Confused about Catholic-Protestant Relationship

[KristinM]

Oops, I accidently deleted my post, oh well, you quoted it, so I guess you read it…

 

[LaBailey]

My point, I feel that some on this board would have preferred an “I apologize for calling you rats” rather than “So forget the rat thing”

Ok then, I apologize for calling you rats! I thought when I said “I love my boyfriend and his family very dearly and they are certainly not rats.” Then, “So I guess the rest of you aren’t rats.” was implied, Haha I’m sorry about all of that! You’re all humans! Rat’s wouldn’t be able to type all of this… I’M KIDDING! I’m sure you’re all very sweet people, I just caught some of your sour sides. (Just as you all caught mine! )

 

[Lil_Cat]

Hey LaBailey!

Be careful marrying this guy. I married a Catholic and we just finished up a conversation and it wasn’t pretty. Basically, the church teaches that there is no salvation outside of the church, but they don’t teach that all non-Catholics go to hell. So, inspired by your thread, we started talking about salvation. I was told (by my husband) that the teachings that say that not all non-catholics are going to hell were not infallible and were too PC. So when I asked if he thinks I’m going to hell, the answer was “dinner was really good tonight, thank you”.

Think long and hard before you marry this guy. I know I’m not the only Protestant married someone that decided to revert AFTER they got married. I am expected to raise kids with someone that thinks I have a one-way non-stop ticket to hell. Sadly enough, my kids will probably think I’m going to hell. It’s a cappy, cappy situation to be in. If he is truly devout, you are in for a world of hurt and you will have many sleepless nights (if you’re anything like me).

While I’m not too sure I agree with the way one or two people have come off, they are right. If I could go back and do things over again, I would probably not be married to my husband. Sure I love him, but knowing what I know now, I’m don’t think I would have made the decision to marry him. Its a really hard road you don’t want to go down if you can help it. Love does not conquer all. I was raised with the mentality that marriage is a one-shot deal (not even an annulment is an excuse) so what do I do? All I can do is grin and bear it.

Hindsight is 20/20. Use other people’s bad experiences to make a wise decision. I wish you all the best and I hope things work out according to God’s will (not yours, not your boyfriend’s, but God’s).

 

[1ke]

Be careful marrying this guy. I married a Catholic and we just finished up a conversation and it wasn’t pretty. Basically, the church teaches that there is no salvation outside of the church, but they don’t teach that all non-Catholics go to hell. So, inspired by your thread, we started talking about salvation. I was told (by my husband) that the teachings that say that not all non-catholics are going to hell were not infallible and were too PC. So when I asked if he thinks I’m going to hell, the answer was “dinner was really good tonight, thank you”.

Lil_Cat,

I’m really sorry that your husband said something so cruel to you… that is no way to communicate in a marriage.

The Church does teach that outside the Church there is no salvation, but the Catechism explains exactly what that means (as you probably know it does not mean all non-Catholics automatically go to Hell). He should start examining himself instead of presuming that you are in spiritual peril. I believe with all my heart that the Catholic Church holds the fullness of truth, but I never presume to know who is and who is not going to Heaven (myself included). Only God knows that.

 

[Love_is_Patient]

Hey LaBailey!

Be careful marrying this guy. I married a Catholic and we just finished up a conversation and it wasn’t pretty. Basically, the church teaches that there is no salvation outside of the church, but they don’t teach that all non-Catholics go to hell. So, inspired by your thread, we started talking about salvation. I was told (by my husband) that the teachings that say that not all non-catholics are going to hell were not infallible and were too PC. So when I asked if he thinks I’m going to hell, the answer was “dinner was really good tonight, thank you”.

Think long and hard before you marry this guy. I know I’m not the only Protestant married someone that decided to revert AFTER they got married. I am expected to raise kids with someone that thinks I have a one-way non-stop ticket to hell. Sadly enough, my kids will probably think I’m going to hell. It’s a cappy, cappy situation to be in. If he is truly devout, you are in for a world of hurt and you will have many sleepless nights (if you’re anything like me).

While I’m not too sure I agree with the way one or two people have come off, they are right. If I could go back and do things over again, I would probably not be married to my husband. Sure I love him, but knowing what I know now, I’m don’t think I would have made the decision to marry him. Its a really hard road you don’t want to go down if you can help it. Love does not conquer all. I was raised with the mentality that marriage is a one-shot deal (not even an annulment is an excuse) so what do I do? All I can do is grin and bear it.

