I am new to Catholic Answers Forums, so forgive me if I’m not that articulate. I was away from the Catholic Church and the Sacraments for over 40 years, and by God’s grace, finally returned in 2014. During that 40 + years I completely quit going to church, then went to a protestant church (halfheartedly). Personal experiences during that time (including vehicle accident that came close to taking my life, birth of a preemie granddaughter, who is now completely healthy) reinforced my belief in God, His Graces and forgiveness.
Everything and everyone has a creator. As human beings, we create things. Logically, someone created us, and the universe. That would be God.
I’ll agree that the thought of death can be scary. As I grow older, I think about it a little more than I used to. I think its natural to have some anxiety over unknown things; Like what waits for us around the next corner? I am trying to prepare for that when the time comes. I pray, and try to do what is right and live my life as I should to honor Our Lord. I"m far from perfect, have my faults , fears, and problems like anyone else, but God walks with me, just like he does with you. That calms me.
God is real, friend. Find a good priest and go to Reconciliation. Talk to him about your fears and concerns. If you’re worried about going to confession after 7 years, don’t be. It took me 3 months to get the courage to go. When I told the Priest it had been 42 YEARS since my last Confession, he didn’t chastise me, he said “Welcome home.” The sins came out and at the end I asked if God could forgive me for the things I did repeatedly over the years, I was told “Of course, God forgives all.” A great burden was gone.
I hope my experience was of some help to you. Don’t give up. I’ll pray for you.