Confirmation: The Ignored Sacrament

[cardenio]

I was confirmed in seventh grade. Had some talks with my dad… went to a Catholic school, so we had to memorize an Act of Contrition and a Creed. Whatever else we did I cannot remember. But I do remember walking up the aisle, my sponsor saying “Father, may I present Teresa.” And I had no idea what was going on. At school they tried very hard to pretend that we could choose not to be confirmed if we felt we weren’t ready, but there really was no way out if you didn’t want to make a big fuss. There were several self-proclaimed atheists in our class who were confirmed.

The summer after eighth grade I got into a debate with my MS Lutheran cousin, and of course I had no idea what I was talking about. Confirmation (as a sacrament) was brought up. Since eighth grade I have done enough research so I don’t look like a clueless moron when we get into debates, but I still don’t know anything about Confirmation.

And what’s worse is I can’t find anything. I have plenty of books, and they all ignore Confirmation, except the Catechism, and the Catechism is not as in-depth as I need. It is a good place to start, but I’m done starting.

I’m a junior in high school now, and my sister is in eighth grade and will be confirmed in May. A few days ago, she asked me if I would be her sponsor. I was pleased that she had put more thought into her decision than I had, and of course felt honored that she’d asked me, and all that normal stuff… and I agreed…

But what the heck am I supposed to do? I don’t want her to go through it as cluelessly as I had to. But I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what Confirmation is, or why it is necessary.

What is the difference between Confirmation and Baptism? If Confirmation is a completion, it follows that Baptism is incomplete or insufficient, which I know is wrong. Everything I’ve heard makes it sound like baptism and confirmation are two parts to the same sacrament - which I know is also wrong.

I really need to talk to my dad about this - he knows pretty much everything - but I’m scared to let my sister know I have no idea what the heck a confirmation sponsor is supposed to do. Am I right to protect my sister from my own ignorance, or is it dishonest?

Am I too paranoid? Never mind; I already know the answer to that.

 

[JimG]

It may be a little too basic, but the Baltimore Catechism has a short piece on Confirmation here: truecatholic.org/baltp3.htm#Lesson25

And Fr. John Hardon has a good article which considers both Baptism and Confirmation together as sacraments of initiation here

Don’t worry. You’ll do fine.

 

[Priesttobe]

The difference between Confirmation and Baptism is that, when we are baptized our parents give consent for us to become Catholic, because we (in the case of most cradle Catholics) are only little babies and can not tell God that we want to be part of His Church. But in confirmation we freely state that we want to be a member of God’s one Church. This is our choice and only our’s, not our parents’ not our Bishop’s nor anyone else’s. Through confirmation we receive an indeleble mark on our souls (kind of a stamp showing our belonging to God). Talk to your dad. Ask him if you can go for a walk or a drive together. Get together more information and then you will not need to protect your sister from your ignorance.
Praying for you and your sister.

 

[YinYangMom]

cardenio:

Am I right to protect my sister from my own ignorance, or is it dishonest?

Am I too paranoid? Never mind; I already know the answer to that.

You’ll make a great sponsor for your sister because by going through the preparation with her you will have a deeper appreciation for the sacrament.

No, you don’t have to let your sister know now that you don’t have a clue what this is all about because by the time you present her to the bishop you’ll know what it is you’re doing and why. But you can start with the Director of Religious Education or whoever is leading the preparation program for your sister.

Ask him/her what is involved in being a sponsor, what should you be reading, thinking about so you’ll be a good sponsor to your sister. Then take that information to your dad and tell him you are really honored your sister wants you to be her sponsor, but you don’t want to mess it up so would he mind helping you make sense about what it is your sister might need from you. Share your experience/impressions of your confirmation with him and show him what the director gave you so that you can have a couple of discussions with him about the material.

My 17 year old son and his father go out to breakfast Sunday mornings after he delivers his papers. They started doing that when he was 16 because they were starting to drift apart and their personalities were clashing. It is their time to talk about anything that’s on either of their minds. That time together has helped my husband make the transition from seeing our son as the little boy he used to be to the young man that he is now. It has helped our son feel more secure in becoming that young man because he can ask any questions and trust he will get an honest response from his father without any clashes. Maybe you and your dad can try something like that. It doesn’t have to be breakfast or any meal, but basically you’d ask your dad to set aside a little time each week to help you figure out this confirmation thing - to make sense of it so you can be a good sponsor for your sister. I’m sure your dad would be pleased to know that you want his advice.

 

[tee_eff_em]

Priesttobe:

The difference between Confirmation and Baptism is that, when we are baptized our parents give consent for us to become Catholic, because we (in the case of most cradle Catholics) are only little babies and can not tell God that we want to be part of His Church. But in confirmation we freely state that we want to be a member of God’s one Church. This is our choice and only our’s, not our parents’ not our Bishop’s nor anyone else’s.