Hindsight is 20/20. Use other people’s bad experiences to make a wise decision. I wish you all the best and I hope things work out according to God’s will (not yours, not your boyfriend’s, but God’s).

Lil_Cat,

I am so sorry that he was so cruel. Know that his belief is not true Catholic teaching and I pray that he will come to realize this as well.

Love is Patient

 

[BamaRider]

Hey LaBailey!

Be careful marrying this guy. I married a Catholic and we just finished up a conversation and it wasn’t pretty. Basically, the church teaches that there is no salvation outside of the church, but they don’t teach that all non-Catholics go to hell. So, inspired by your thread, we started talking about salvation. I was told (by my husband) that the teachings that say that not all non-catholics are going to hell were not infallible and were too PC. So when I asked if he thinks I’m going to hell, the answer was “dinner was really good tonight, thank you”.

Think long and hard before you marry this guy. I know I’m not the only Protestant married someone that decided to revert AFTER they got married. I am expected to raise kids with someone that thinks I have a one-way non-stop ticket to hell. Sadly enough, my kids will probably think I’m going to hell. It’s a cappy, cappy situation to be in. If he is truly devout, you are in for a world of hurt and you will have many sleepless nights (if you’re anything like me).

While I’m not too sure I agree with the way one or two people have come off, they are right. If I could go back and do things over again, I would probably not be married to my husband. Sure I love him, but knowing what I know now, I’m don’t think I would have made the decision to marry him. Its a really hard road you don’t want to go down if you can help it. Love does not conquer all. I was raised with the mentality that marriage is a one-shot deal (not even an annulment is an excuse) so what do I do? All I can do is grin and bear it.

Hindsight is 20/20. Use other people’s bad experiences to make a wise decision. I wish you all the best and I hope things work out according to God’s will (not yours, not your boyfriend’s, but God’s).

This post ought to be made a sticky for all those contemplating entering a mixed union.

 

[kage_ar]

As an adult convert from a Christian Church/Church of Christ home, I have a book suggestion for you.

Christ in His Fullness by Bruce Sullivan

amazon.com/Christ-His-Fullness-Bruce-Sullivan/dp/0970262175/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1231386857&sr=8-1

 

[ChristinaM]

LaBailey, I hear your frustration, and I can understand where you’re coming from. Maybe you’re just now thinking through the implications of your boyfriend’s Catholic faith, and you’re confused and hurt, and scared about what this might mean for y’all’s relationship. At the same time, do NOT devalue people’s experience when they tell you of the difficulties of an interfaith marriage. They are not trying to drive you off, they are trying to warn you out of concern for a fellow Christian. I know you probably think we’re a bunch of old biddies trying to get in your business , but trust me, a few years makes a lot of difference. I have no idea how old you are, but at 17 the difficulties of an interfaith marriage were FAR from my mind. Now as a married woman at 23 life looks much different. Please, please don’t dismiss the advice you’re getting just because it makes you uncomfortable.

It’s not healthy to ask for advice and then only take the advice you deem “positive” or “sincere.” I know all the posters here are sincere in the truest sense of that word. The advice on the thread might be a bitter pill, but it would be false charity to sugarcoat the difficulties of marriage when one spouse is Catholic and the other is not.

I think it would be a good idea for you to maybe step away from the forum for a while. You already have a lot of food for thought. Try and find the books that people have suggested. Read through some of the articles on the main Catholic Answers site. If you’re really looking to learn about Catholicism, this should help.

My husband was initially not at all curious about Catholicism. We had a LOT of talks about faith before getting engaged. Eventually he started wanting to learn more about it, and now he comes to Mass with me every week. We even discuss the priest’s homily together. He told me he wanted to learn about Catholicism because it was so important to me. Learning about my faith was part of loving me.

You have a choice. You can learn about your boyfriend’s faith and possibly grow in your relationship. Or you can decide the religious difference is too much to handle and break it off. But I don’t think it’s healthy for your relationship or your future marriage if you keep having a negative attitude towards your boyfriend’s religion. It sounds to me like you don’t see anything positive about Catholicism. Heck, even my non-religious husband loves our music and the art in our churches! If he felt the same as you apparently do about Catholics and Catholicism, that would be too painful to bear, and I doubt we’d be married.

