Confused about death!

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Gsr1988

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I am 29 year old male. I made my holy Communion and confirmation . Went to CCD classes as a young child also. It’s been 7 years since I’ve been to church. I think about dying all the time now and question if God is real. All these people that argue that God isn’t real are starting to make me think alot. I’m pretty scared of dying and not ever getting to see my loved ones again. Just dying and not existing is very scary. What can I do to stop these thoughts from running through my head and making me depressed? These has to be something that made this world and everything around us. Any advice?
 
I still am absolutely terrified about death! It’s the ultimate unknown. The honest truth is NO ONE knows what happens when you die, but we will all find out eventually. The key here is making the most of your life today, because tomorrow is promised to no one. Be a good, kind, forgiving person and love and forgive those around you. This is the best we can do, and to believe that there’s gotta be something better than this.
 
Hi. Your worries are why Christ came to earth for us all!

Life is full of uncertainty, and this doesn’t change even for the more devout of us. (Read up on Saint Mother Teresa’s own challenges). I’m presuming you are Catholic or in another Christian tradition.

The best way to challenge death is to live as joyous and holy a life as you can. Death wants you to be paralyzed. As Christians we believe that our soul is eternal–our body may die but our souls face our judgement with God and are either granted eternity with Him or are sent away. This is different from some other faiths, including Buddhism, which teaches that ultimately our souls don’t matter in the larger scheme of things.

Death is far less scary than an existence without God in hell. Your fear can be helpful in guiding you to seek God in good places and emulating Christ by caring for others. Visitng a church, conversations with a priest or religious are good starters. Don’t keep your fear bottled in but seek out additional answers and know that God will catch you when the time comes–and odds are, you have a lot of life ahead.
 
Have you ever been in the presence of someone who was passing away?
The first time I sat with someone who was dying, it was amazing— it struck me very forcefully as being very similar to childbirth. Of course, as a 29-year-old male, that analogy probably doesn’t help you very much, either… 😄
Both times I was able to sit with someone as they passed away, it was a privilege. It also felt like a very “thin” place, where you know that there’s more going on than what you’re capable of observing. You read in places that there’s not really a “veil” at all, no separation of this world from the afterlife. But because we’re limited by our senses, it can be hard to really grasp that concept, just like a baby in utero has no concept of mountains or airplanes or the moon.
But death, like childbirth, is hard to appreciate in the abstract. Neither is like what Hollywood makes it out to be. They’re both processes, with a definite goal in mind.
It’s good to be aware of your mortality. It’s bad to be crippled by it. It’s good to live your life mindful of the effects your choices will have on other people. God is Love. Did you spread God’s love to other people as much as possible? How did you serve God on earth?
People find what they’re looking for. Make sure you’re looking for the right things in the right places.
 
Who are “all these people” and why do you give them so much credence?
You know the truth, just live it and be at peace.
Get back to Church, go to confession, receive the Sacraments and live in a state of grace. NO matter what ha[ppens after that, you will do well.
Christ died for our sins. We ought to at least be grateful.
 
I think about death quite a bit in one way or another. I know quite a few atheists and humanists and it troubles me. Not because I don’t believe what I believe, but they often challenge me about my views.
I’m not at all into contemporary Christian music, but a band called Delirious had a song out a number of years ago now that had the lyric “If I die with no reward, then I know I’ll have peace cos I carried the sword” ( the sword being metaphorical of course)
It has stuck in the mind as a concept - that I can live for myself, or I can live for others, including God. If I die and there really isn’t anything more, I will still have lived a worthwhile life.
So what is there truly to fear? In fact the truth is that Christ trampled down death by death, so be at peace.
 
It may help to read “The Story of a Soul” the autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux. She faced a long period of the emptiness. Perhaps that is the fear and emptiness you are experiencing. Also you might read "Come Be My Light - the Private Writings of Mother Teresa. Both these saints suffered from what is called the Dark Night of the Soul. You might find comfort in understanding what these Saints felt. Another thought: It could be that you are suffering with depression and these thoughts are not the cause but the symptom. Don’t be afraid or to proud to find help.
 
