C
cmscms
Guest
OK, I feel really embarrased to post the following but I need to be honest.
Very often, I feel like there is a little kid inside of me that is kicking and screaming ‘Please don’t make me do God’s will’. I would much rather try and do things my way. The main reason is because I want to have things I believe would make me happy. I can’t help but think that God’s will is for me to be unhappy. (writing it out makes it sound stupid and I am sure people reading this are probably rolling their eyes but I do need to be honest with my inner most thoughs)
For example, I would like to advance my career and I have the education to do so. Yet, I go on countless interviews and apply for countless jobs with no success. I think that on the one hand, God gave me talents to use and I should put them to use. Yet, I can’t help but think God wants me it a no fun job with not good money because He just doesn’t care to see me prosper.
It seems to me, I have 2 ways to look at it. 1-) there is something inately flawed in me so I can’t move up the latter. or 2-) God just doesn’t want me to prosper. Both options hurt.
Usually, when I pray for God’s will, I hear nothing in the sense that there is a ‘block’ that is preventing me from hearing Him. Well recently on a couple of occasions, it felt like there was a void. Like God did not have a will for me. And that is scary since (in my opinion), if you have finished doing God’s will, it means your time here on earth is almost over.
Yet, I also believe when your time on earth is almost over, there is also a sense of happiness that you will shortly see God. Since I am not overly happy, I think I will have more time on earth.
So basically, how does one submit to God’s will. Is it a Catholic view to see Him as the master and us as the servants (is there even a difference between a servant and a slave?)
So, prayers that God could help me follow his will would be appreciated. As well as people sharing how they feel about God’s will
Thanks
CM
Very often, I feel like there is a little kid inside of me that is kicking and screaming ‘Please don’t make me do God’s will’. I would much rather try and do things my way. The main reason is because I want to have things I believe would make me happy. I can’t help but think that God’s will is for me to be unhappy. (writing it out makes it sound stupid and I am sure people reading this are probably rolling their eyes but I do need to be honest with my inner most thoughs)
For example, I would like to advance my career and I have the education to do so. Yet, I go on countless interviews and apply for countless jobs with no success. I think that on the one hand, God gave me talents to use and I should put them to use. Yet, I can’t help but think God wants me it a no fun job with not good money because He just doesn’t care to see me prosper.
It seems to me, I have 2 ways to look at it. 1-) there is something inately flawed in me so I can’t move up the latter. or 2-) God just doesn’t want me to prosper. Both options hurt.
Usually, when I pray for God’s will, I hear nothing in the sense that there is a ‘block’ that is preventing me from hearing Him. Well recently on a couple of occasions, it felt like there was a void. Like God did not have a will for me. And that is scary since (in my opinion), if you have finished doing God’s will, it means your time here on earth is almost over.
Yet, I also believe when your time on earth is almost over, there is also a sense of happiness that you will shortly see God. Since I am not overly happy, I think I will have more time on earth.
So basically, how does one submit to God’s will. Is it a Catholic view to see Him as the master and us as the servants (is there even a difference between a servant and a slave?)
So, prayers that God could help me follow his will would be appreciated. As well as people sharing how they feel about God’s will
Thanks
CM