Confused About Impure Thoughts

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“Not another if these threads!” Well, I feel this one is slightly different.

Today I was the reader at Mass. When the Eucharistic Ministers came up a woman stood right in front of me. I absolutely did not want to think impure thoughts. As a result of focusing on not thinking such thoughts, my minds eye tried undressing her. I kept thinking things along the lines of “Get away Satan!” and “No no no” These words did nothing to banish the images. Finally I also shouted to God and screamed mentally asking God for help or something and this finally caused the images to cease. I guess this indicates that I did not consent, but I find myself doubting my judgement possibly due to the fact that my body kept trying to arouse itself when I did not want it to.

Later I received the Eucharist because I figured I did not consent or something. When she passed me the Blood of our Lord I began to be aroused again. I’m fairly confident that I didn’t want to be aroused, but I could be wrong.

When Mass was closing I started doubting my judgements. “What if I did consent and I just don’t really understand or remember the details right?” As I am writing this sentence I recall what a Priest said in Confession once “Sin is a crossroad…” or something like that. This brings me some comfort as we have to actively choose which path we take. If Satan tries dragging us down a path while we don’t want to, it seems we didn’t consent, and thus, no sin was committed.

Sorry for rambling on. 😊

EDIT: I took a look at an examination of concience I printed out and the thing says “…encouraged and entertained impure thoughts…” or something. I’m not 100% sure what that means but I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that so I guess I’m good to go. 😃
 
Melodeonist said:
“Not another if these threads!” Well, I feel this one is slightly different.

Today I was the reader at Mass. When the Eucharistic Ministers came up a woman stood right in front of me. I absolutely did not want to think impure thoughts. As a result of focusing on not thinking such thoughts, my minds eye tried undressing her. I kept thinking things along the lines of “Get away Satan!” and “No no no” These words did nothing to banish the images. Finally I also shouted to God and screamed mentally asking God for help or something and this finally caused the images to cease. I guess this indicates that I did not consent, but I find myself doubting my judgement possibly due to the fact that my body kept trying to arouse itself when I did not want it to.

Later I received the Eucharist because I figured I did not consent or something. When she passed me the Blood of our Lord I began to be aroused again. I’m fairly confident that I didn’t want to be aroused, but I could be wrong.

When Mass was closing I started doubting my judgements. “What if I did consent and I just don’t really understand or remember the details right?” As I am writing this sentence I recall what a Priest said in Confession once “Sin is a crossroad…” or something like that. This brings me some comfort as we have to actively choose which path we take. If Satan tries dragging us down a path while we don’t want to, it seems we didn’t consent, and thus, no sin was committed.

Sorry for rambling on. 😊

EDIT: I took a look at an examination of concience I printed out and the thing says “…encouraged and entertained impure thoughts…” or something. I’m not 100% sure what that means but I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that so I guess I’m good to go. 😃
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Simplest thing to do is go to Confession. Your priest will be the one to answer that.

As an aside when you mention Eucharistic Ministers came up I assume you meant the priest because the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (EMHC) are not Eucharistic Ministers.
 
To re post an old post of mine:

UNWANTED THOUGHTS

All sorts of thoughts can happen to us out of the blue…

(not sought…they just happen…one does not want them…they may even be rather annoying…)

Be they impure etc etc

The fact that a thought happened to one- does not mean per se there was any sin.

And for mortal sin one needs not only grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate (complete) consent…

Just cause a thought happened to you does not mean there was any sin. Let alone mortal sin.

Just calmly turn to something good…
Now…

For the next few moments --try real hard NOT to think of an Apple.

then scroll down.

What did you think of?

An apple.

Even though your will was against it (you did not want to think of an apple!)

Now back to unwanted thoughts…

The more you fear and try hard not to have them…the more they will likely come and bother you.

One finds this noted even in spiritual works from many centuries ago…

The best thing to do with such thoughts is not to fight them directly --not fear that they will come—simply do not consent and simply and calmly turn to something else…(or it may be best to keep doing the good thing one is doing…like they come out of the blue when your at work …keep working…keep praying …etc)

It is an age old trouble that can happen - as one can find in spiritual works down through the ages.

There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…(then basically he said his task was not to consent…if they should happen…hence I would add one would turn to something else that is good…).

Ignore such unwanted thoughts like one would ignore a hissing goose or a barking dog. One does not stop to argue with a hissing goose or a barking dog does one? No one keeps on walking…

(as noted above the image there comes from a Carthusian Monk from centuries ago…)

Bottom line: Ignore such unwanted thoughts and do not fear them…just calmly turn to something good.
 
thistle said:
Simplest thing to do is go to Confession. Your priest will be the one to answer that.

