Confused about modest dressing,need advice

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anneramones

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Hello.I hope you can help me with some confusion regarding how catholic young women should dress.
I always dressed following my personal sense of decency but since I became a Catholic practitioner(I was raised in a family of non practitioners) I started to think that dressing only following my personal sense of decency is not enough.In autumn/winter I wear very covering clothes but the problem arise during spring/summer. In the summer I wear bikinis and also shorts on the beach, sometimes I wear crop tops when going out and my skirts are over the knee. Is this inappropriate? Disrespectful to God?but why? I don’t dress like this because I want men/guys to look at me. Another thing is…I wear pants, normal waist,high waist and also a pair of ripped jeans(a little hole exactly on the knee, nothing too much to be honest). I know Padre Pio refused to confess women in pants and I can understand why since pants are traditionally men’s clothing but in our society it’s different and I also think that nowadays seeing a woman wearing a skirt attires more attention(esp male)than one wearing pants because it’s kind of uncommon,especially in winter,at least were I live.So, I’m asking you, is the way I dress offensive to God? What do the Church/ Bible exactly say so that I can clear my mind a bit, especially about the pants thing?Any suggestions about how to dress?( I also would like to add that I obviously don’t wear shorts or crop tops when I go to Church, although I wear normal pants)
 
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I think you’re dressing alright. Just remember to guard your heart and not dress to inspire lust. That being said; again I think you’re okay.
 
God bless you for trying to dress on a manner that is pleasing to God.Threads like this get a bit crazy sometines, so please know that.

The first step for you is to recognize that bikinis, crop tops,mini skirts and low cut tops are not modest. And it seems you do.

I live in an area near one of the fashion capitols of the world, and can tell you that women wear dresses alot here. Even in winter, with leggings or footless tights and boots. Modesty does not equate to frumpy, it’s equates to dignified dressing.

I have not worn pants in a very long time, I am not dressing like a pilgrim either, and no one really notices. That too is what modesty us about, not bringing negative attention to ones self through clothing choices.

Edited to add: and of course modesty means to project what being Catholic is in terms of the virtue of purity.
 
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In the Old Testament it is more said about how men and women are supposed to be dressed. No mention on pants. 😌 Of course we can’t apply it too literally.
I try not to wear pants in church. Or if I do the top to be long enough to cover me up. I think the sense of modesty is about covering up. For example if you google about modest clothing for women for traditional Jews you will see that the key element is covering up your body. And the colors not to be too striking. I mean if you wear a long red cape in church are you modestly dressed? Because everyone will be staring at you including the priest… 🤔
 
Pants are fine.

Shorts seem fine on the beach…if your butt cheeks aren’t spilling out.

Bikinis is a hot topic, but imo if a two piece swimsuit covers enough, it could be considered modest (ie bottoms that cover your butt area, the top covering most of your chest etc). Don’t want to get into it here, because it’ll cause another ugly thread :confused:

Personally crop tops are a no no to me as well as to a lot of people here. When I wear crop tops, I usually wear high waisted pants so my midriff is still covered.

I live in Singapore, a hot country, but I’m really used to wearing jeans and t shirts here. Shorts and tank tops if I’m working out.

You can wear cute clothes, so skirts are fine. Don’t take the whole attention thing too literally! If your taste is more on the feminine side, flowy skirts help a lot for the hot weather. Personally I hate flowy skirts and dresses so I can’t help you there!

I would be curious to know what other women would suggest. I would also love to know how to dress decently without looking like a nun :confused:
 
You’re going to get answers all over the map here as Catholics do not universally agree on what “modest” dress is.

When I was growing up in the 70s, my mom considered the following immodest:
  • anything that showed uncovered rump in back or cleavage/breasts in front
  • anything, other than a bathing suit or leotard or exercise wear, that fit tightly like paper on the wall, especially sweaters
  • anything see-through
  • midriff-baring tops
  • bikinis (I note you can get a lot of 2 piece suits especially nowadays that aren’t bikinis)
  • nipples showing through your top
Everything else, including pants that didn’t fall in the above categories and skirts that were a little above the knee but not so high your butt would peek out when you leaned over, was considered okay in our house. Certain outfits like shorts and halter were considered okay for hanging around the house or beach but not for going to dinner, church, etc.

I think these standards are reasonable as an adult, although I complained about them a bit at the time I was growing up.
 
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Forget the immodest part about bikinis—people go to the beach when the sun is at it’s most dangerous. Then they take off all their clothes, slap on some SPF 20 and think they are good.

Board shorts and a top are much safer in the sun.
 
I really believe that a good T-shirt and cargo shorts are not only modest but also better at protecting your body from the sun! I got fair skin so I cover up 😁
 
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