Confronting Family Members About Sin

[EasterJoy]

Outside of sharing my faith with others, I simply keep myself and my own sins in check. Perhaps when I was younger and more immature, I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to try and point the way, especially as an enthusiastic Catholic, but I chose in my walk with the Lord to focus more on my own sins. I think that if you’re strong in your faith, in your walk, that’s really the BEST way to admonish sinners, so to speak, because you’re setting an example. NOT that this should be our goal per se, I really think we need to be mindful of our own self more so than those of others, even IF you’re concerned for your dad/family/friends/neighbors out of love, because it’s what God would want, especially before going out and preaching to others about how to live!

The best witnessing is done when we focus on overcoming our own sins and leading a life as is as holy as possible within the limits of our nature as sinners. At least, that’s what I think. I understand your heart and your intentions, but especially considering that you’ve already gone out of your way once with negative results, I wouldn’t worry about your dad anymore as much as yourself. Prayer is the best that can be done, and that’s a lot!

God bless you!

I guess I do not see trying to strongly promote the practice of confession among fellow Catholics as some sort of a condemnation. It is a sacrament full of grace, and it ought to be promoted more. When someone takes insult at it, that is the time for some clarification about all of its benefits. After all, who on earth doesn’t need to go to confession? The greatest of saints have been lovers of the sacrament, and did not live in fear of it, but rather lived in fear of sin. It is no condemnation of others to invite those others to come along when we are going ourselves!

 

[Mrs_Brenners]

I guess I do not see trying to strongly promote the practice of confession among fellow Catholics as some sort of a condemnation. It is a sacrament full of grace, and it ought to be promoted more. When someone takes insult at it, that is the time for some clarification about all of its benefits. After all, who on earth doesn’t need to go to confession? The greatest of saints have been lovers of the sacrament, and did not live in fear of it, but rather lived in fear of sin. It is no condemnation of others to invite those others to come along when we are going ourselves!

Oh of course! I agree with you actually, but it’s so much different how you just worded it and presented it than a person just flat out saying “You need confession!” as opposed to “Hey I’m going to confession, would you like to join me? You might really feel better afterward, plus I know God would be so pleased that you trust and love Him so much to allow him to alleviate your spiritual burdens!”

I dunno, maybe I just fear your average person might not be as considerate with their words as you Easter! You put it lovely though.

 

[religioussoup]

I couldn’t tell you the last time my dad went to confession…probably the first time I got mine.

Confession is not for everyone. I know people are going to say that it is a Catholic obligation to confess your sins to a priest, but I’m going to be honest: my dad just turned 44 and he has literally been through heaven (after his heart attack). He is a healthy man who loves his children and honestly isn’t really the best of Catholics. He doesn’t really believe in the Bible, but he’s taught us the underlying messages of Catholicism through his words and actions. He is the greatest man I know.

Confession just doesn’t really do it for our family. I’m not sure why. Praying is super important, but no one in my family really feels obligated to go because we personally confess our sins to God through prayer.

My first (and last) confession may have been the scariest moment of my life the priest was from an unknown parish and he was very intimidating. I started crying because he kept asking me to tell me everything I had done wrong, and reflecting on my faults was so stressful at the time because for a 2nd grader I had the absolute lowest self-esteem. To tell a stranger about all of the bad things that you have done is really scary, especially when your self-esteem is so low it turns into suicidal thoughts/depression.

Your dad may be uncomfortable about confession, and I know people might chide me for saying this, but it’s okay. If he feels that a personal prayer to God about how genuinely sorry he is for his sins will help him get through his sins, then I think that it is alright.

 

[Demetra2]

I think actions speak louder than words in regards to your father. He already became angry with you over his lack of confession so try not to aggravate him. It would be better for you to be a loving daughter and occasionally tell him how much your faith means to you and how it helps you to be a better person. Very occasionally you might mention that you are going to confession without any hint that you want him to also go. Just be subtle. And pray every day on his behalf. And offer sacrifices also on his behalf. God will do His best to help the situation but ultimately your father has free will.

 

[Demetra2]

I couldn’t tell you the last time my dad went to confession…probably the first time I got mine.

Confession is not for everyone. I know people are going to say that it is a Catholic obligation to confess your sins to a priest, but I’m going to be honest: my dad just turned 44 and he has literally been through heaven (after his heart attack). He is a healthy man who loves his children and honestly isn’t really the best of Catholics. He doesn’t really believe in the Bible, but he’s taught us the underlying messages of Catholicism through his words and actions. He is the greatest man I know.

Confession just doesn’t really do it for our family. I’m not sure why. Praying is super important, but no one in my family really feels obligated to go because we personally confess our sins to God through prayer.

My first (and last) confession may have been the scariest moment of my life the priest was from an unknown parish and he was very intimidating. I started crying because he kept asking me to tell me everything I had done wrong, and reflecting on my faults was so stressful at the time because for a 2nd grader I had the absolute lowest self-esteem. To tell a stranger about all of the bad things that you have done is really scary, especially when your self-esteem is so low it turns into suicidal thoughts/depression.

Your dad may be uncomfortable about confession, and I know people might chide me for saying this, but it’s okay. If he feels that a personal prayer to God about how genuinely sorry he is for his sins will help him get through his sins, then I think that it is alright.

Please gather the courage to go to confession again. Talk to a priest about your fears. There are many good and kind confessors who will treat you gently. I promise you that you will feel great after confession. It is a beautiful and cleansing gift from God. It makes me sad that you are denying yourself , dear one. While it is nice that you prayerfully ask God for forgiveness this is incomplete in terms of receiving the grace of a sacrament. You must confess in the presence of a priest to absolve you of your sins.

 

[religioussoup]

Please gather the courage to go to confession again. Talk to a priest about your fears. There are many good and kind confessors who will treat you gently. I promise you that you will feel great after confession. It is a beautiful and cleansing gift from God. It makes me sad that you are denying yourself , dear one. While it is nice that you prayerfully ask God for forgiveness this is incomplete in terms of receiving the grace of a sacrament. You must confess in the presence of a priest to absolve you of your sins.

I know it’s not spiritual “cleansing”, but I have seen some psychologists on unrelated issues and it does help. My mental health has significantly improved since the last psych session. It is just so uncomfortable and makes me so anxious and I really, really, would not like to put myself in that situation. I am absolutely not uncomfortable while praying to God. It is a personal reflection that I hold between God and I, without any other person.

 

[chopstocky]

It is possible, yes?
That a person doesn’t commit a “sin” over a few years time span.

.

I would like to meet that person and beg them to be my spiritual advisor.

 

[kmkarbo]

Hi Snow Angel,
It looks like we have the same priest and I have experienced the same quandry. What I would do is share my thoughts, as you wrote them in your query, with your father, and leave it at that. Then there would be no pressure on your dad and it would sound caring and respectful.

 

[SnowAngels]

Thank you all for your advice! I appreciate that you took the time to reply to me. I have decided to continue evangelizing through actions instead of words. Maybe some time in the future I will casually ask if he wants to join me, but I won’t mention it to him besides that. I will continue to pray for my Dad as I know he is in a dark place.

I hope you all have a blessed day and a holy Lent! God bless you!