Confronting Life

[Elizium23]

goodmenproject.com/2010/10/23/confronting-life/
youtube.com/watch?v=jEFWDYB0rWo

“You’re killing your unborn baby!”

That’s what they yelled at me and my wife on the worst day of our lives. As we entered the women’s health center on an otherwise perfect summer morning in Brookline, two women we had never met decided to pile onto the nightmare we had been living for three weeks. These “Christians” verbally accosted us—judged us—as we steeled ourselves for the horror of making the unimaginable, but necessary, decision to end our pregnancy at 16 weeks.

After extensive testing at a renowned Boston hospital three weeks earlier, we were told our baby had Sirenomelia. Otherwise known as Mermaid Syndrome, it’s a rare (one in every 100,000 pregnancies) congenital deformity in which the legs are fused together. Worse than that, our baby had no bladder or kidneys. Our doctors told us there was zero chance for survival.

To me it is sad that in a situation like this that the parents could not pray and allow God’s will be done in their lives, rather than playing God.

 

[3DOCTORS]

This is a very tragic situation for a couple to be in. There are ministries that can help the parents deal with their struggles without resorting to abortion. Please understand that I’m not saying this to pass judgment on what anyone has already done. But maybe informing people that these ministries exist will help someone. I will pray for everyone involved. My heart goes out to the people in these extreme situations.

www.elizabethministry.com

and www.BeNotAfraid.net

There is also of course Project Rachel for post-abortive healing if needed.

 

[Marc_Anthony]

It’s sad that the Christians were that uncharitable. It’s an extraordinarily difficult situation and the Christinas should have understood that.

The couple should have also understood the difference between natural death and murder. If the child were already born and had a terminal illness would the parents decide to take said child to the doctor without the child’s consent to kill them?

I hope not.

It’s a sad double standard.

 

[Barbkw]

madisonsfoundation.org/index.php/component/option,com_mpower/Itemid,49/diseaseID,631

 

[3DOCTORS]

In my hometown of Wichita KS there is a ministry called Agape Care Cradle which provides funerals for these children and helps the families.

 

[twoangels]

I have to say that this couple does have my sympathy. Pregnancy can be difficult to go through and the light at the end of the tunnel is dreams of meeting your baby for the first time. It seems this couple had their dreams shattered by genetic testing. So much genetic testing done today is primarily to give couples the choice to abort rather than to face the heartbreak of losing your child after they are born.

Losing a child is heartbreaking. My in-laws lost two children during their infancy. I really think it takes heroic virtue for a parent to go through a pregnancy and labor knowing that the child will not survive.

We do have to be able to get into these people’s shoes. I mean in my situation, I love my little daughter in my womb very much and would never consider aborting her. But the first trimester was difficult and our economic situation is uncertain and frightening. Had I no faith in God (constantly telling myself everyday “God will provide”), I don’t know how I’d go through this. It is only my sense that not only is abortion wrong, but in simply knowing that my path is to not merely strive for a moral ideal, but to strive for it even when doing it takes a great leap of faith. Now being over halfway done, its definitely joyful. Right now, my baby is actually being pretty active as I type and I’m really enjoying it. I so much do not want to lose her and the reality of her presense becomes more and more overt. If she had some genetic abnormality that meant she’d die as soon as she was born, I think every kick would bring me to tears. I simply would not want to know. Then if she did have something wrong and died, at least I’d have the fond memories of her active within my womb.

But you have to realize that for many, the child seems abstract. Its potential. Its something developing. And then when you’re faced with such horrible news, you would see the sacrifice of going through labor and probably wonder why you should go through it? Why not go through the heartbreak now, is what they’re saying, rather than prolong the mourning for 9 months and then beyond.

Asserting that abortion is wrong has nothing to do with religion. That’s simply logical. Giving people hope, that is where Christianity comes in. If we’re going to be a Christian witness, we ought to be witnessing to hope and not merely standing there saying “Don’t kill your baby.”

 

[3DOCTORS]

twoangels, that’s what I’m trying to do, give hope. You make many good points. I know one lady who went through two pregnancies where there was no hope. She even did make an appointment for abortion but changed her mind. Then later she had two healthy children.

I also have a cousin in whose 2nd pregnancy the baby was not expected to live long after birth. The child lived 5 days. I went to the funeral and burst out bawling at the sight of the tiny baby in the coffin.

From what I’ve read about these ministries the people who have chosen to carry their pregnancies naturally, even the full 9 months if that’s how long it ends up being, don’t have an easy path. It has to be one of the most heartbreaking things imaginable. That is why these ministries were founded.

I believe in my heart that even if the parents can’t face it on a conscious level, aborting the baby would ultimately bring more regret and unresolved grief than lovingly getting support from others who have been down that road themselves, and memorializing the child according to God’s plans.

If these ministries didn’t exist, it would seem like the parents of a baby with such severe problems had nowhere to turn and abortion would seem like a way out of their emotional suffering. But they do exist, and many don’t know that they do. As a pro-life person who cares for the baby and the parents, I feel it my Christian duty to make people aware of what’s available to help them.

St. Gerard, pray for all pregnant women and their babies.