I sense some of the other posters are getting impatient with you. But I know you are not typing these posts to be intentionally cruel or offensive, but perhaps reacting out of fear or misplaced anger. I hope you will take the advice in the spirit it was given, and pray that you can know God’s will for your life. I will pray for you and your boyfriend too.

 

[LaBailey]

I know you probably think we’re a bunch of old biddies

• Haha! I’m older than you, that’s funny …

I think it would be a good idea for you to maybe step away from the forum for a while.

• You got that right!

He told me he wanted to learn about Catholicism because it was so important to me. Learning about my faith was part of loving me.

• This is EXACTLY what I say to my boyfriend. Why do you think I went to all of the trouble to do this?

It sounds to me like you don’t see anything positive about Catholicism.

-Of course I do?!

Anyway, thank you for your post. There were many helpful points. I do plan on taking on some of the books that were suggested earlier. However, everyone’s relationship is different and I can’t really go by all of these peoples’ advice. I just have to find things out for myself. However hard/difficult/painful it might be. At least I had fair warning. But I need to do this on my own. Thanks to all for your help. (Hope you forget about me real soon, ha! )

 

[KCtheMommy]

WOW girl – I had the love, and now I lost it.

NO they are not “just wafers.” I already explained this. God help your Soul with this narrow-minded, ridiculous thought…

They are: The Body of Jesus Christ. The Wine: His Blood.

You don’t seem to grasp the reality. So on that note – please let him go, you don’t deserve him.

I pray for your fiance – I really do. Please let him go. When I first read your thread I thought you had a decent chance of understanding our faith. Now I know you are an ignoramous and there is no chance.

Yes – to your original question – just break up.

 

[Melissa2007]

Oh my goodness poster – you are SO awesome. You are! You are so articulate and your questions are very honest and sincere. I don’t much care for the “trained rats” comment (can rats be trained?) but over-all – I just want to squeeze you!! LOL

I have been a member here for a long time – and usually these types of posts are SO hostile and bitter. Yes, you are resentful, I see that, but it’s resentment of not understanding, not just blanket hatred or anger. Future in-laws (we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, so that makes you our future sister-in-law) questioning why they have to do it our way or the highway and they are so angry about it. You’re not totally there, you are honestly asking “OK CATHOLICS: what the HECK IS UP?” The part about us being better than anyone else in regards to communion – that about had me falling of my chair. Simple answer: we believe that the Bread and Wine is TRULY the Body and the Blood of Christ, not symbolically, but truly the BODY and the BLOOD of Jesus Christ. Protestants symbolically take communion in respect of the last supper. There is a difference. Now, they are not “just wafers” – in your church, yes, in ours: NO.

I am sure your questions have been answered many times over in this thread. Can I offer just a simple start to understanding our faith? Buy the book “Catholicism for Dummies” and go from there. I am not saying you are a dummy at all, it just happens to be the most all-encompassing yet simple, and entertaining book out there on the basic principals of our faith. A lot of your “WHY?” questions will quickly be answered there.

Again. it’s entertaining, and it’s informative.

Oh and please come update us when you guys reach a compromise. I will be excited to hear about it. If ever a catholic brother should enter a marriage with a protestant – it should be someone as inquisitive as you.

Oh and by the way – a catholic priest won’t stand by throwing blessings at you at your protestant wedding…ha ha ha that is funny. Your boyfriend did explain that right???

I love this poster too. I am not catholic but I am married to one. We had a Protestant wedding with a Baptist minister. We did have a priest present and he did bless our marriage so it can and does happen. I could have written this post myself 8 or so years ago. I never would have dreamed that I would be even thinking about becoming Catholic. We had discussed things and come up with a plan identical to yours and we did follow through for the first year or so. We went to both churches. Then I had a baby and I did not want to leave t baby in the nursery so we we only went to the catholic church. I was bitter about the whole communion thing too. The more you research the more you will understand. I really suggest reading everything you can so that you can become knowledgeable on his faith. it really helps. You do have to be willing to allow your children to be raised catholic. That doesn’t mean that you can’t attend both churches I guess? It can work out. My dh and I have a wonderfully loving relationship. You have to agree not to push eachother into the others religion. You have to agree not to fight about religion. You can discuss but not fight. Good luck. If you want to talk feel free to PM me. There are a lot of discouraging posts about interfaith marriages on here, but they can work if you work at it. I would write more but I am on my blackberry and my thumbs are sore!

