Conflicted - niece abandoned church, seems happy

[PleasinChrist]

I’ll keep it short. My 24-year-old niece is marrying a non-Catholic Christian boy in the fall. He goes to a non-denominational church called “The Powerhouse.” He’s very nice, smart and will be a good husband. But she’s been going to his church for a year and that’s where they are marrying. She was raised in a Catholic home and went to Catholic schools. Her older sister married in the Catholic Church last year.

I asked her why she left the Church for “The Powerhouse” and she said it’s such an awesome community of people and that she feels like family there. And she says she leaves their services feeling full of the spirit. She’s made lots of friends who are also followers of Christ. She said that the testimonies move her in a way that Mass never did. She said she feels free to worship Jesus more than ever. She said her relationship with Christ is stronger than ever and that the sense of community is very strong at “The Powerhouse” and that she feels a real personal connection to the pastor.

And that all seems good, right? But I can’t help but feel sad that she’s left the Church. I am afraid for her and what she’s abandoned. And yet, I am glad she’s got a really strong relationship with the Lord. I just don’t know how to approach this. Yes, I’m glad she’s happy and building her faith. And yes, I’m sad that she did not find that within the Catholic Church. I do not think “The Powerhouse” has the fullness of truth, and yet she thinks it does. I want to tell her that feeling happy and fulfilled and making friends are not “what it’s about” but I don’t want to crush her spirit or her zeal for Christ. Also, her husband is what he is.

Thanks in advance for your honest opinions~!

 

[phoooiee]

I think that while the Protestant churches do not have the fullness of truth, they do possess portions of the truth in varying degrees- and many can be more effective at bringing the portions they possess to others than the Catholic Church is (in certain situations).

In other words- while the Catholic Church possesses the fullness of truth, sometimes there is a “disconnect” between what the Church teaches and what actually reaches the faithful, for whatever reason.

If she is truly finding a greater zeal for Christ, then over time this can only bring her back to Catholicism (as long as she continues to follow this path.)

 

[Edmundus1581]

My children are in their mid-20’s and haven’t practiced their Catholic faith in any way for about 7 years. I don’t know how I’d feel if one of them were to join a Protestant community such as the one you describe - whether I’d be happy that some faith is better than no faith, or sad at them not returning to the Catholic church. I’d definitely be happy with them marrying a good Protestant rather than a non-Christian.

So, that is my question - did your niece fall away from the Catholic church first, before finding this community, or has she simply moved from one to the other? I can see more good in this if it’s the former, rather than the latter.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

I’ll keep it short. My 24-year-old niece is marrying a non-Catholic Christian boy in the fall. He goes to a non-denominational church called “The Powerhouse.” He’s very nice, smart and will be a good husband. But she’s been going to his church for a year and that’s where they are marrying. She was raised in a Catholic home and went to Catholic schools. Her older sister married in the Catholic Church last year.

I asked her why she left the Church for “The Powerhouse” and she said it’s such an awesome community of people and that she feels like family there. And she says she leaves their services feeling full of the spirit. She’s made lots of friends who are also followers of Christ. She said that the testimonies move her in a way that Mass never did. She said she feels free to worship Jesus more than ever. She said her relationship with Christ is stronger than ever and that the sense of community is very strong at “The Powerhouse” and that she feels a real personal connection to the pastor.

And that all seems good, right? But I can’t help but feel sad that she’s left the Church. I am afraid for her and what she’s abandoned. And yet, I am glad she’s got a really strong relationship with the Lord. I just don’t know how to approach this. Yes, I’m glad she’s happy and building her faith. And yes, I’m sad that she did not find that within the Catholic Church. I do not think “The Powerhouse” has the fullness of truth, and yet she thinks it does. I want to tell her that feeling happy and fulfilled and making friends are not “what it’s about” but I don’t want to crush her spirit or her zeal for Christ. Also, her husband is what he is.

Thanks in advance for your honest opinions~!

What does she say about the Eucharist? She’s leaving Jesus on the altar. I would find it so sad to have anyone I love walk away from Jesus that way. Just for a human connection with people who don’t know the Truth. Pray for her. People don’t know how to have a relationship with Christ without entertainment these days. It makes me sad.

 

[HelenRose]

Have faith in God and have faith in her.

Recognize that she is on a journey. Her journey with God. Trust both of them. Sometimes it is necessary for a person to walk down roads that twist and turn and come to an end. It is there that she will find her way back.

Let your love bring her back. Love them to pieces. I have begun to ask St. Gabriel the Archangel to speak to my children. I know that my words can’t reach them but St. Gabriel’s words will. I trust my children enough to know that when they really see the truth they will listen.