As an aside when you mention Eucharistic Ministers came up I assume you meant the priest because the Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion (EMHC) are not Eucharistic Ministers.
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Thanks for notifying me! I did not know there was a difference. The people who came up were the people who give out the Body and Blood of Christ who aren’t the Priest or Deacon.

I’m not sure if I was thinking of asking Father for a quick confession after Mass or not. I guess I didn’t ask him for confession because I figured that I was probably good to go.
 
You would apply the three aspects needed for mortal sin…your Priest can yes assist one in such of one has difficulty judging a particular case.
That said let me post an older post of mine that can be helpful as you go forward when “unwanted thoughts” happen to one…

UNWANTED THOUGHTS

All sorts of thoughts can happen to us out of the blue…

(not sought…they just happen…one does not want them…they may even be rather annoying…)

Be they impure etc etc

The fact that a thought happened to one- does not mean per se there was any sin.

And for mortal sin one needs not only grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate (complete) consent…

Just cause a thought happened to you does not mean there was any sin. Let alone mortal sin.

Just calmly turn to something good…
Now…

For the next few moments --try real hard NOT to think of an Apple.

then scroll down.

What did you think of?

An apple.

Even though your will was against it (you did not want to think of an apple!)

Now back to unwanted thoughts…

The more you fear and try hard not to have them…the more they will likely come and bother you.

One finds this noted even in spiritual works from many centuries ago…

The best thing to do with such thoughts is not to fight them directly --not fear that they will come—simply do not consent and simply and calmly turn to something else…(or it may be best to keep doing the good thing one is doing…like they come out of the blue when your at work …keep working…keep praying …etc)

It is an age old trouble that can happen - as one can find in spiritual works down through the ages.

There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…(then basically he said his task was not to consent…if they should happen…hence I would add one would turn to something else that is good…).

Ignore such unwanted thoughts like one would ignore a hissing goose or a barking dog. One does not stop to argue with a hissing goose or a barking dog does one? No one keeps on walking…

(as noted above the image there comes from a Carthusian Monk from centuries ago…)

Bottom line: Ignore such unwanted thoughts and do not fear them…just calmly turn to something good.
 
Melodeonist said:
“Not another if these threads!” Well, I feel this one is slightly different.

Today I was the reader at Mass. When the Eucharistic Ministers came up a woman stood right in front of me. I absolutely did not want to think impure thoughts. As a result of focusing on not thinking such thoughts, my minds eye tried undressing her. …
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Sexual attraction is natural, and is a sign that God is calling you to marriage. Resisting attraction for resistance sake is a path to failure. Understanding that attraction is a mechanism meant to glorify God will help you temperate your feelings.
 
Noticing a woman and being aroused is completely involuntary. Consent in this case would have been if you had said to yourself “screw it, she’s hot and I’m going for it” and stared at her butt (or whatever). You’re fine.

Incidentally, the more you try to fight sexual thoughts, the more they assert themselves. If you find yourself thinking, “Man, that woman has a nice (whatever)…” just tell yourself, “Yup, she does. Alright, moving on…” and calmly turn your attention to something else.

Will you please get a spiritual director already?
 
Melodeonist said:
“Not another if these threads!” Well, I feel this one is slightly different.

Today I was the reader at Mass. When the Eucharistic Ministers came up a woman stood right in front of me. I absolutely did not want to think impure thoughts. As a result of focusing on not thinking such thoughts, my minds eye tried undressing her. I kept thinking things along the lines of “Get away Satan!” and “No no no” These words did nothing to banish the images. Finally I also shouted to God and screamed mentally asking God for help or something and this finally caused the images to cease. I guess this indicates that I did not consent, but I find myself doubting my judgement possibly due to the fact that my body kept trying to arouse itself when I did not want it to.

Later I received the Eucharist because I figured I did not consent or something. When she passed me the Blood of our Lord I began to be aroused again. I’m fairly confident that I didn’t want to be aroused, but I could be wrong.

When Mass was closing I started doubting my judgements. “What if I did consent and I just don’t really understand or remember the details right?” As I am writing this sentence I recall what a Priest said in Confession once “Sin is a crossroad…” or something like that. This brings me some comfort as we have to actively choose which path we take. If Satan tries dragging us down a path while we don’t want to, it seems we didn’t consent, and thus, no sin was committed.

