Confused about Emotion vs Truth?

[zipperc98]

I have no idea if I am posting this in the right place (ha, how many threads are started like this?)…

attending RCIA, and this Sunday is the Rite of Acceptance…I have posted in many a thread about my current process…it’s complicated, frustrating, but like so many others have stated, the further in the process I go, the more I cannot imagine it any other way.

I guess I have a question, I hope I can word it properly. I have always struggled in doubts, a friend once said I seem to be borderline Agnostic at times. I think I am a weak person, I think is the reason for the constant doubts. Or perhaps all the times I have neglected praying, or seeking a spiritual life.

Anyway, I have been thinking about something, and curious if someone has an answer for me. I am leaving the LDS church, and I have struggled with trying to understand WHY I felt so strongly to join that church at one point, and why it is I now find myself not being able to believe it anymore. I still cannot understand why it was that, in my teens, when I was exploring a bit my faith life, that the Catholic church never stood out to me. My closest friends were Catholic, but not really believing (they went to appease their parents)…I always based my faith on what I felt. When I would visit the Catholic church, it was strange and I didn’t have an emotional response…I didn’t feel like the spirit was moving me, I guess is the way I would put it (I think that’s LDS terminology, but you catch my drift). I would attend my friend’s baptist church, and during revival like sermons I felt alive…an emotional response. My friend’s LDS church, I felt peaceful, and I felt like the people there cared…emotional response again.

SO, lets move forward to now. I have been drifting from the LDS church for a while…I think I can p(name removed by moderator)oint the time period MOST strongly to right after I had my daughter. A theory I have now is that I felt like something was missing from my life…I kept trying to find what was missing in aspects of the LDS church…the temple, church attendance/activities, and then when I got pregnant, I felt like I would find my place, and somehow find spirituality through motherhood. Well, surprise surprise, motherhood was harder than I realized. And, it seems that my faith never really fully recovered. Or perhaps it was shattered when I realized I couldn’t find truth anymore.

(Sorry, this is long winded,) In the past almost 2 years now, since I officially started to inquire of the Catholic church…and pray, it seems like it has been a gradual growth. Nothing like the LDS church, which was so fast and whirlwind. Circumstances now are a bit different of course…I am married, have a family, and it seems that so much is suddenly at stake through my beginning my official inquiry. For a bit over a year, the growing interest in the Catholic church basically stood still, as I tried to put the pieces back together in my life. I thought it should take a backburner.

But, I realize now how wrong of an approach this truly was. In 2 months I have felt closer to God than I can ever remember feeling in my entire life. EVEN more than in my LDS conversion.

I guess this is my question: I am trying to understand something. It seems like there are conflicting sentiments: The LDS church talks about a burning bosom, about that burning feeling of the Holy Spirit. It’s been a long time since I felt that there. So, of course, the LDS say if you feel that, it is the holy spirit. Yet, it seems now people are telling me that the same feeling, the burning of the bosom if you will, it presides in me now. I feel a pull too strong to ignore. As I said, the more time I spend in prayer, in studying and learning, the easier it is to find this solid stance…knowing what I am seeking is the truth, and that God is leading me. SO, many I have known in the Catholic church state I should rely on truth, not emotion (aka burning bosom). So, how am I supposed to tell the difference? I mean, if we want to talk about emotion, well, I am not exactly happy…as I stated, much of my life is still threatening to fall apart around me. I am in a lot of fear of persecution, and I admit to not always being strong and standing up for what I believe. So, somehow I am lonely of course, and frustrated often. But it is AMAZING the experiences I have felt as of lately. I cannot think of a prayer that has been unanswered recently. At least the things I felt urgent about. But is what I am feeling emotion? Why is it I am thinking, all of a sudden, that emotion is bad?

I don’t even know what I am asking. I hope somebody understands out there what I am trying to say…how do I know if what I am experiencing is Divine or just emotion? I mean, when I pray I know without doubts…but of course, rather quickly, the doubts seep in again. How do we know truth? How do we experience it?

Am I simply being crazy and overanalytical? Any help would be wonderful! This site is more family to me than most in my life…even if I don’t know many here, I have been able to come and realize how many others there are like me. It makes me feel less alone.

