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Irishmom2
Guest
He has every other time we have told him.
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Irishmom2
Guest
You really need to be familiar with his past posting history. Responses to this post of his only, do not cover the whole complexity of the problem.
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CactusVsBaloon
Guest
I only respond to what I run across to be honest. I’m not spending much time at CAF anymore. If there is this complexity involved then OP should take my advice with a pinch of salt.
I’m just so sad to visit caf to see all the sexual condemnation all of the time. Lots of lots of people seems to think Satan is behind lust where its actually a gift from God. It’s a pushing factor in our nature that if nurtured rightly may help us to discern our vocation to marriage.
There are expressions of sexuality that are sinful obviously, but the urge itself is sacred.
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pianistclare
Guest
But that’s the point. He has said he find the idea of sex repulsive. That, in itself, is not normal.
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Crusaderbear
Guest
You are in God’s House. Next time keep your thoughts to she’s pretty. Look elsewhere, sing the songs, but clear your head. What you describe is way past a random thought!
Socializing more with women might help as well, see them as people, not objects.
Go to confession. Praying you can work this one out!
Socializing more with women might help as well, see them as people, not objects.
Go to confession. Praying you can work this one out!
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Melodeonist
Guest
Oh dear. I feel I have confused people. I did not want to think these thoughts. I was afraid I might think them as the woman was right in front of me while I was kneeling. By not wanting to think the thoughts my brain created an intrusive thought. It’s not like I wanted any thoughts of this sort. But what do I know. 
I’ve gotten better at not thinking of women as objects I think. By talking to the women at work like I talk to the men (before I tried avoiding talking to the young women out of fear of being aroused.) I feel socializing with them has helped somewhat reduce the “auto-arousal” I used to expirence. I probably used to experience the “auto-arousal” more because I never had a sister and I pretty much only interacted with older women (I did “voulunteer” at a local museum’s kids group that pretty much only had girls in it when I was younger, but I used to be rather shy back then – now I am an extrovert – so I never really talked to them.) I also feel another cause of the issue I feel I am slowly but surely overcoming is that in my sinful days before I was Catholic I used to look at impure images and commit self abuse. Fortunately, I quit cold turkey (if I’m not mistaken) and haven’t committed self abuse for years.
I will try to get a spiritual director when my current college semester ends on May 15th. Perhaps Father or the Deacon will do it. If not, then there’s always an abbey near by. Perhaps I could get the Mother or a Sister to be my spiritual director. I’m eager to ask whomever the spiritual director may be questions and help me grow closer to God.
On a side note, I don’t feel called to marriage for many reasons. I have never dated (when I was a kid aged around 8-11 I thought I dated girls, but I really didn’t know what dating was as I wasn’t attracted to the fairer sex back then) as I have no interest in doing so. I also don’t really want to have kids, I’d rather have a dog. The only reason I’d ever want kids is to pass along my family name and DNA and that seems like a very wrong reason to have kids. I don’t find normal intimate relations gross, only oral sex and other unnatural acts. I also like being free to make my own choices in life as long as they follow God’s law, not what somebody I’m marrying tells me to do. In short, I’m really just not interested. I know I’d be happiest being single, or as a Priest or friar. If friars could have hobbies playing music and collecting vintage items, then I’d probably feel called to be a friar. Although I do feel a somewhat strong calling to be a Priest. I’m not sure, but I feel that I give off a cheerful or charismatic demeanor in the offline world as people often say I’m a kind person. Perhaps I am called to be a Priest. Many people have suggested being a Priest, including a seminarian saying I should consider asking Father about spiritual direction about judging if I should be a Priest. Whatever God wills.
I’ve gotten better at not thinking of women as objects I think. By talking to the women at work like I talk to the men (before I tried avoiding talking to the young women out of fear of being aroused.) I feel socializing with them has helped somewhat reduce the “auto-arousal” I used to expirence. I probably used to experience the “auto-arousal” more because I never had a sister and I pretty much only interacted with older women (I did “voulunteer” at a local museum’s kids group that pretty much only had girls in it when I was younger, but I used to be rather shy back then – now I am an extrovert – so I never really talked to them.) I also feel another cause of the issue I feel I am slowly but surely overcoming is that in my sinful days before I was Catholic I used to look at impure images and commit self abuse. Fortunately, I quit cold turkey (if I’m not mistaken) and haven’t committed self abuse for years.