I ask St. Raphael the Archangel to walk with them. I ask St. Michael the Archangel to protect them.

I also talk, on a fairly often basis, with the guardian angels of my loved ones. I thank their guardian angels for the help they give. Because I know that they know my loved ones better than I do, I ask their guardian angels to teach me how to reach them.

Every letter or e-mail I send to them I close with this prayer. “May the wings of your guardian angel surround and comfort you.”

They don’t object to that and it serves to remind them of my own belief in God and all that the Catholic Church stands for.

 

[PleasinChrist]

What does she say about the Eucharist? She’s leaving Jesus on the altar. I would find it so sad to have anyone I love walk away from Jesus that way. Just for a human connection with people who don’t know the Truth. Pray for her. People don’t know how to have a relationship with Christ without entertainment these days. It makes me sad.

I need to ask her what she thinks about the Eucharist. I assume she believes that bread and wine cannot be literally turned into the body and blood of Christ by a priest, as that tends to be the Protestant viewpoint.

I find this so, so sad too. Especially because she is my God-daughter. I was her confirmation sponsor! I should have done a better job helping her maintain her Catholicism. Now that she’s had a taste of “The Powerhouse” - it is hard to convince her to consider a return to The Church. She, rightly, is concerned about having a one-faith household and feels at home in her new faith.

What can I say when she lists all the positives of The Powerhouse (great music, enthusiastic worship, passionate testimonies, fellowship/friendship, a feeling of joy and peace at the liturgies, etc. etc.) How can I counter that? “I know you like it there, and it feels great to be in a room with good music and bunch of enthusiasm… But that’s not the way God wants us to worship?” Honestly at a loss here.

The worst part is that when I told her she could not ever really leave The Church, she said she didn’t believe that because she didn’t think The Catholic Church had any special authority.

 

[BettyBoop416]

I was her confirmation sponsor! I should have done a better job helping her maintain her Catholicism.

Please don’t beat yourself up over this. I’m sure you did the best you could. She simply found another religious community where she feels more “at home.” I doubt you could have done anything about it.

The worst part is that when I told her she could not ever really leave The Church…

I have to admit, this is an argument that has never made much sense to me. When someone leaves, the Church may still “claim them,” but the reality of the situation is that they are, in fact, gone. As someone who does not recognize the authority of the Church, I suspect your niece found this to be a rather hollow claim.

 

[EasterJoy]

I need to ask her what she thinks about the Eucharist. I assume she believes that bread and wine cannot be literally turned into the body and blood of Christ by a priest, as that tends to be the Protestant viewpoint.

Get the Catholic Answers pamphlets about this, so when you pull out John 6, you can have a good conversation with her about this. You do not need to convert her back in a day, but rather just water those seeds of truth in her.

Actually, I’d highly encourage you to read and read those Catholic Answers pamphlets. Those encapsulate so much experience and skill in charitably and knowledgeably handling the most common Protestant misconceptions about the Christian faith!!

 

[EasterJoy]

I have to admit, this is an argument that has never made much sense to me. When someone leaves, the Church may still “claim them,” but the reality of the situation is that they are, in fact, gone. As someone who does not recognize the authority of the Church, I suspect your niece found this to be a rather hollow claim.

You mean that the Catholic Church is the ultimate Hotel California? I don’t think of it as an argument. I think it is a way of encouraging Catholics we aren’t seeing at home to realize that the door for their return is always open. You could say we “never give away their bedroom”, but always have their place ready and waiting. More to the point, we will always feel that empty spot until they do return. No matter how far away, we always see that they are *still *in the family.

 

[Lamentation]

…What can I say when she lists all the positives of The Powerhouse (great music, enthusiastic worship, passionate testimonies, fellowship/friendship, a feeling of joy and peace at the liturgies, etc. etc.) How can I counter that? “I know you like it there, and it feels great to be in a room with good music and bunch of enthusiasm… But that’s not the way God wants us to worship?” Honestly at a loss here

Dunno why this is an issue… You’ll find that parishes with a large non-European contingent often have much more energy in their mass services. Just recently, we had their choir come to our campus in tandem with a very spirited Vincentian priest (Fr. Sylvester Peterka, if you’d like to search on YouTube). While certain parts of the mass resembled the church scene from the Blues Brothers, it was still very reverent and mindful of the Sacrifice of the Mass.

Roman Catholic does not always mean boring.

 

[mskejj]

I’ll keep it short. My 24-year-old niece is marrying a non-Catholic Christian boy in the fall. He goes to a non-denominational church called “The Powerhouse.” He’s very nice, smart and will be a good husband. But she’s been going to his church for a year and that’s where they are marrying. She was raised in a Catholic home and went to Catholic schools. Her older sister married in the Catholic Church last year.