While that is the norm in the western rite, such is **not **the purpose or reason for confirmation. The eastern rites confirm (chrismate) and eucharize infants. Confirmation is an increase and a deepening of baptismal grace.

tee

 

[rwoehmke]

tee_eff_em:

While that is the norm in the western rite, such is **not **the purpose or reason for confirmation. The eastern rites confirm (chrismate) and eucharize infants. Confirmation is an increase and a deepening of baptismal grace.
tee

This is correct. In Baptism we are freed from original sin, become temples of the Holy Spirit and members of the Body of Christ. We also receive the Isaiah gifts of the Holy Spirit (See Isaiah 11). These gifts or virtues help us to hold and grow in our Faith and to live the life of priest, prophet, and king into which we have been initiated. In confirmation these gifts are strengthened and we receive individual gifts that fit us out to spread and stregthen the Faith in others. Paul’s epistles mention many of these gifts among which are divine assistance to be teachers, healers, prophets etc. in our Church Community. In both cases a special “seal” or mark is placed on the soul that marks us out as to who we are as followers of Christ and members of His body. In my opinion we have shifted the meaning of this sacrament since Vatican II to make it a “confirmation” of our acceptance of the Faith. Since in the early church and still in some of the other rites Baptism and Confirmation are done at the same time to infants, I think we have protestantized the meaning of this gift from God. I was confirmed in 4th grade which would be kind of early for the meaning that some try to attach to this sacrament today.

 

[cardenio]

I have been thinking of the sacrament of Confirmation as a sort of spiritual puberty, but I’ve always traced my spiritual growth back to that first debate with my cousin, which was more than a year after my confirmation.

A few of you have said that Confirmation is an increase in baptismal gifts. But don’t they increase or decrease based on how we use our free will? And also, all the sacraments increase baptismal grace - why not skip Confirmation and go to daily mass? What is it that makes Confirmation unique contrasted with all the other sacraments (as opposed to each sacrament in particular)?

JimG - Thank you. The Baltimore Catechism didn’t have much more than the CCC, but the other one is very helpful. The article refered to Confirmation as the most ignored sacrament, like I did… hey, great minds think alike, eh?

priesttobe - What about the eastern churches who give all three initiation sacraments to infants? And what about RCIA? - they are baptized and confirmed on the same evening.

YinYangMom - the religious ed at her school (my old school) is very very weak.

everyone - THANK YOU!!!

 

[the_phoenix]

Dear cardenio,

Here is another link you might like:

therealpresence.org/essentials/sacraments/acc35.htm

This web page on Confirmation helps explain how the sacrament grants us special graces to help us carry on our adult role as Catholics, in particular to “witness to Christ,” and “spread and defend the faith.”

~~ the phoenix

 

[YinYangMom]

Sorry to hear about the RE program at your sister’s school.

Over here, the sponsor goes through training with the candidate. They spend 4 hours a month (a Saturday morning) learning about what it means to be Catholic and the sponsor’s role is to share their faith journey with the candidate during that time. A lesson is reviewed and the sponsor shares what it means to them and why, thus the candidate gets to know the sponsor on a deeper more spiritual level (they’re already friends or family, but usually the contact with them up until that point has been through sports, movies, superficial topics). Trust is developed, the candidate is free to ask the sponsor any question at all about being Catholic or to express any concerns/doubts. By the end of the program (I think there are 6 sessions) when that sponsor stands beside the candidate to present him/her to the bishop it is a special moment for both of them, and the candidate knows he/she can call on this sponsor any time for the rest of their lives to talk about the faith some more.

As for what makes confirmation different than the rest of the sacraments, they serve different functions:

Baptism, Eucharist and Confirmation are called Sacraments of Initiation.

The CCC seems to make a distinction between baptism and confirmation in 1285 (emphasis mine):

**1285 **Baptism, the Eucharist, and the sacrament of Confirmation together constitute the “sacraments of Christian initiation,” whose unity must be safeguarded. It must be explained to the faithful that the reception of the sacrament of Confirmation is necessary for the completion of baptismal grace.89 For “by the sacrament of Confirmation, [the baptized] are more perfectly bound to the Church and are enriched with a special strength of the Holy Spirit. Hence they are, as true witnesses of Christ, more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith by word and deed.”

To me this says baptism is part 1 of 3 parts, confirmation being the 2nd, and the Eucharist completing initiation into Christ. All I can get from the emphasized part is that “special strength” is given through confirmation which is not available through baptism while it appears Eucharist is complete in and of itself.

Reconciliation and Annointing of the Sick are called Sacraments of healing.

Matrimony and Holy Orders are called Sacraments at the Service of Communion.

 

[YinYangMom]

Wow, thanks Phoenix, I stand corrected - or enlightened, really. That was the most distinct, clear explanation of confirmation I’ve ever come across!