I will try to get a spiritual director when my current college semester ends on May 15th. Perhaps Father or the Deacon will do it. If not, then there’s always an abbey near by. Perhaps I could get the Mother or a Sister to be my spiritual director. I’m eager to ask whomever the spiritual director may be questions and help me grow closer to God.
On a side note, I don’t feel called to marriage for many reasons. I have never dated (when I was a kid aged around 8-11 I thought I dated girls, but I really didn’t know what dating was as I wasn’t attracted to the fairer sex back then) as I have no interest in doing so. I also don’t really want to have kids, I’d rather have a dog. The only reason I’d ever want kids is to pass along my family name and DNA and that seems like a very wrong reason to have kids. I don’t find normal intimate relations gross, only oral sex and other unnatural acts. I also like being free to make my own choices in life as long as they follow God’s law, not what somebody I’m marrying tells me to do. In short, I’m really just not interested. I know I’d be happiest being single, or as a Priest or friar. If friars could have hobbies playing music and collecting vintage items, then I’d probably feel called to be a friar. Although I do feel a somewhat strong calling to be a Priest. I’m not sure, but I feel that I give off a cheerful or charismatic demeanor in the offline world as people often say I’m a kind person. Perhaps I am called to be a Priest. Many people have suggested being a Priest, including a seminarian saying I should consider asking Father about spiritual direction about judging if I should be a Priest. Whatever God wills.
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Oneofthewomen
Guest
I agree with Clare, Irishmom & Rose.
This is just too twisted. I am starting to think our OP is yanking our chains.
In one thread he never wants to get married because the whole idea of sex, love and companionship make him ill, yet in this thread he is complaining about being sexually aroused during Mass, by and EMHC.
I’m sorry but, REALLY?|?
OP, you need help. Professional help- both spiritual and psychological.
This is just too twisted. I am starting to think our OP is yanking our chains.
In one thread he never wants to get married because the whole idea of sex, love and companionship make him ill, yet in this thread he is complaining about being sexually aroused during Mass, by and EMHC.
I’m sorry but, REALLY?|?
OP, you need help. Professional help- both spiritual and psychological.
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pianistclare
Guest
Who said you wanted them?Oh dear. I feel I have confused people. I did not want to think these thoughts. I was afraid I might think them as the woman was right in front of me while I was kneeling. By not wanting to think the thoughts my brain created an intrusive thought. It’s not like I wanted any thoughts of this sort. But what do I know.
I’ve gotten better at not thinking of women as objects I think. By talking to the women at work like I talk to the men (before I tried avoiding talking to the young women out of fear of being aroused.) I feel socializing with them has helped somewhat reduce the “auto-arousal” I used to expirence. I probably used to experience the “auto-arousal” more because I never had a sister and I pretty much only interacted with older women (I did “voulunteer” at a local museum’s kids group that pretty much only had girls in it when I was younger, but I used to be rather shy back then – now I am an extrovert – so I never really talked to them.) I also feel another cause of the issue I feel I am slowly but surely overcoming is that in my sinful days before I was Catholic I used to look at impure images and commit self abuse. Fortunately, I quit cold turkey (if I’m not mistaken) and haven’t committed self abuse for years.
I will try to get a spiritual director when my current college semester ends on May 15th. Perhaps Father or the Deacon will do it. If not, then there’s always an abbey near by. Perhaps I could get the Mother or a Sister to be my spiritual director. I’m eager to ask whomever the spiritual director may be questions and help me grow closer to God.
