Confirmation Sponsorship

[eljayeff]

I recently sponsored a man for his Confirmation. Recently, his behavior has become evil toward another person (not me) and he has begun acting in ways that are contrary to our beliefs and to a moral and ethical society. In my eyes, he is no longer fit to be a Confirmed Catholic. Whether he is fit to be Catholic is not mine to judge. But, I am no longer able to attest to this man’s moral character and Catholic fitness. Is there a formal way to rescind my sponsorship? Am I wrong for feeling this way?

 

[buc_fan33]

I recently sponsored a man for his Confirmation. Recently, his behavior has become evil toward another person (not me) and he has begun acting in ways that are contrary to our beliefs and to a moral and ethical society. In my eyes, he is no longer fit to be a Confirmed Catholic. Whether he is fit to be Catholic is not mine to judge. But, I am no longer able to attest to this man’s moral character and Catholic fitness. Is there a formal way to rescind my sponsorship? Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Is he already confirmed? You can’t “undue” Confirmation. None of us are worthy to receive the sacraments. But, we do have a “right” to them by virtue of our Baptism. we can’t earn the right to receive the sacraments. I think that, given the fact he obviously thinks highly of you, since he asked you to be his sponsor, you should challenge him as a brother in Christ. Challenge him that he needs to continue to conform his life to the Gospel call which he received at his Baptism and strengthened/will strengthen at his Confirmation. For a Biblical reference of what to do, see Matthew 18: 15 and following.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Is there a formal way to rescind my sponsorship? Am I wrong for feeling this way?

I think you’re asking the wrong question.

No, you can’t “un-sponsor” him. You were chosen for that role, you accepted, the man was confirmed and you were his sponsor.

However, now may be the time for you to ACT like a sponsor. Talk with him. Help him. Support him. And model Christ’s love for him.

 

[R_C]

As a sponsor, you have your own ministry to fulfill Confirmation, like Baptism, seals a Christian with an indelible mark. Perhaps you are afraid that he lost sanctifying grace and is in a state of mortal sin? That does not make him unfit to be a Catholic, rather, that simply means he is as every other fellow Catholic that sins, then with God’s grace repents and through Reconciliation receives grace again.

Repentance is the matter, here. While the Holy Spirit will try to enlighten him with his auxiliating grace, we know well that God wants our collaboration, He wants us to be lights in the world. As his sponsor, you are definitely one of the people at the top of His list for helping him to understand and repent. You hold a moral authority over Him. You know how to exercise it: being kind, like Jesus, and understanding; being open to understand his reasons - unless he has lost his mind, he must have good reasons, or believe he has them, to act that way - and then lead him to a deeper understanding of his faults.

If you see something that may constitute mortal sin, urge him to confession and let Christ work wonders in his soul. Perhaps he is unaware of his behavior being sinful…it may be evident to you, but passions do blind us…

Be patient and merciful…hate the sin and love the sinner…and realize that he needs help and love, regardless of whether he deserves it or not in your eyes.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

Pray for him and maybe have a mass said for him.