 

[the_phoenix]

Hail and Well Met, YinYangMom,

… and you’re very welcome. * smiles an introductory greeting *

Another thing about Confirmation that I love remembering is how enthusiastic my Mom was about having my sister and I learn the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit:

**Wisdom

Understanding

Counsel

Fortitude

Knowledge

Piety

Fear of the Lord**

Mom had us memorize the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit, which really gave me something to look forward to right before Confirmation, when we would all receive the Holy Spirit in a special way!

~~ the phoenix

 

[cardenio]

the phoenix - thank you for the link. Confirmation, I take it, is (or could be called) the Sacrament of Evangelization… I don’t know… it gives you what you need to be a good witness to the faith, but only if you make use of it. Not that it dumps knowledge into your brain, but a desire for it…?

My dad used this analogy (that he’d heard somewhere): After Baptism, you are a glass of milk, and Confimation is chocolate dumped into you - but you can’t get a nice glass of chocolate milk unless you stir it.

Am I making any sense at all?

YinYangMom - That sounds like a wonderful program. My sponsor didn’t do anything except show up at Confirmation. I don’t think anybody’s did.

But I am still confused as to how daily mass wouldn’t suffice.

 

[YinYangMom]

cardenio:

…all the sacraments increase baptismal grace - why not skip Confirmation and go to daily mass? What is it that makes Confirmation unique contrasted with all the other sacraments (as opposed to each sacrament in particular)?

Ok, let’s give that last part a try, since we forgot to before…

I think you answered your own question with the stirring analogy and the evangelization posit…

while daily mass renews and replenishes grace for us through the sacrifice of the mass and reception of the Eucharist the sacrament of Confirmation confers an “added” grace…that ‘special strength’, remember which is not gained by any other means…it is THAT special grace which enables us to evangelize and defend the Church. Maybe not right away (thinking about infant baptism/confirmation and/or the 4th grade type) but it’s there to be unleashed at the appropriate time (God’s time).

Mine didn’t kick in until my kids hit puberty, and it was only because of Relevant Radio - flipping through stations in the car one day and stumbling across the Drew Mariani show. I was confirmed in 8th grade…that was a loooooong quiet spell, don’t you think? But once my soul was tapped, man, it’s been in first gear and there’s no stopping it. It’s awesome.

I think yours is already kicking in, and for that I am sooooo pleased. I have so much hope for the future of this world because of young people like you and my son and daughter - and many other young, active, spiritual catholics I’m meeting. Go hug your parents because they did a superb job raising you in the faith even though you don’t ‘get it’ all right now, you get a lot more than many of us did at your age so be at peace.

 

[rwoehmke]

the phoenix - thank you for the link. Confirmation, I take it, is (or could be called) the Sacrament of Evangelization… I don’t know… it gives you what you need to be a good witness to the faith, but only if you make use of it. But I am still confused as to how daily mass wouldn’t suffice.

Phoenix listed the Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit which I mentioned above as being the Isaiah gifts listed in Isaiah 11. Daily Mass certainly continues to bring one into an increasingly intimate sharing in the life of the Trinity (Sanctifying Grace) and it also increases the unity which we have with the Mystical Body of Christ (all Baptized persons on earth, in purgatory, or in heaven.) It does not however have the “special” increases in the gifts that fit us out for evangelization, nor does it place on our souls that special seal or mark which is a part of Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy orders. The three marks are different and permanent and for that reason these Sacraments are received only once in a lifetime. I suppose to carry the food analogy further, one could say going to daily Mass is like having a piece of apple pie everyday with close friends, but declining to accept the slice of cheddar cheese or scoop of icecream that comes with it at no extra cost. I know that the Mass is much more than joining with friends at the table, but then all analogies limp to a greater or lesser extent.

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I like the “no extra cost”. Try this one: Baptism like getting the basic car- and Confirmation is the options such as power windows and a/c that are thrown in, no extra cost.

I agree that the textbook Latin Rite answer about consent is off the mark. It is not a matter of our consent to what happened to us as infants, if we were baptized then. It is the bishop’s consent, his ratification, of our baptism. In the place of the bishop, the bishop has been known to give faculties to Latin Rite priests to confirm converts. Eastern Rite babies are chrismated, which is Confirmation. And I am sure very few of them consent to be chrismated after all that immersion and water and other oil.

 

[cardenio]

YinYangMom - I guess I hadn’t thought of it not “kicking in” for a while. I have a thinker-Catholic friend who has not been confirmed. He’s my age. I made him read Mere Christianity over the summer, and he freaked out, then refused to let it have any effect on him. When I read it, I freaked out and channeled what Lewis had said into… well, it completely turned my life around.