Hi Gsr1988,

I’ve experienced a lot of the noise about God not being real and I’m about the same age so I think I know where you’re coming from. You’re right. Dying is scary. It’s downright terrifying. I went through the same questions that you seem to be going through.

Look at it this way.

People say that God doesn’t exist. Anyone with any scientific background will tell you that it is impossible to positively prove that something does not exist. You can only prove an existence of something. It is the height of hubris to state that just because you do not presently have undeniable proof that something exists then it does not exist. People thought Einstein was crazy when he theorized Black Holes. They thought that they couldn’t exist because they didn’t have the data that proved him right. Now, the LIGO labs in the US have proven without a doubt that Black Holes exist not once, but four times.

Second, science tells us that all data and information is collected based solely upon perspective. If God were to exist (and yes, from personal experience I can tell you He very much does) then it would be inherently impossible to positively prove his existence because He would exist outside of our possible perception of space and time because He, Himself, exists independent of space and time. We may look at examples of His working in the world, but we could not prove beyond doubt that it was Him. It must be taken on Faith.

Thirdly, as to life after death, I believe that there is too much evidence in the world of this to say that there is none. Look at the Saints and their miracles. Look at the apparitions of Our Lady and her prophecies. Again, we cannot prove that there is life after death because it is outside of our perspective. We must make the decision based upon Faith. Again, from personal experience I can tell you that there is definitely life after death. But take it as it is. Only you can believe.

God Bless,
Br. Ben
 
Go to confession and remain in a state of sanctifying grace so you can die a happy and holy death.
 
Dying doesn’t scare me. The thought of not accomplishing all of what I want to do is frustrating. The thought of leaving my husband and cats alone on earth is sad and I would worry about them. The thought of a painful terminal disease or painful torture is scary. The thought of Purgatory after death, which might involve pain, is a little scary, although I have confidence in Jesus and Mary. However, the actual death, as in shuffling off the earth, doesn’t scare me. As Peter Pan said, it seems like an awfully big adventure.
 
I hear you. As someone with allergies and poor lung function, I have had scares where I feared it would be an unexpected, young death.

What comforts me is humility. The truth is, God takes us in His time. We aren’t bad if we pass away before finishing our ambitions, or before a family member. It’s sad, and I pray to St. Joseph daily for a happy death that is not unexpected. But the responsibility is off of you, other than taking care of your health, praying, and not taking stupid risks, you are not in control. Your life is part of many generations of lives, and God is the one in control. Helps me to have the humility to see that. I pray to God not to let me die since people need me. And I want to help souls here as long as possible.
 
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Hope this message finds u well. While i cant say there was ever a time in my life that i doubted the existence of God i didnt think he knew or loved me and there were many decades of being lost beyond all hope so i understand that feeling of being ‘on a boat without a rudder.’ Its scary.

Pray for faith to believe. Study the lives of Saints that u relate to. Perhaps avoid ppl and things that bring u to question your faith as it grows for a time until youre stronger…then pray for discernment as to when to speak about your new found faith.

Maybe talk to a Priest about how u can form your faith and meet with him regularly to answer your questions.

About death…from my own experiences being close to it a few times…we take ourselves with us as we are in life after death. Like going from one room in the house to the next. Those experiences and others led to my conversion in my mid 30s.

I used to worry about death before my baptism…even seeking it to relieve my temporal suffering but then i realized thru those experiences that there is no escaping from myself. I learned the truth of what was causing my misery which was my own sin. As i take the necessary steps to ammend my life i feel much more peace about my place the next life.

St. Mathew 16

[24] Then Jesus said to his disciples: If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. [25] For he that will save his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for my sake, shall find it.

What that means to me is that should i live my earthly life by the ways/morals/values of this world focusing on storing up treasure here and rejecting God i will lose my place in the next life where there is true peace and joy. Suffering here teaches me many spiritual virtues. I have had a hard life. A tragic life actually …my crosses are hard to bear but i choose to bear them anyways because one of my only joys in life is my faith that should i live the rest of my natural days in accordance with Gods purpose and will for me then i can be in his glorious kingdom with Him and all the kind and good ppl of this world.