On a side note, I don’t feel called to marriage for many reasons. I have never dated (when I was a kid aged around 8-11 I thought I dated girls, but I really didn’t know what dating was as I wasn’t attracted to the fairer sex back then) as I have no interest in doing so. I also don’t really want to have kids, I’d rather have a dog. The only reason I’d ever want kids is to pass along my family name and DNA and that seems like a very wrong reason to have kids. I don’t find normal intimate relations gross, only oral sex and other unnatural acts. I also like being free to make my own choices in life as long as they follow God’s law, not what somebody I’m marrying tells me to do. In short, I’m really just not interested. I know I’d be happiest being single, or as a Priest or friar. If friars could have hobbies playing music and collecting vintage items, then I’d probably feel called to be a friar. Although I do feel a somewhat strong calling to be a Priest. I’m not sure, but I feel that I give off a cheerful or charismatic demeanor in the offline world as people often say I’m a kind person. Perhaps I am called to be a Priest. Many people have suggested being a Priest, including a seminarian saying I should consider asking Father about spiritual direction about judging if I should be a Priest. Whatever God wills.
The fact that you are having them, at inappropriate times, and think of women as purely sexual objects is what we are talking about. And before you say we’ve got it wrong, we’re getting ALL of this from your past posts.
Please get yourself together.
Priests are not made out of people who think sex is disgusting.
The world and the Church do not need priests with such bizarre thoughts. A vocations director would have serious issues with this whole thing. How in the world would you counsel a married couple?
No shame in being single.
But get a grip on your mental health first.
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Irishmom2
Guest
Look, there is a whole lot more to being a priest than not wanting to get married. When someone says they don’t want to get married, people often throw the idea of bring a priest out there. Usually, they do so without really thinking. Becoming a priest is not a second best option. It’s not what you do because you don’t want to do something else.
Lots of guys are cheerful, kind or charismatic. It doesn’t mean they should become a priest.
You don’t become a friar because they might have more time for hobbies.
Honestly, you don’t exactly have a command of Catholicism yet that you should even consider thinking about the priesthood. You are a fairly recent convert that has proven that your knowledge of Catholicism is confused, inadequate and in some instances, incorrect.
So do yourself a favor and concentrate on learning more before contemplating anything more about the priesthood.
I am glad you will look into getting a spiritual director, but I agree that you might benefit from psychological counseling as well, as someone suggested earlier. You need help to sort a lot of things out.
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exnihilo
Guest
You can’t help involuntary thoughts even at Mass. Absent a special grace Mass doesn’t offer protection from involuntary thoughts. This is something many more women ought to consider when dressing themselves for Mass. A short skirt or revealing top doesn’t magically not cause the natural male response just because he is at Mass. Someone with an anxious mind or OCD can easily have real trouble battling involuntary thoughts even at Mass.
You are right the urge is not sinful. But lust is always sinful. The urge isn’t lust but dwelling on it is.
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CactusVsBaloon
Guest
Not always, there are factor such as addiction and habit that may lessen the sinfulness to a bare minimum.
There is a reason why my confessor adviced me as he did.
The Obsession with sexuality is a heritage of St. Augustine which we all know were influenced heavily by New Platonianism .
Sexuality can be sinful obviously, but Im quite sure a thought or a more or less rarely and involuntar wanker doesnt send you to hell.
It makes no sense… ’
As emphasized by the Holy Father Papa Francis, the gravest of all sins is not to trust in Gods mercy. Christ died for us, shed his blood for us, he loves us more than we can ever grasp.
JoeFreedom
New member
JoeFreedom
New member
Thank you exnihilo for your comment.
While I will not comment about the OP’s past history of posting, I will emphatically state that I can understand what he (the OP) is going through. My past was nothing close to moral, and because of that, I will continually suffer the consequences of always having those memories embedded within my mind. This makes for more opportunities for impure thoughts to arise and it makes it all the more difficult to control*, and as exnihilo wonderfully states, just because one is at Mass, does not mean the mind is turned off. Particularly with the way some women dress. Additionally, some men are more prone to having higher sexual drives than others. Please consider these things when responding to our OP. Try to do it with charity.
*With time, it can get better, and one can refocus more quickly, especially with continual prayer, more frequent confessions, and a closer relationship with Jesus (as it has for me).
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