Conflicted - niece abandoned church, seems happy

[FCEGM]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I asked my niece last night at a family birthday party how she felt about the vastly different meaning of communion in her new church. She said it was all symbolic and that she didn’t think anyone could actually turn bread into Jesus.

I didn’t want to push it too much, but I asked her why she felt more at home at her new place of worship. She said

1. People there know her name and welcome her. There is a strong sense of community. She wants to raise her children in a community like this because growing up in the Catholic Church, she never felt that anyone cared if her family attended or not and did not even know most of the parishioners.
2. She feels uplifted and inspired at their services instead of bored. She said she leaves wanting to be a better follower of Christ, rather than just being glad it’s over.
3. Her husband grew up in that faith and his family is very involved.
4. It is impossible to be “good” in the Catholic Church. She always felt like the Church was telling her she was bad and needed to confess. Now, she says she “goes directly to Jesus” when she needs to tell Him something and knows she has His forgiveness. She said she thinks confession is creepy, weird and unnecessary.
5. She is concerned about the use of statues, prayers to Mary/saints, holy water, rosaries, scapulars, medals, visions of the Virgin Mary etc. She said this seemed like superstition and idolatry. She says this all seems to muck up the relationship between Jesus and humanity. She said, “Why do we need that stuff when Jesus is right there for us?”

I am just beside myself. As her Godmother, and her confirmation sponsor, I feel like I’ve really blown it.

Please be easier on yourself. Keep in mind that it’s love for her husband that is driving her into this “church”; her Catholic faith wasn’t formed deeply enough within her to allow her to sort her personal emotions from the doctrine she was taught. Some of the Catholic Answers pamplets available at the link below (check in the various categories there) might help answer the objections she is now raising.

catholic.com/tracts

 

[fille_francais]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I asked my niece last night at a family birthday party how she felt about the vastly different meaning of communion in her new church. She said it was all symbolic and that she didn’t think anyone could actually turn bread into Jesus.

I didn’t want to push it too much, but I asked her why she felt more at home at her new place of worship. She said

1. People there know her name and welcome her. There is a strong sense of community. She wants to raise her children in a community like this because growing up in the Catholic Church, she never felt that anyone cared if her family attended or not and did not even know most of the parishioners.
2. She feels uplifted and inspired at their services instead of bored. She said she leaves wanting to be a better follower of Christ, rather than just being glad it’s over.
3. Her husband grew up in that faith and his family is very involved.
4. It is impossible to be “good” in the Catholic Church. She always felt like the Church was telling her she was bad and needed to confess. Now, she says she “goes directly to Jesus” when she needs to tell Him something and knows she has His forgiveness. She said she thinks confession is creepy, weird and unnecessary.
5. She is concerned about the use of statues, prayers to Mary/saints, holy water, rosaries, scapulars, medals, visions of the Virgin Mary etc. She said this seemed like superstition and idolatry. She says this all seems to muck up the relationship between Jesus and humanity. She said, “Why do we need that stuff when Jesus is right there for us?”

I am just beside myself. As her Godmother, and her confirmation sponsor, I feel like I’ve really blown it.

Why don’t you invite her and her husband to join this forum? Just a thought. She doesn’t seem to be well formed in the faith. This forum will help her. Also…get some apologetics books for her to get your neice and her husband thinking.

Perhaps reading the very beginnings of Christianty and early church fathers would help her and her understanding of real presence in the Eucharist. Christ founded the Catholic church not the “Power house” church.

Have her read John 6. Also, in today’s gospel Jesus breathed the Holy Spirit to his Apostles telling them whoever sins you forgive they are forgiven. Jesus gave us the sacrament of confession at that point.

 

[EasterJoy]

last I heard non-denomination’s also believe in and love Jesus… I don’t understand the “walking away part” - i also think that non-denominational church do communion, its just slightly different

Adoring and loving Jesus is not the same as recognizing the Real Presence of Jesus in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar.

While the beliefs of the Lutherans and the Anglicans have far more in common with ours, the Catholic Church and the non-denominational Christian churches would agree totally on this much: their understanding of what the Lord meant by “do this in memory of me” are far more than “just slightly different.” The two rituals are rooted in many of the same passages of Scriptures, but these are substantially and vitally different responses, based on substantially and vitally different theologies.

It’s not the same. We don’t think so, and neither do they.

