Conflicted feelings

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Dneil15

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Hi!
Lately I have been struggling with some things… I know that something I did was a sin, but I don’t necessarily regret doing it because it meant a lot to me, and it still does, but I know I cannot receive communion in the state of sin. I want to go to confession, but I know the confession will be invalid if I am not truly sorry for my sins… but here is my problem. I do not regret what I did, therefore I am not truly sorry… Help!
 
Think of how your sin effected Jesus.
For example - if the scourging at the pillar had to do with the sins of the flesh… Can we really say… Lusting after someone…totally worth it?
 
If you’re not sorry about it but know you should… Consider praying to feel sorry. Read Isaiah 53 and speak to a priest. 💖
 
What do you mean you don’t regret it? You think it wasn’t wrong and you would willingly do it again?

Or do you mean you know it was wrong and wouldn’t do it again but don’t feel sorry emotionally?
 
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Dneil15 said:
Hi!
Lately I have been struggling with some things… I know that something I did was a sin, but I don’t necessarily regret doing it because it meant a lot to me, and it still does, but I know I cannot receive communion in the state of sin. I want to go to confession, but I know the confession will be invalid if I am not truly sorry for my sins… but here is my problem. I do not regret what I did, therefore I am not truly sorry… Help!
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Catechism of the Catholic Church
1453 The contrition called “imperfect” (or “attrition”) is also a gift of God, a prompting of the Holy Spirit. It is born of the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation and the other penalties threatening the sinner (contrition of fear). Such a stirring of conscience can initiate an interior process which, under the prompting of grace, will be brought to completion by sacramental absolution. By itself however, imperfect contrition cannot obtain the forgiveness of grave sins, but it disposes one to obtain forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance.52
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1472 … Grave sin deprives us of communion with God and therefore makes us incapable of eternal life, the privation of which is called the “eternal punishment” of sin. On the other hand every sin, even venial, entails an unhealthy attachment to creatures, which must be purified either here on earth, or after death in the state called Purgatory. …
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Guest1 said:
Consider praying to feel sorry.
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Yes, this. You obviously know what you did was a sin. You need to pray that you accept that it is a sin and feel sorry for it.

Is it possible that you do not clearly understand why it is a sin? Sometimes, once we know why it offends God, and not just that it does offend him, we can resolve to to not commit that sin, and feel badly for having done it in the past.
 
First of all, feelings don’t matter. You must know that what you did was wrong and be committed to not doing it again. I have at least one sin in my past that, in one very real sense I do not regret. This is because God can bring good out of anything, even out if evil, and in this instance a great good resulted from the sin. But I know it was wrong, and I long ago confessed it and moved on.
Regret is a feeling. I am sorry for having sinned against God. I am thankful that in God’s goodness, He brought good out of my sin.
 
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Spend some time before the Blessed Sacrament if you possibly can and ask God to tell you why what you did is a sin and why you ought to confess it and why you don’t regret it. Would you do it again? What do you think God likes or doesn’t like about this particular thing you did? What could/should you have done differently? If you have children do you want them to do this? In other words meditate on it. Really think and chat to God about it and he will bring you to some conclusions about it. Ask him to help you and as others have said, ask him for true contrition. God bless
 
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I’ll give you a very personal answer. Our son was conceived outside of marriage. The love and the thanks to God I have for my son, for the man he has grown to be, cannot be put into words.

At the same time, I regret having offended God, whom I love above all others.

My deep sorrow and regret for the sin does not in any way impact what my son means to me.

Spend time thinking about your love for God. Do you love Him more than the sin? Ask for God to increase your love for Him.

Also remember, most every sin is pleasure, it feels good, or people would not ever sin. As you mature in the Faith, you will find it easier to resist sin because you love God more than you love that moment of pleasure.
 
Thank you.
I really appreciate you’re answer. It made sense in my mind!
 
Thank you.
And you’re right, in this case feelings shouldn’t matter.
 
You don´t need to feel sorry. It´s great if we feel sorry, but it´s far from required. You need to recognize that it was a sin, that you need forgiveness & desire to try not to commit that sin again.

We split between imperfect and perfect contrition. Imperfect contrition is when you´re seeking forgiveness because of fear for eternal damnation, while perfect contrition is when you´re seeking forgiveness out of love for God. Both is sufficient.

Basically, if there´s even a really really small part of you that desires to be forgiven by God - then that is sufficient contrition.
 
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Thank you for this answer, this is honesty what I needed to hear.
Thanks!
 
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