I thought of that immediately when I read what you wrote, and I wondered if our confirmational status had anything to do with our reactions?

rwoehmke - Different graces in the Eucharist than in Confirmation, and the list that phoenix gave (and I recall memorizing at one point) basically summarizes the Confirmation graces, which are permanant… is that right? Then why do the Eucharistic graces keep fading? Makes me think: weak.

OutinChgoburbs - Hmm, I like the “no extra cost” analogy. I’ll also throw in that the bishop didn’t come to my confirmation.

 

[YinYangMom]

cardenio:

I wondered if our confirmational status had anything to do with our reactions?

God only knows

why do the Eucharistic graces keep fading? Makes me think: weak.

I’d never considered communion as having a ‘fading’ quality to it. I suppose the sins we commit would take its toll on the permanent graces of baptism and confirmation just as well as it does communion.

But the Eucharist is a gift Christ gave us we can access daily to replenish, I suppose, the graces of baptism and confirmation. We only get those once…and since there are many, many confirmed Catholics falling away from the Church it seems obvious that the strength of those graces do not remain constant in the face of a lack of discipline on the person.

If one prays everyday and receives communion everyday and avails themselves of reconciliation on a weekly or monthly basis it seems the baptismal/confirmational graces remain ‘strong’. If they stop going to mass, stop receiving the eucharist, stop going to confession, that’s a lot of sinning and it seems those sins bog down those graces, dimming them. But the graces themselves are of the same intensity as they were when conferred, it’s just that all the sinning has left a thick layer of dust on the light so that it’s brightness cannot shine through???

**

I’ll also throw in that the bishop didn’t come to my confirmation.**

Wow, that’s a disappointment. Who conferred the graces to you then?

 

[the_phoenix]

cardenio:

Different graces in the Eucharist than in Confirmation, and the list that phoenix gave (and I recall memorizing at one point) basically summarizes the Confirmation graces, which are permanant… is that right? Then why do the Eucharistic graces keep fading? Makes me think: weak.

Dear Cardenio,

You remind me of what Sister Monica always says at her Wednesday night healing service, “Seven days without prayer makes one weak.” The pun being on week / weak, of course!

As for Eucharistic graces fading, I would say that just as we need to keep eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner on a regular basis to stay physically healthy, so too should we consume the Eucharist on a regular basis to stay spiritually healthy. It is we who are weak, not the graces.

As for Confirmation graces, I would consider them gifts rather like talents are gifts. Each of us is free to develop the talents / graces we are given for the greater glory of God. I would surmise that if you were to receive the gift of knowledge, you would receive the desire for it that you mentioned in your post to me, and on top of that, gaining knowledge would come easier to you and once learned, would be easier for you to remember.

Thank you for starting this wonderfully philosophically deep thread, cardenio!

• waves a cordial greeting to rwoehmke and all other thread participants *

~~ the phoenix

 

[rwoehmke]

Cardeno the graces of the eucharist do not fade. Grace is a sharing in the very life of God, the life of the trinity, a life which is pure love. The increasing share in this life, or increases in grace if you will, are bringing about a relationship between you and the trinity. The more you pray, receive the sacraments, study scripture the more intimate that relationship becomes. In some ways it is similar to human relationships. When a boy and girl date, spend time together, marry and share their lives with each other and any chidren they have their relationship grows and becomes increasingly intimate, That is one reson the Church places so much value on marriage; because it mirrors the relationship that Christ has with His Church, which is us. Oviously how we choose to live can damage our relationship with God in that despite His love and care for us we can turn away. We can refuse grace. God is infinite so their is no end to how strong that intimacy may grow if we but love Him in return and make use of all that He provides to us through His Church…

 

[cardenio]

YinYangMom:

Wow, that’s a disappointment. Who conferred the graces to you then?

The priest at St. Pius X, a church near mine. Not an SSPX church, by the way - my godfather is a deacon there. I believe he (the priest) is the… diocesan vicar? is that what they’re called? Anyway, he wasn’t “father” but “monsignor” (and I looked that up, so I know it’s spelled right).
the phoenix:

You remind me of what Sister Monica always says at her Wednesday night healing service, “Seven days without prayer makes one weak.” The pun being on week / weak, of course!

Yay puns! Actually, I’ve seen the same slogan on Halo Burger’s paper cups: “seven days without a Halo Burger makes one weak!” But you can’t get Halo Burger outside my city, so never mind…

I like comparing the Eucharist to a meal. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before; it should have been obvious. But anyway, it makes sense now.

As for your Confirmation/talent analogy, I’m not sure I quite understand it. Learning is more of a mental action than a spiritual action, yes? Or am I just confusing myself?

Thank you for starting this wonderfully philosophically deep thread, cardenio!

Thank you for helping to heal my paranoia!

rwoehmke - I shall have to ponder your words and reply later; my brain has gone fuzzy.