 

[mh2007]

God is everywhere. I have seen many life long Catholics choose similar venues. They have a free will to choose. Personally, I have never explored other religions or churches. The only times I’ve ever been in non-Catholic churches was to attend weddings. So I can’t judge the motives of others.

But I can certainly understand why some aspects of other churches may appeal to younger folks. I see many different broadcasts on cable TV, and they aren’t anything like traditional Catholic Mass. I don’t judge any Christian churches. I just try to remember that everyone rows their boat a little bit different. I’m sure Jesus is understanding. After all, His own apostles wouldn’t stay up and pray with Him after the Last Supper, and they ran scared when He was arrested.

 

[mab23]

Adoring and loving Jesus is not the same as recognizing the Real Presence of Jesus in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar.

While the beliefs of the Lutherans and the Anglicans have far more in common with ours, the Catholic Church and the non-denominational Christian churches would agree totally on this much: their understanding of what the Lord meant by “do this in memory of me” are far more than “just slightly different.” The two rituals are rooted in many of the same passages of Scriptures, but these are substantially and vitally different responses, based on substantially and vitally different theologies.

It’s not the same. We don’t think so, and neither do they.

This I agree with

 

[EasterJoy]

God is everywhere. I have seen many life long Catholics choose similar venues. They have a free will to choose. Personally, I have never explored other religions or churches. The only times I’ve ever been in non-Catholic churches was to attend weddings. So I can’t judge the motives of others.

But I can certainly understand why some aspects of other churches may appeal to younger folks. I see many different broadcasts on cable TV, and they aren’t anything like traditional Catholic Mass. I don’t judge any Christian churches. I just try to remember that everyone rows their boat a little bit different. I’m sure Jesus is understanding. After all, His own apostles wouldn’t stay up and pray with Him after the Last Supper, and they ran scared when He was arrested.

The fact that the Holy Spirit does not confine himself to Catholic Churches or that God alone knows the reasons of the heart is not a reason to give over to relativism, as our Holy Father has pointed out. It is a balance that needs to be struck. It is one thing to realize what you do and don’t have control over; it is another to forget what the truth is.

chiesa.espresso.repubblica.it/articolo/38173?eng=y

 

[HelenRose]

The fact that the Holy Spirit does not confine himself to Catholic Churches or that God alone knows the reasons of the heart is not a reason to give over to relativism, as our Holy Father has pointed out. It is a balance that needs to be struck. It is one thing to realize what you do and don’t have control over; it is another to forget what the truth is.

chiesa.espresso.repubblica.it/articolo/38173?eng=y

For instance: One does not need believe that the world is round. You do not go spinning off the Earth because of your disbelief. However the world is round and that truth can not be changed. One might not accept the truth of the Catholic Church but that in no way diminishes the reality of Her truth.

I believe that the desire for truth is an entirely different thing than the desire to find a Church they we “feel” comfortable in. God alone knows our motivations but I don’t think it wise to assume either his mercy or his judgement. He expects us to put some effort in our search for Him. I think that it would be a mistake to just sit back and say to ourselves that it doesn’t really matter what we believe.

 

[masuwerte]

I don’t think you’ve “blown it,” PC. Things might not have turned out exactly as you would have preferred, so far anyway, but your goddaughter loves Jesus and reads the bible. You can be happy about that. I think the best you can do is to be a good example for her, be a friend to her. Maybe she’ll revert one day, who knows.

 

[Apologista]

The fact that the Holy Spirit does not confine himself to Catholic Churches or that God alone knows the reasons of the heart is not a reason to give over to relativism, as our Holy Father has pointed out. It is a balance that needs to be struck. It is one thing to realize what you do and don’t have control over; it is another to forget what the truth is.

chiesa.espresso.repubblica.it/articolo/38173?eng=y

I know I can’t judge anyone’s heart, I’m not God, but when someone leaves the Church I still feel the fear for their soul that I felt as a girl because that was how I was catechised. That if you leave the Catholic Church you are endangering your soul. How does a person not let the fear tip them into being too forceful toward the person who left the Church? Because then the person would get defensive, most likely. The whole thing could backfire.

Also, I totally get that the OP’s niece was probably not well catechised or that it didn’t sink in or whatever. But some people seem really into Catholicism and then they leave too. It’s puzzling.

 

[c0ldb33r]

Although not ideal this isnt the end of the world.

She sounds happy and Christian, which is a nice start

Give her time and she may come back. If not just be happy for her. If you pressure her to defend herself it will just backfire.