God bless
 
That’s a beautiful post. I’ve also been privileged to be with many people as they leave this world, and with many others at the moment of birth. Amidst all the stresses of both events, there is a great calmness.

Something that changed the way I thought about death happened when I was only 20 years old, and a student nurse (40 years ago). I was working in hospital and took breakfast to a delightful elderly lady who was in remission from cancer. She seemed well and not in pain. As I gave her the tray, she said “That music’s so lovely”.

I couldn’t hear any music. I picked up her radio headset, it was turned off. I asked her what was the music she could hear and she said “It’s like a choir of angel voices”.

I left the room, wondering what she was hearing. A quarter of an hour later, I went back to get her tray. She was still sitting bolt upright, but she had passed away. She had gone so peacefully, the other ladies in the room hadn’t even noticed.

To say that incident has stayed with me my whole life would be an understatement. I became a Catholic a few years ago, and now I’m quite sure that that lovely lady was being sung home by the angelic choir. May we all have such wonderful crossings to the next life!
 
I read a NDE where a guy said that death was like he had lived his whole life in a bubble at the bottom of the ocean, then one day it broke free and rose to the surface and bursted open into the sunlight.
 
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I am new to Catholic Answers Forums, so forgive me if I’m not that articulate. I was away from the Catholic Church and the Sacraments for over 40 years, and by God’s grace, finally returned in 2014. During that 40 + years I completely quit going to church, then went to a protestant church (halfheartedly). Personal experiences during that time (including vehicle accident that came close to taking my life, birth of a preemie granddaughter, who is now completely healthy) reinforced my belief in God, His Graces and forgiveness.

Everything and everyone has a creator. As human beings, we create things. Logically, someone created us, and the universe. That would be God.

I’ll agree that the thought of death can be scary. As I grow older, I think about it a little more than I used to. I think its natural to have some anxiety over unknown things; Like what waits for us around the next corner? I am trying to prepare for that when the time comes. I pray, and try to do what is right and live my life as I should to honor Our Lord. I"m far from perfect, have my faults , fears, and problems like anyone else, but God walks with me, just like he does with you. That calms me.

God is real, friend. Find a good priest and go to Reconciliation. Talk to him about your fears and concerns. If you’re worried about going to confession after 7 years, don’t be. It took me 3 months to get the courage to go. When I told the Priest it had been 42 YEARS since my last Confession, he didn’t chastise me, he said “Welcome home.” The sins came out and at the end I asked if God could forgive me for the things I did repeatedly over the years, I was told “Of course, God forgives all.” A great burden was gone.

I hope my experience was of some help to you. Don’t give up. I’ll pray for you.
 
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I was with my father in his hospital room when he passed away from cancer 2 years ago. At the time, it was one of the most painful experiences to watch my father’s life here end. But, looking back on it later, it was actually a healing experience for me, and gave my dad comfort by being there and not alone when he passed. When my Grandfather passed away 30 years prior, I was afraid to go see him in the hospital, he had a stroke about a month before and was not in good shape. I saw him once, then avoided going back to the hospital. He passed away with me not seeing him for two weeks. I vowed that was never going to happen again.

Before my dad died, he had asked me to get him a priest so he could confess and receive Sacraments. This was after my dad’s own departure from the Church for many years. The few days after Father visited, we prayed Rosary daily, and when he could no longer talk and was semi conscious, I prayed Rosary and held his hand. My family and I were there when he passed away, and I knew he was at peace.

The days before my dad had Confession and Communion, he kept telling me some truly terrifying things he would see just outside his room which I knew weren’t physically there. After the priest had visited, those visions stopped. I believe that was God’s grace calming my dad’s fears.

You are right that “Hollywood death” is nothing like the real thing. I just see that with God, we don’t have to fear.
 
You have faith. The problem is that you place your faith in those who tell you that there is nothing after bodily death. Can that be true? How would they know? No one who has ever had a near-death experience has stated that it was just… nothing.

On the other hand, how are you doing psychologically? Depression? Anxiety? Those are medical conditions that are 100% treatable. If you are basically fine, then you simply have a crisis of faith. What has occurred in your maturation process that caused you to lose the child-like faith of your youth?

Those you are listening to want you to believe less, not more. Does that make any sense?
 
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