Conflict between parishioners

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well then be strong and firm and march in to church as youve been doing . I bet the priest would want you there with your child always.
 
maybe you need to practice at home.

You right you should never be told not to attend church, you have a God given right to be there.

But maybe practice at home. Service is what an hour, hour and a half. Make your child sit somewhere at home for that amount of time, like on the sofa, or put chairs together as if you’re sitting in church. Figure out a way for him to learn to sit still, come up with different ideas that keep him quiet, like something he can do quietly, if not coloring, maybe a video game or a movie, or maybe a snack… there has to be something, that will keep him occupied. Maybe you’re older child can help, make it a type of game… trying to come up with something you can do in church.

If you practice at home you can then teach him what happens if he doesn’t behave with a punishment you can give to a 2 year old. He’ll learn…

If you practice everyday for 6 days, God willing by day 7 you’ll have a plan for church.

He’s 2, isn’t there a reason parent call them Terrible Two’s… he’s testing you, and his boundaries.
 
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Well, I think I should think of all the options I can use to take him more quiet.

I know there is no perfect solution (I think a movie will work, but i will not intoxicate with that, and i have nothing to watch a movie anyway!)

I know what some people think, so it would be more difficult to feel well, but I need to improove.

Thanks you to remind me of the terrible two. He is not yet two, but becoming terrible! I am afraid of not succeed with him and it will end badly. I need to be convince that I can do it, alone or with help.
 
The benefit of having an entire family come to mass outweighs the noise that children can sometimes make.

We should encourage this, but at the same time OP maybe sit towards the back and take your child out into the hall if on occasion he becomes very noisy.
 
about the idea of ‘sitting in back’.

First, sitting in back means the child is not going to be able to see much of what is going on.

Second, a lot of time people who sit in back are themselves more introverted, or older, less mobile, etc. IOW, they’re often the kind of people who would be more irritated or more upset with a child moving around, making noise, etc.

Third, while it takes a bit more time to walk from the front pews to the back door, most churches have side entrances/exits or even side front entrances/exits so that a person can get as quickly to the outside from the front as they could from a back pew to the ‘back door’.
 
thanks you.

I agree with the back.

but in our church we are on the front. There is a special place for children, and they are the only little children. I don’t see myself deprive my oldest from that confort.
With covid rules we are excepted to be there, as it would pose more sanitary problems in another place and maybe more noise such as child kicking on the benches.

I also agree with going outside. With two parents, it’s easy managable. Yet alone, it is not practical to let one child in and going with the other out. It is not practical with covid because it means touching the now closed doors (because of the cold weather).
 
thanks you for your ideas of the back. I would not have think that by going to the back we can annoyed more some people!

I definitely agree that I avoid as I can the back until two weeks ago. The doors stayed wide open to avoid the unclean contact (COVID…) so It was not safe to go to back. A child is quicky outside in the road with all the risks for his life…
 
Just do what they do in the southern US. Just say “Bless your heart” and smile. You have every right to be there. Do what you can, but you don’t have to leave!
 
Does your church have a cry room? If so, just take your little toddler in there. He can move around all he wants, be noisy, and he won’t disturb the rest of the congregation. Parishioners have a right to be able to celebrate Mass without disruptions, and that includes being able to hear the priest’s homily. A lot of the elderly parishioners may be hard of hearing and have to sit up front in order to catch everything that is being said.

It’s a simple matter of common courtesy.

People who find disruptive kids frustrating and annoying, and parents who won’t do anything about it, may naturally be inclined to say something. That’s to be expected.

Nobody has the right to tell you you can’t attend Mass, but parents don’t have the right to let their kids disrupt services, either.

So, if your church has a cry room, your best solution would be to use it.
 
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Anicette said:
Thanks you to remind me of the terrible two. He is not yet two, but becoming terrible! I am afraid of not succeed with him and it will end badly. I need to be convince that I can do it, alone or with help.
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Never forget to pray to God and Mother Mary for assistance in this matter. With help and guidance from God and Mother Mary, you can accomplish anything, including helping your son behave in a more appropriate manner at church.
 