 

[rolltidefan]

LaBailey…I do have to say that I also think you are taking some of the posts and thinking these people are out to get you. As they have said on here, this is a Catholic board, so we as protestants have to realize that we are going to get the Catholic answer here. However, if we want to know about it, I think they need to realize that is why we are coming here and just want loving answers also. That doesn’t mean we are not wanting what you know to be the truth, but just in love.

I think you have took 1ke wrong also…this person actually has a lot of useful and helpful information. She is just stating the facts about what the Catholic church teaches and their practices and that is actually what she is supposed to do. Just the same way that we protect what we believe and speak it out. She is not meaning to be rude or arrogant at all.

As I have said before, I am in an interfaith marriage myself. I don’t like the fact that people act as if they can’t work, because they do. However, I can tell you that we actually attend my church. That was made on the basis of I stood up and told my husband exactly what I believe and would not bend on them. Of course, I know what most are going to say about my husband and the decision that he made and of course I don’t want to hear them or hear of him being run down. I don’t see it as him leaving God, because he didn’t leave God, he just chooses to worship God in my church and he is still a Christian. So, as I have said many times in the past and what they are telling you here is, don’t give up what you believe in for “love” and I would tell him the same. If he cannot or you cannot give up what you believe, then you don’t need to be married, because it will not work and it will be very hard.

I think the worst thing is knowing that both sides are actually Christian and we treat each other in this way. We have not come that far from the reformation, except we are not killing each other physically, but we are killing each other with words and lack of tolerance for each other.

Things will be very different when you bring a child into the world. That is one of the reasons that I could not convert. I have two kids from a previous marriage and I knew I would not go against everything I knew to be truth and I also knew I would not go against their father to raise them in something that he also didn’t believe in. So my decision was pretty easy on what I needed to do.

Again, I just say to you to pray about it all. I wouldn’t tell you to break up with him, but I also wouldn’t say to go out and get married tomorrow either. I love my husband and couldn’t imagine life without him and I think it can work out, but not without a lot of prayer on both sides.

 

[basilisk]

I just have to find things out for myself. However hard/difficult/painful it might be. At least I had fair warning.

Only do it to YOURSELF, though. Please, do not bring any children into the world until you either are in a marriage of religious unity, or you and this current man have married and made a decision about in WHICH faith you will practice and raise children. You can’t practice and teach both… it just doesn’t work.

And, just a little advice… if you are older than ChristinaM, who lists her age as 23 on her profile (yours is not listed), then you really are too old to sound as petulant as you come across in your posts. Part of the reason people thought you were young is because your posts read like a 17 year old typed them. I am sure you think I am just insulting you, but I am trying to give you constructive advice. If, next time you need help with something, you ask without first insulting the people you are consulting, and then respond without whining about the things they tell you, you will probably have a better experience.

 

[jwashu]

Hey LaBailey!

Be careful marrying this guy. I married a Catholic and we just finished up a conversation and it wasn’t pretty. Basically, the church teaches that there is no salvation outside of the church, but they don’t teach that all non-Catholics go to hell. So, inspired by your thread, we started talking about salvation. I was told (by my husband) that the teachings that say that not all non-catholics are going to hell were not infallible and were too PC. So when I asked if he thinks I’m going to hell, the answer was “dinner was really good tonight, thank you”.

Think long and hard before you marry this guy. I know I’m not the only Protestant married someone that decided to revert AFTER they got married. I am expected to raise kids with someone that thinks I have a one-way non-stop ticket to hell. Sadly enough, my kids will probably think I’m going to hell. It’s a cappy, cappy situation to be in. If he is truly devout, you are in for a world of hurt and you will have many sleepless nights (if you’re anything like me).

While I’m not too sure I agree with the way one or two people have come off, they are right. If I could go back and do things over again, I would probably not be married to my husband. Sure I love him, but knowing what I know now, I’m don’t think I would have made the decision to marry him. Its a really hard road you don’t want to go down if you can help it. Love does not conquer all. I was raised with the mentality that marriage is a one-shot deal (not even an annulment is an excuse) so what do I do? All I can do is grin and bear it.

Hindsight is 20/20. Use other people’s bad experiences to make a wise decision. I wish you all the best and I hope things work out according to God’s will (not yours, not your boyfriend’s, but God’s).

