Confirmation sponsor

[pianoplayingmom]

I recently learned that my nephew has chosen his aunt (my sister) to be his sponsor. While she does go to Mass with her granddaughter most Sundays, she is living with a man who refused to apply for an annulment before they got married. Consequently, they were married with a Protestant minister officiating. So, the bottom line is she is committing adultery. My sister (nephew’s mother) admitted choosing her was a stretch but they were having a hard time coming up with sponsors who lived nearby. I am his godmother but I live 150 miles away. The Confirmation is in a month. Should I speak up or should I just leave it alone? I was planning to go to the Confirmation but now I’m wondering if I should. Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut you have on this!

 

[juno24]

If the only reason your Godson chose your sister to be his sponsor is that she lives close by, then certainly speak to the boy and his mother. You don’t have to be in close physical proximity to be a Confirmation sponsor. My own Goddaughter (my niece) was confirmed last year, I was her sponsor, and I live 900 miles away. I was there on the day of the Confirmation to act as her sponsor. I sent in the papers from my parish priest indicating that I was an active member of my parish ahead of time. I did not have to be there for anything prior to the actual Confirmation. It meant the world to me to be able to stand behind her when she approached the bishop, as I am sure it would to you to do so for your nephew. In either case, please be sure to attend the Confirmation; do not hold your hurt and disappointment against your nephew.

 

[pianoplayingmom]

Yes, I will go to the Confirmation. First, I’ll mention to my sister that she should speak to her pastor about the situation. Thanks for your reply!

 

[smswife]

Of course you should go in my opinion.

He will still be receiving the Sacrament even if his sponsor has issues. This in no way invalidates his Confirmation.

I will be sponsoring my Goddaughter for her Confirmation this week. I had to provide a letter from my Pastor stating that I was a Catholic in good standing. Apparently your nephew’s sponsor was not asked for such a letter, or her Pastor was not aware of the situation.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s your place to say anything more. The Bishop and those presenting your nephew for Confirmation are responsible for the situation. Just pray hard for them all.

 

[1ke]

she does not meet the canon law criteria to be a confirmation sponsor. It is appropriate, actually preferred, that the baptismal sponsor also be the confirmation sponsor.

Can.* 893 §1. To perform the function of sponsor, a person must fulfill the conditions mentioned in ⇒ can. 874.

§2. It is desirable to choose as sponsor the one who undertook the same function in baptism.

Can.* 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

 

[Chatter163]

Yes, I will go to the Confirmation. First, I’ll mention to my sister that she should speak to her pastor about the situation. Thanks for your reply!

As the godmother (baptismal sponsor), were you not even asked? You mention the 150-mile distance to the church as an obstacle, but then say that you will be there. I am confused.

 

[pianoplayingmom]

As the godmother (baptismal sponsor), were you not even asked? You mention the 150-mile distance to the church as an obstacle, but then say that you will be there. I am confused.

No, I wasn’t asked. My nephew’s mother told me they had asked our sister…She said something like, “I know—it’s a stretch but she IS going to Mass now.” It’s just all very sad for me because it goes along with things in our family that are ignored (like relatives living in sin before marriage or marrying outside the Church). And, actually, I didn’t realize it was preferred to have a godparent be the sponsor until I dug into it after our conversation about it. I thought that was forbidden. I’m not upset about not being asked. I’m upset that they chose someone who has basically chosen to do her own thing, regardless what the Church teaches. Scandal runs rampant in my family.

 

[pianoplayingmom]

Anyway, I don’t think it’s your place to say anything more. The Bishop and those presenting your nephew for Confirmation are responsible for the situation. Just pray hard for them all.

How would the bishop know if the pastor doesn’t even know?

 

[Kathryn_Ann]

she does not meet the canon law criteria to be a confirmation sponsor. It is appropriate, actually preferred, that the baptismal sponsor also be the confirmation sponsor.

Can.* 893 §1. To perform the function of sponsor, a person must fulfill the conditions mentioned in ⇒ can. 874.

§2. It is desirable to choose as sponsor the one who undertook the same function in baptism.

Can.* 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

Very important rules. I concur.
Kathryn Ann