Sorry for rambling on. 😊

EDIT: I took a look at an examination of concience I printed out and the thing says “…encouraged and entertained impure thoughts…” or something. I’m not 100% sure what that means but I’m pretty sure I didn’t do that so I guess I’m good to go. 😃
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While I think it’s noble for you to realize it was wrong, I wonder if you are not getting to the root, and instead covering it up with piety? You want me to say to you, all is well, you did what you ought, but rather, I question you, why did you do what you did in the first place? What belief lies under all this that allowed you to do this to another? That is where you should be spending your time, not in lots of action that is fluff and whitewash, albeit noble gestures. What really matters is what us in the heart. If something bubbles up to the surface that is most unpleasant to find within yourself, instead of being frightened about its existence there and trying to hide it (from yourself) show it to God and weep about what it is and rather ask God to show you this wisdom of why it was wrong and give you the humility to fully extract it from your heart.

By the way, this does not mean you cut off any sexual feelings, but rather hone and prune those aspects of self to grow in a fashion that is right, so that in time it won’t be a problem ( mostly, as things can get out of shape later and need correction). Think more of sin as an infection or virus that your body needs to figure out how to get rid of it or stop it from entering in the first place. Fear of God is good, and often in the beginnings we can fear our sins and try and hide it from others, from God and from ourselves. Rather, just go to God in trust and love, like a good shepherd and loving Father who will guide us to what is whole and truly good, not cut off, not maimed, but using a faculty of self in the right way.

I hope this helped. You definitely did not consent, as it sounds like you were fighting it with might, but until the underlying issue is exposed and dissected and healed, this may continue to happen. I find when things like this happen, it’s God’s way of pointing out and letting me see a weakness I need to sort out from within. It might be painful, but if you are trying and committing oneself entirely to God’s will, give thanks to God for it!..it being the difficulty, not the sinfulness.
 
@Meleo:

Don’t be disturbed. Just mention it to your priest-confessor and he’ll give you the advice you need, and in a way much better than what we can. Here you’ll either find helpful advice or judgement, but none of us can affect you in the way you priest-confessor can. Having a regular priest-confessor is extremely good for you, not just for confessing sins but for discussing your overall spiritual life.

Being tempted with impurity is normal and - if it’s only a temptation - even good, because this perfects us. God permits young men to suffer this temptation because of the many graces it brings that would not be gained if you had little passion. One of the best or the best thing you can do when you’re tempted to view a woman lustfully is to say a prayer for her. Thank God for creating her and pray for her to fulfill whatever God has in mind for her and for her to be able to go for Heaven. Although we don’t think of it at the time, because lust is like a drug and drugs take away our common sense, if we think of doing impure things with a woman, we’re not just dreaming of doing something that would debase & condemn ourselves, but would debase & condemn her, and we shouldn’t want either of those things. We should want only the best for ourselves and for others.

“Lately I was near the beehives and some of the bees flew onto my face. I wanted to raise my hand, and brush them off. ‘No,’ said a peasant to me, ‘do not be afraid, and do not touch them. They will not sting you at all, if you touch them they will bite you.’ I trusted him; not one bit me. Trust me; do not fear these temptations. Do not touch them; they will not hurt you.”

St. Francis de Sales
 
runningdude said:
Sexual attraction is natural, and is a sign that God is calling you to marriage. Resisting attraction for resistance sake is a path to failure. Understanding that attraction is a mechanism meant to glorify God will help you temperate your feelings.
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👍
 
My confessor (a Dominican monk) told me that in my case (being unmarried and all) I should remember to thank God for his gift to me, that being the gift of sexual pleasure and for all his beautiful creation.
I was told to do my best not to fall into masturbation to often and to do my best not to watch pornography.
I asked him if I could take communion when if I fall into this sin and he ensured me that I was permitted to do so.

This is a living example of why you must talk this over with father and not just read and interpret the catechism on your own. Get spiritual guidance.

Thing is that there are more to the catechism than just plain old reading it straight forward. Talk your lustful problems over with father and I’m sure he’ll guide you. Sexuality is libidos and is a tremendous gift from God, try not to be ashamed please.
How should we marry one another if it weren’t for sexual attraction?

Desire to reproduce is a deep desire willed and created by God.

Pax Christi
 
As long as you didn’t tell her that you’re a self-taught accordionist, you’re fine.
 
Melodeonist said:
“Not another if these threads!” Well, I feel this one is slightly different.

Later I received the Eucharist because I figured I did not consent or something. When she passed me the Blood of our Lord I began to be aroused again. I’m fairly confident that I didn’t want to be aroused, but I could be wrong.

