have a suitable sponsor.

Simply explain your worry to the priest,and tell him you realize you might be overly concerned about it, and go with what he says.

I am surmising that you are probably being scrupulous. Did you seek to tell a lie? Or did you simply do what you were told to by the priest? Has the ultimate purpose of the form - which is to make sure everything is “on track” with your process - been satisfied truthfully as a whole? When the bishop actually sees the form, if he does so personally, won’t you have by that time talked to the person who will be your sponsor? Many people find their own sponsors, and so the Church wants to make sure that person is actually doing their job. A person who volunteers regularly at the altar and is somebody the priest would actually ask (as he has, you indicated) to be your sponsor (and to a stranger, too!) is clearly somebody that is going to be fulfilling the job the form is concerned about. And like another poster said, by watching her comportment at mass she has already been helping you learn about the faith, right?

So, then!

 

[Leon_Bloy]

Remember, sometimes the Evil One and his minions “whisper” doubts and scruples into the ears of our souls in order to discourage and depress us and throw us off track. Be on the watch for that. By coming into the Church as you are, you are foiling his plans. But… as the great saints have always said, including St. Teresa of Avila and St. John Vianney (the patron saint of parish priests), he is nothing to worry about and can’t really do anything to you if you don’t listen to him. Say your prayers, do your best, trust in God, and remember above all that Jesus loves you with an enormous, understanding, compassionate love, and he is with you, protecting and guiding you. You can’t commit a sin by “accident.” You were doing what the priest guided you to do. It’s a form. Questions are formulated sometimes in ways that can’t be met with a entirely, absolutely, correct “yes” or “no” answer. You didn’t tell a lie.

 

[SonCatcher]

asd72,

Perhaps you can ask your sponsor to meet with you over coffee so you can get to know her (and she to know you).

My mother was sponsored by a lady she barely knew but they managed to form a friendship that lasted while her sponsor lived.

 

[Joe_5859]

Perhaps the form is asking about the person “who *will *be” providing the moral guidance, etc. They need to know you actually have a suitable sponsor.

That’s an important point to keep in mind. A lot of people come into the Church without necessarily knowing any practicing Catholics and they end up with a sponsor they previously did not know. It would be tough to become Catholic if we made it a prerequisite that every catechumen had to have a close relationship with a solid, practicing Catholic before coming into the Church.

 

[Barbkw]

Barb, I am bit nervous to do that. I think she must be employed by the Church because she does Altar service at all the Masses, although some others also help sometimes at Extraditionary Minister duties and Lectionary readings. And Fr did point out what her role would involve. I would feel like I was intruding. Perhaps I will get to know her when she takes me to the Rite of Election.

I think I will just let it go for now and discuss it with Fr when I next see him.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

It’s just normal apprehension. Don’t let it stop you. Do something easier. Hand her a card with your phone number on it and tell her when she has a free lunch hour that you’d like to get together with her.

 

[asd72]

It’s just normal apprehension. Don’t let it stop you. Do something easier. Hand her a card with your phone number on it and tell her when she has a free lunch hour that you’d like to get together with her.

I think what I will do is suggest meeting up when we go to the Rite of Election next month. Apparently there is another Candidate who she is also sponsoring so we could arrange something with the 3 of us. I am happy to know someone else is also being Confirmed, I thought I was the only one because I see Fr alone.

 

[promethius]

Go up to this lady and introduce yourself as her candidate, ask if you can talk with her awhile about her faith journey over a cup of coffee.

This.

What an excellent opportunity to meet someone in your parish!