I asked her why she left the Church for “The Powerhouse” and she said it’s such an awesome community of people and that she feels like family there. And she says she leaves their services feeling full of the spirit. She’s made lots of friends who are also followers of Christ. She said that the testimonies move her in a way that Mass never did. She said she feels free to worship Jesus more than ever. She said her relationship with Christ is stronger than ever and that the sense of community is very strong at “The Powerhouse” and that she feels a real personal connection to the pastor.

And that all seems good, right? But I can’t help but feel sad that she’s left the Church. I am afraid for her and what she’s abandoned. And yet, I am glad she’s got a really strong relationship with the Lord. I just don’t know how to approach this. Yes, I’m glad she’s happy and building her faith. And yes, I’m sad that she did not find that within the Catholic Church. I do not think “The Powerhouse” has the fullness of truth, and yet she thinks it does. I want to tell her that feeling happy and fulfilled and making friends are not “what it’s about” but I don’t want to crush her spirit or her zeal for Christ. Also, her husband is what he is.

Thanks in advance for your honest opinions~!

I wish she would take the Great Adventure Bible Study with Jeff Cavins…it would help her understand so much about the Catholic Church. He was a Catholic who left and became a Protestant pastor and then returned to the Catholic Church. He sounds like your niece. Fell in love with an evangelical bible believing girl who really introduced him to reading scripture and fell in love with Jesus. His book A Rebel Returns to the CAtholic Church would be good for her as well as his tape and book “I’m Not Being Fed”. Something to consider…for her to think about…

 

[BettyBoop416]

You mean that the Catholic Church is the ultimate Hotel California?

Or maybe being baptized is like being assimilated into the Borg.

• I think it is a way of encouraging Catholics we aren’t seeing at home to realize that the door for their return is always open. You could say we “never give away their bedroom”, but always have their* place ready and waiting. More to the point, we will always feel that empty spot until they do return. No matter how far away, we always see that they are *still *in the family.

I like this point of view.

 

[twoangels]

Its important to remember that all validly baptized individuals are members of the Church, not just those who formally belong to the Catholic Church. Protestant groups are officially seperated from us, but there are plenty of people formally affilated with the Church who reject the fullness of truth.

The way I think of it is this way. The Catholic Church is like a great Cathedral with beautiful springs and fountains of lifegiving water (grace). This water comes from Christ. Yet many of us just walk around the fountains and don’t drink much of the water.

Now these springs of lifegiving water flow under the Church and underground. Outside of the Church there are other Christians who are not formally inside the Catholic Church but they are dedicated to digging wells. What water they find access to, they take full advantage of.

Its important to remember that the more we are given, the more is expected of us. Thus a person outside of the Catholic Church who eagerly seeks out Christ and takes advantage of all the graces he is able to get is closer to Heaven than a person within the Catholic Church who takes only the same amount of grace that the Protestant person outside of the Church does.

God wants us to seek after as much grace as we can get. Our heart has to be in it. Sometimes our journey in discovering Christ takes out out of the visible confines of the Church, but if we are following Christ, it will lead us closer to the fullness of Truth even if that journey isn’t completed on earth.

So if your neice was a lukewarm Catholic Christian who went through the motions of going to Mass because her parents’ forced her and now she’s making the Christian journey her own, she is drawing closer than she was to Christ. If however she was a dedicated Catholic who had passion for her Catholic faith, now rejects the Church and what she used to believe, that is cause for concern.

 

[monicabay]

Do you live in Katy TX? We have a powerhouse church here. People love it. I went once, that was enough.

I hope your niece finds her way home.

 

[PennyinCanada]

Let Christ grab her heart more fully. He has his ways of bringing people back full circle.

Does that church have infant baptism? Just wondering what’s going to happen when the first baby comes. No infant baptism?? Hmmmm… Maybe that might stir some longing for home.

 

[phoooiee]

Its important to remember that all validly baptized individuals are members of the Church, not just those who formally belong to the Catholic Church. Protestant groups are officially seperated from us, but there are plenty of people formally affilated with the Church who reject the fullness of truth.

The way I think of it is this way. The Catholic Church is like a great Cathedral with beautiful springs and fountains of lifegiving water (grace). This water comes from Christ. Yet many of us just walk around the fountains and don’t drink much of the water.

Now these springs of lifegiving water flow under the Church and underground. Outside of the Church there are other Christians who are not formally inside the Catholic Church but they are dedicated to digging wells. What water they find access to, they take full advantage of.