😃
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Melo- When I was a 16 year old boy in a Catholic High School, we had to go to confession (or risk the wrath of Sister Mary Discipline!) every Friday. In the church, the confessionals were on both sides of the sanctuary. I made my confession, knelt in a pew, and said the penance assigned. As I was praying, I was looking at three very attractive, (and nicely put together) classmates. I knelt there for a few minutes, got back up and stepped into the confessional. I then said, "bless me father for I have sinned, it has be about ten minutes since my last confession. I swear I heard the Monsignor laughing.

I’ve grown and matured in my faith and understanding since that confession.

As one poster has said, human sexual desire is natural. I have said this before, but we are wired that way, and God did the wiring. Desire only becomes lust when one consciously infuses it with both malice and intent. If your thoughts lead you to a malicious intent to abuse yourself or another, to objectify a person, it becomes lust. As someone suggested, fine a good spiritual advisor or confessor and talk your concerns out.

Oh, and tell him about the kid that set the record for least time between confessions. He might get a laugh out of it too. :rolleyes::rolleyes:
 
Here is a “dirty” little secret. Unless you are asexual, everyone is subject to impure thoughts or desires at one time or another: Nuns, Sisters, Priest, Brothers, lay people, single people-most “normal” people. It is how you react or over-react that is what counts. That you tried to vacate your mind and senses is commendable. Just tell Father at your next confession. He has heard it all and then some. Peace.
 
I guess I’m the odd person out.
It’s normal to have sexual thought now and then,

But undressing someone with your eyes at MASS??? :eek:

I’m sorry. That’s not normal. You really need a Spiritual Director to discuss some of these odd thoughts you have regarding sex and sexual contact., You’ve mentioned them before in other threads.
But this is way beyond what you should be feeling at your age.

Your thoughts at Mass should be on Christ.
 
Nope, you are not the only one Clare.

If you are thinking about a woman and undressing her in your mind as you are awaiting Communion, your mind is not in the right place. You are supposed to be thinking about Our Lord, that you will soon be receiving in the Eucharist.

I understand everything others have said about it being normal, human, involuntary. I agree, **but not at mass. ** The fact that it is happening during mass is the concern.

Again. Get a spiritual director that will be able to advise you on all of your questions, your problems with scruples, your many actual problems. He will learn your history and be able to advise you because you will tell him your full history, not like people on the internet that do not know you, or Are unaware of your previous posting history and issues.
 
Gonna take a wild guess and say he will ignore the spiritual director advice.
 
pianistclare said:
I guess I’m the odd person out.
It’s normal to have sexual thought now and then,

But undressing someone with your eyes at MASS??? :eek:

I’m sorry. That’s not normal. You really need a Spiritual Director to discuss some of these odd thoughts you have regarding sex and sexual contact., You’ve mentioned them before in other threads.
But this is way beyond what you should be feeling at your age.

Your thoughts at Mass should be on Christ.
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I want to go a little further.

I have been reading your threads, melodinist for a while.

You have stated you would not be called to marriage and one reason was your disgust at the thought of pro creation via the marital act, disgust of the act, you even expressed repulsive thoughts of your parents having consented to pro creation. I wont find the threads, no time ATM.

Remember one of your arguments for your Priesthood?

But to actively go from one position of repulsion to this, indicates there is something NQR in your thoughts and feelings of the physical aspects of us.

I will pray for you 🙏

You really need to be discussing this history with a professional.
 
Roseeurekacross said:
I want to go a little further.

I have been reading your threads, melodinist for a while.

You have stated you would not be called to marriage and one reason was your disgust at the thought of pro creation via the marital act, disgust of the act, you even expressed repulsive thoughts of your parents having consented to pro creation. I wont find the threads, no time ATM.

Remember one of your arguments for your Priesthood?

But to actively go from one position of repulsion to this, indicates there is something NQR in your thoughts and feelings of the physical aspects of us.

I will pray for you 🙏

You really need to be discussing this history with a professional.
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👍
 
I suspect “undressing her in my mind at mass” is figurative speech and that he refers to a sexual thoughtpattern that got trigged due to suppressed sexuality in general.

Christ says it’s the sick who needs a doctor and I’m not inclined to implicate that finding someone attractive and finding oneself aroused by the momentarily idea of seeing that someone fully naked and exposed is mortally sinful or even venial.
You and I are both sick, all people are and so we need communion.

We lust for the opposite sex for a reason and its that drive that makes us reprocreate and fill the earth with disciples. Sexuality in a normal person is a gift from God, a gift we shouldn’t condemn but rather be thankful for.

God gave us our sexuality as a gift, a great gift. As a heterosexual male without a wife its only natural for you to long for a woman to marry and start a family with. If you weren’t I would be more concerned that I am reading this.

Pax Christi
 
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