Lil I’m sorry you are going through this, as a convert who has studied our Faith extensively, he is wrong… there are even quotes from the B16 where he talks about Salvation, Protestants and the fact that no Protestant today Protested anything nor understands the what the Church teaches. I believe one of the exact quotes was “there can be no doubt in anyone’s mind that Christians are finding Christ in some of these churches.”

MORE IMPORTANTLY though you Husband didn’t listen nor is he showing an understanding about Sacramental Marriage. The Church teaches that as spouses we are partially responsible for each others salvation. If he wants to make trite comments like that he needs to do them in a mirror.

Sorry to sound harsh and I understand mixed marriages can be difficult but I know a lot of people who have very successful ones as well.

Perhaps you need to do some research on Catholicism to better understand it. My Parish is pretty devout and I don’t know a single Catholic who would tell anyone they are going to Hell, especially not a Protestant brethren. In fact, as Catholics we wouldn’t even say we were sure that Hitler was in hell. We can guess so but who knows for sure. Perhaps he changed his life in the split second before he killed himself? Highly unlikely yes but the bottom line is we don’t know. God knows… we aren’t suppose to judge. Rather we are suppose to show how one obtains salvation, that’s why we are here.

I would encourage you to look up info on the church, there is a good site for protestants call catholicbridge.com (already sent this to the OP). If for no other reason you may help your husband with his salvation by helping him learn what his Church teaches and why.

You guys are in my prayers!
Joe

 

[KristinM]

Basically, the church teaches that there is no salvation outside of the church, but they don’t teach that all non-Catholics go to hell.

Not quite.

The Catholic Church does says that there is no salvation outside the Church. But the you need to see how the Catholic Church defines the word church.

It thinks that there is only one “Church” and it includes the Catholic Church and all the non-Catholic religions are under her umbrella. That does not mean that the Catholic Church has any control over any other christian religion, only that, when the Catholic Church uses the word “church” it is inclusive.

Remember, we use the word “catholic” (with a little c) to include Catholics (with the big C), and all other christians.

I don’t know Lil-Cat or her husband, but it sounds like he is misinformed and mispoke. Unfortunately, there are a lot of Catholics and non-Catholics, myself included, who are misinformed about the Catholic Church.

 

[KristinM]

I apologize for calling you rats!

thank you

 

[shajek74]

leBailey -

Thank you for your original post. I spoke with my husband in great detail about what you had posted and had him read it along with the rest of the thread. He had the exact opinion that I had and was just as concerned. We also let our two teens read your original post (not any of the responses) and asked them how they felt about your situation and if it was something they would consider when they decided on a spouse. From two teen’s point of view, they agreed that it was absolutely not an option for them to marry someone that was not Catholic. I explained to them that there are marriages between people that are not of the same religion that work just fine but not always. My 14 yr old son had the deepest thought of it all. He asked how someone could claim to love another with their whole heart and speak in the manor in which you do about his Church and his people. He also wondered if you spoke to him and his parents about your issues with the Catholic Church and made the “rat” and “wafer” remarks to them along with all of the other ugly remarks that were made in your original post. Again, thank you for your post as it has gone a long way in our home.

 

[whatevergirl]

Hi LABAILEY–

I have not read through the entire thread…so that being said, here are my sentiments. In a nutshell, if you are devout in your faith, and he is a devout Catholic…you sound like you don’t respect (maybe just don’t understand but calling us trained rats didn’t come across too well to me ) the Catholic traditions and faith. If you don’t respect your bf’s faith, and are trying to change him to accepting your beliefs…your relationship will struggle. If he is a devout Catholic, I say this. If he doesn’t care, is not practicing…etc…then, maybe the relationship could work. But, it will be a difficult marriage if you are both devout, albeit in separate faiths, because that is not what marriage is to be. Faith should come before marriage, not marriage before faith. Loving each other should be secondary to how you worship God, and follow His Son. As a devout Catholic, I couldn’t imagine going through the motions at another church, to appease my husband…nor would I want to…and I wouldn’t want him going through the motions at mine. When kids come into play, you say that you will teach them both faiths, and then they can decide. That is a terribly confusing way to bring up kids, though. My dd who is 12, told me that she has a friend, and the parents are Jewish (dad) and mom is Catholic–and they celebrate both sets of holidays. How terribly confusing for those kids. They don’t mean it to be, but that is the end result.