Its important to remember that the more we are given, the more is expected of us. Thus a person outside of the Catholic Church who eagerly seeks out Christ and takes advantage of all the graces he is able to get is closer to Heaven than a person within the Catholic Church who takes only the same amount of grace that the Protestant person outside of the Church does.

God wants us to seek after as much grace as we can get. Our heart has to be in it. Sometimes our journey in discovering Christ takes out out of the visible confines of the Church, but if we are following Christ, it will lead us closer to the fullness of Truth even if that journey isn’t completed on earth.

So if your neice was a lukewarm Catholic Christian who went through the motions of going to Mass because her parents’ forced her and now she’s making the Christian journey her own, she is drawing closer than she was to Christ. If however she was a dedicated Catholic who had passion for her Catholic faith, now rejects the Church and what she used to believe, that is cause for concern.

This is an AMAZING analogy- thanks for posting.

 

[mab23]

What does she say about the Eucharist? She’s leaving Jesus on the altar. I would find it so sad to have anyone I love walk away from Jesus that way. Just for a human connection with people who don’t know the Truth. Pray for her. People don’t know how to have a relationship with Christ without entertainment these days. It makes me sad.

last I heard non-denomination’s also believe in and love Jesus… I don’t understand the “walking away part” - i also think that non-denominational church do communion, its just slightly different

Have faith in God and have faith in her.

Recognize that she is on a journey. Her journey with God. Trust both of them. Sometimes it is necessary for a person to walk down roads that twist and turn and come to an end. It is there that she will find her way back.

Let your love bring her back. Love them to pieces. I have begun to ask St. Gabriel the Archangel to speak to my children. I know that my words can’t reach them but St. Gabriel’s words will. I trust my children enough to know that when they really see the truth they will listen.

I ask St. Raphael the Archangel to walk with them. I ask St. Michael the Archangel to protect them.

I also talk, on a fairly often basis, with the guardian angels of my loved ones. I thank their guardian angels for the help they give. Because I know that they know my loved ones better than I do, I ask their guardian angels to teach me how to reach them.

Every letter or e-mail I send to them I close with this prayer. “May the wings of your guardian angel surround and comfort you.”

They don’t object to that and it serves to remind them of my own belief in God and all that the Catholic Church stands for.

This

 

[fille_francais]

What does she say about the Eucharist? She’s leaving Jesus on the altar. I would find it so sad to have anyone I love walk away from Jesus that way. Just for a human connection with people who don’t know the Truth. Pray for her. People don’t know how to have a relationship with Christ without entertainment these days. It makes me sad.

I agree. We don’t go to church to be entertained. We go to be reverant and to receive the Eucharist. Right now your niece is drawn by the entertainment of the powerhouse church. I pray she finds her way back home.

 

[RobbyS]

What does she say about the Eucharist? She’s leaving Jesus on the altar. I would find it so sad to have anyone I love walk away from Jesus that way. Just for a human connection with people who don’t know the Truth. Pray for her. People don’t know how to have a relationship with Christ without entertainment these days. It makes me sad.

Did she believe , was she ever taught that when she went to mass that she was indeed partaking of the body and blood of Christ? Or was it just a ceremony? So many Catholics when questioned, accept the Protestant notion that the Lord’s Supper is just a common meal among believers, and that Jesus is not really present.

 

[PleasinChrist]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I asked my niece last night at a family birthday party how she felt about the vastly different meaning of communion in her new church. She said it was all symbolic and that she didn’t think anyone could actually turn bread into Jesus.

I didn’t want to push it too much, but I asked her why she felt more at home at her new place of worship. She said

1. People there know her name and welcome her. There is a strong sense of community. She wants to raise her children in a community like this because growing up in the Catholic Church, she never felt that anyone cared if her family attended or not and did not even know most of the parishioners.
2. She feels uplifted and inspired at their services instead of bored. She said she leaves wanting to be a better follower of Christ, rather than just being glad it’s over.
3. Her husband grew up in that faith and his family is very involved.
4. It is impossible to be “good” in the Catholic Church. She always felt like the Church was telling her she was bad and needed to confess. Now, she says she “goes directly to Jesus” when she needs to tell Him something and knows she has His forgiveness. She said she thinks confession is creepy, weird and unnecessary.
5. She is concerned about the use of statues, prayers to Mary/saints, holy water, rosaries, scapulars, medals, visions of the Virgin Mary etc. She said this seemed like superstition and idolatry. She says this all seems to muck up the relationship between Jesus and humanity. She said, “Why do we need that stuff when Jesus is right there for us?”

I am just beside myself. As her Godmother, and her confirmation sponsor, I feel like I’ve really blown it.