It’s so difficult at this age! Somehow I was fortunate with my toddler boy, and he often fell asleep at Mass. But then he would snore so loudly everyone could hear him! 🤣 And he was heavy to hold onto!

Is it possible you could offer him a little reward when he is good? I think a lot of American children are rewarded with doughnuts on Sunday mornings! (And Canadians too probably).
Explain to him if he is quiet and a good boy at Mass he can have a little treat afterwards. Then if he misbehaves at Mass, you can look at him in a surprised way and whisper “did you forget about the little treat?”
I think he will figure it out! Of course the little treat doesn’t have to be food, it could be a special trip to the park or something.

I wish parents with little children could go in the balcony. Then the kids can see and move around a little, without disturbing anyone (unless the choir is up there of course!). Is there any chance your priest could let you go up to the choir loft, if there is one?
 
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Anicette said:
certainely it is a much more Christian conduct than how I react!

I shoud do better!
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Dont be too hard on yourself. That your are attending to the faith needs of your family by going to mass regularly is to be commended. You do not have to stop attending mass because of other parishioners.

I am one who sometimes is distracted by a difficult child at mass. When this happens, I say a prayer for the child to calm down and witness Gods answer to prayer 🙂 . Would’nt it be nice if parishioners rather than find fault with the child/parent - say an extra prayer for these wonderful children and their faithful parents.

God Bless
 
JanR said:
Does your church have a cry room?
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@Anicette and I both live in France. (She is actually French, while I am not. 😉)

In my twenty years of attending Mass in France, I have not seen a single church with a cry room. The only French people I’ve met who even knew what a cry room is had spent some time living in the US.

I don’t think the idea of a cry room is a thing here. At the same time, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve heard people complain about the behavior of children at Mass. Don’t get me wrong—French children do misbehave in church. I’ve just met very few people who aired their grievances about noisy, boisterous children out loud, and no one who was brazen enough to go after the parents about it. I’m so sorry this happened to Anicette. I don’t have any advice to give, but if the parents have apologized for the disruption and are taking whatever measures they can to keep their children calm during Mass then there isn’t really anything else that can be done.

I understand that a child that young doesn’t have to be at Mass, but I hesitate to discourage any parent from bringing his/her young children to Mass. Certainly, no parishioner should be telling others not to come to Mass. If a parishioner said this to me, I would be talking to my pastor about it ASAP—not to confirm that I’m welcome at Mass because I already know that I am, but to make sure he’s aware someone is talking to fellow parishioners like this.
 
mary77 said:
we always had rooms in the back with see through windows for moms with small children, maybe you can create such a setting for yourself and other moms.
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@Anicette is from France, if I recall rightly. I’m French too and I’ve never seen a “cry room” there - in fact I had no idea they existed before CAF.

Most churches are historical buildings, or at least were built before the separation of Church and state in 1905 - so even if the parish was willing to, putting in a cry room would probably either be vetoed by the Historical Monuments’ architects, or would have to be approved by the city council who is responsible for the maintenance of the church, if it was built before the law was passed.

@Anicette, I would also talk to your pastor and not worry too much. Personally, when kids get noisy in church, I think of Psalm 8 : “Jusqu’aux cieux, ta splendeur est chantée par la bouche des enfants, des tout-petits : rempart que tu opposes à l’adversaire, où l’ennemi se brise en sa révolte.”
 
Well pointed, @UpUpAndAway and @OddBird. We don’t have a “cry room”.

I have never seen a church that have something like that, but know one who has a daycare.

We have an old church and we only have the cult place, the entry and the sacristy.
we have a balcony but only for the organ, and anyway it is not safe to be with a mooving child who don’t realize it to a balcon where he can fall if we don’t always hold him.

It is not practical to go in and out in this sanitary period and weather.
 
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