I think that before you both continue to get more serious, I would pause and really reflect on what you want your marriage to be …do you really want your marriage to be about division, or unity? Not saying that interfaith marriages can’t work…but do you want a ‘workable’ marriage, or a marriage where you BOTH are walking on the same path, in every aspect of life, together. You will not be walking together in faith, if you marry. You will be going through the motions together, but not congruent. There’s a difference. I think your posting this here, tells me that you might not be sure if this could work out. I think it’s wise that you posted. I will take time later to read through the thread…and see what others have posted.

We are all brothers and sisters in Christ…but being a devout Catholic isn’t a hobby…isn’t something one can just change, and it’s is not a madmade religion. The Protestant ‘faith’ is manmade. A man, Luther, as we know, broke away from the Church, and began his OWN interpretation of the faith. The Pope is traced back to Saint Peter. Martin Luther is traced back to no one in the Bible. So, basic principles of our faith can be traced back to the Bible. From the outside looking in, Catholicism can seem a bit confusing…a bit too ritualistic…but once you explore it, you’ll see the ‘why’s’ of it.

Just my two cents. Hope that you reflect about this, and so does your bf, because I just don’t personally see a fulfilling marriage, if you are at odds with your husband’s faith. Yes, it can work, but again…I personally would like a marriage that did more than ‘work.’ I married a Catholic, I’m Catholic…and together, we walk the path of faith in unison. If you want a marriage to be connected in every single way, marrying someone who is Catholic, might not be a good option for you. If you want a marriage that ‘just works’ …is good ‘enough,’ then it won’t be a problem for you both. I think you both most likely, want more than just a ‘workable’ marriage.

 

[rolltidefan]

leBailey -

Thank you for your original post. I spoke with my husband in great detail about what you had posted and had him read it along with the rest of the thread. He had the exact opinion that I had and was just as concerned. We also let our two teens read your original post (not any of the responses) and asked them how they felt about your situation and if it was something they would consider when they decided on a spouse. From two teen’s point of view, they agreed that it was absolutely not an option for them to marry someone that was not Catholic. I explained to them that there are marriages between people that are not of the same religion that work just fine but not always. My 14 yr old son had the deepest thought of it all. He asked how someone could claim to love another with their whole heart and speak in the manor in which you do about his Church and his people. He also wondered if you spoke to him and his parents about your issues with the Catholic Church and made the “rat” and “wafer” remarks to them along with all of the other ugly remarks that were made in your original post. Again, thank you for your post as it has gone a long way in our home.

Shajek…I think this is a very good thread. I think it is great that you have such open communication with your children to be able to speak openly with them about this. This is also the way I am with my children. I think it is the best way to communicate within a family. HOWEVER, I can tell you that we say ALOT at times about what we would and wouldn’t do. I have learned a BIG LESSON and that is NEVER say NEVER. Years ago, I would have told you that I would have never married anybody out of my religious beliefs either, especially when I was a teenager and had such big dreams for myself. I can tell you also, my husband and I were great friends before we started dating. There were many conversations from him about he would only marry a Catholic and etc. At that time, I had only known of him to date Catholic women. SO now skip down a few years, well we BOTH ended up marrying each other. Something we said we would never do. I thank God everyday that I have him and hope he does the same. So anyway my point is, we never know what is in store for us and sometimes our plan is not God plans. I have seen many talk on here about marrying outside of faith and then the spouse converting, which is great and so that works. I also know that in my church we have several Catholics who have converted to my beliefs because of marriage and that is great. They are all still Christians. No other way to look at it. Again though, I think it is great that you speak with your children about this. Train a child up in the way he should go and when he is older he will not depart from it. Now I know some maybe saying, well your husband departed from the Catholic church…well yes he did from going to church there, but he never departed from Christ and he will tell you the teachings from the Catholic church also has not left him. I think Christ is pleased with this. Anyway, just my 2 cents!

 

[MCGar]

For all future posters. She apologized for using the ‘rat’ term. I know many posters don’t read through the whole thread before posting so this is why I’m typing big in hope this catches your eye. Also, no matter how well meaning many of you are, if a ton of people post back to her saying variations of the same thing then it gets to the point where it’s like dogpiling.
Yes, she’s been called on her remarks that are insulting and yes she’s been warned about how she feels will affect badly a mixed marriage.
So maybe we should now respond to her posts in a more engaging manner (which she asked for) instead of a lecturing manner (no matter how well meaning and sincere which many have been).
K?