Thanks for reading and trying to understand my questions!

 

[Trishie]

Emotion isn’t bad, it’s part of our human nature, and our human nature is a wonderful gift from God. If you feel good emotions about becoming Catholic, that’s good, but if at any time you don’t that’s okay too. The sun is always there in the universe. Sometimes it’s shining on the other side of the world, and sometimes it can be hidden by clouds, like your emotions…but God, and the truth, is always there, just as is the sun.

My family and I certainly showed emotion last Sunday when my sister’s daughter-in-law receive her first communion. We all felt the emotion, she cried, with joy, so did her husband, my sister and I…

Jesus felt and showed emotions. He wept, He showed disappointment, He became lyrical…and if emotion is good for Him it is for us!

It’s understandable that you would see the glowing in the breast as important because of the tradition you come from, and you may be keyed to feel that, whereas I would probably simply recognise I was feeling happiness and joy, or that something felt right. That would only be a part of why I, and why you, would embrace the Catholic faith, and not as necessary as the inner conviction that it is truly the Church that Jesus Christ instituted.

You have the right to come to the Church in the particular way that your nature responds. You have the right to be you, as you are a unique creation of God. You won’t always have that glowing in the chest feeling, and I think Catholics want you to understand that not to feel it, is okay too. Perhaps, for now you can hold your particular response to yourself and not test it against other Catholics. You can work some things out as you go, with God. I can see that you intend to embrace the truths of the Church and the Sacraments, and this is the basic thing at present, to find out what the richness of the Church will bring to your life and soul. And if you rejoice as you do so, I’m sure God is praised by your joy!

 

[zipperc98]

Forgive me, I hope I didn’t sound insensitve or as though I was downplaying emotion.

I am a VERY emotional person in most areas of my life. I think I’m feeling confused because it feels like I have people telling me I can’t rely on my emotions…you know, when people tell you the heart can be misleading?

I guess I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t somehow leading myself somewhere, thinking it was God. I know plenty who judge others for not seeing things their way, and that somehow it isn’t true unless they believe it themself. Guess I’m sensitive.

Thanks for your thoughts!

 

[Trishie]

Oh no, I didn’t think that. I was trying to reassure you. Looking back over my post…I guess I was being overly enthusiastic and therefore didn’t come across as embracing. I did mean it lovingly and not with the least criticism intended. I am sorry.

 

[zipperc98]

You were fine…I know how hard it can be to read meaning through words…so I am worried I will say something lame or offensive without meaning to. So, wanted to make sure my intent was clear.

You didn’t sound harsh. I tend to be an overwhelming person in general…especially right now. My cup runneth over, and I think the flooding makes people run for safety.

I have an intense amount of emotion and experiences in me…it’s overwhelming and when it gets too much to take I tend to come here and babble on endlessly hoping someone will get it and breath a little calm back into me.

Thanks for a quick response.

 

[Trishie]

With the number of posts I’ve made, you can be sure I’ve made many ‘lame’ comments!
Sometimes I hit, sometimes I miss…but so far I’ve been forgiven! I think?!

Anyway, it’s lovely to have you here with us,
and wonderful that God is welcoming you towards the Catholic Church.
May God continue to bless you.

 

[zipperc98]

With the number of posts I’ve made, you can be sure I’ve made many ‘lame’ comments!
Sometimes I hit, sometimes I miss…but so far I’ve been forgiven! I think?!

LOL. Well, forgiviness is one of my better talents, so no worries here.

 

[Monica4316]

I’ve wondered a lot about this too

I think that if you trust God and pray, and as a result of this, you feel Him leading you to Catholicism, it’s good to just trust that. If when you feel peaceful, you feel you should be Catholic, and your faith is growing and you’re coming closer to God, that’s a good sign too. look at the “fruits”… has Catholicism brought you closer to God? when you pray, does that result in you becoming more Catholic? that is more than emotion certainly we can experience God’s grace emotionally, but we can experience it in other ways as well, or sometimes we don’t feel it at all but we see its effects in how it changes us. If this has strengthened your faith and love for God, or even just gave you a desire to pray and seek Him more, that’s a grace. That’s just my understanding… but it’s based on what some priests have told me, and on Catholic books.

God bless