Confused about sin

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jules11

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Why does it seem that no-one is bothered by sin anymore, even fellow Christians? I have made a stand not to attend a good friend’s wedding as she and her, so called husband-to -be have both been married before and neither have had annulments, (although they are not practising catholics), but as this marriage would mean that they would be living in adultery, I cannot in conscience attend. Am i taking it too far as she suggested? She has been searching for God, but won’t commit herself. To make matters worse, HIS parents are practising catholics and ARE attending. Most people wouldn’t think twice about attending a wedding that they had been invited to. Should I visit her like I used to after she marries or stay away? (Afterall, she’s still living in sin) Where do you draw the line between judging someone and doing what’s right in God’s Eyes, even if it’s unpopular? One cannot go around telling everyone off especially when I am far from being a saint myself. I’m very confused.
 
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jules11:
Why does it seem that no-one is bothered by sin anymore, even fellow Christians? I have made a stand not to attend a good friend’s wedding as she and her, so called husband-to -be have both been married before and neither have had annulments, (although they are not practising catholics), but as this marriage would mean that they would be living in adultery, I cannot in conscience attend. Am i taking it too far as she suggested? She has been searching for God, but won’t commit herself. To make matters worse, HIS parents are practising catholics and ARE attending. Most people wouldn’t think twice about attending a wedding that they had been invited to. Should I visit her like I used to after she marries or stay away? (Afterall, she’s still living in sin) Where do you draw the line between judging someone and doing what’s right in God’s Eyes, even if it’s unpopular? One cannot go around telling everyone off especially when I am far from being a saint myself. I’m very confused.
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On the contrary, I think people have become more sensitive to sin in recent years. Consider all the work that has been done to fight domestic violence in the past 50 or so years, consider the work done to fight discrimination against colored people and women, consider all the social programs to help the poor, laws to protect workers from being exploited by companies etc.

Not that long ago black people were slaves in America, now there’s a time when people were not bothered by sin.

The fact that so few now are bothered by divorce might be a sign that we are becoming more and more evil, but it might also be a sign that divorce is not a sin.

People are still bothered by murder, they are far more bothered by rape and domestic violence, they are bothered by racism and other social injustices. Why not divorce and remarriage?

Catholic teaching aside, is divorce always wrong? What if you are married to an abusive spouse, isn’t it a good idea to divorce him? What’s wrong if you remarry afterwards? What if your spouse divorces you, should you live alone for the rest of your life?

Someone who is living in sin (i.e. someone who is destined to go to hell unless she repents) should be an evil person. Ask yourself, is your good friend evil?
 
I see what you’re saying, but Christ taught that divorce and remarriage is adultery. People can remarry only when the Church rules, in her wisdom, that the first marriage was invalid. Jesus said that “any man that put away his wife, except for unfaithfulness, and so marries another, commits adultery; and he too commits adultery, who marries her after she has been put away.” Mat. 19.9
 
I come from a large family, lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins.
Over the years that has come up and in good conscience I could not attend the wedding of a cousin who had divorced, and was then re-marrying outside the Church. My relatives understood and did not fault me for not attending, and it did not put a strain on my relationship with them. Many years later my cousin divorced the second husband, and is now raising her family by herself, has become a devoted Catholic, and is very involved with her parish.

I believe it is important to stand up for what the Church teaches, without being malicious to others.
 
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jules11:
Why does it seem that no-one is bothered by sin anymore, even fellow Christians? I have made a stand not to attend a good friend’s wedding as she and her, so called husband-to -be have both been married before and neither have had annulments, (although they are not practising catholics), but as this marriage would mean that they would be living in adultery, I cannot in conscience attend. Am i taking it too far as she suggested? She has been searching for God, but won’t commit herself. To make matters worse, HIS parents are practising catholics and ARE attending. Most people wouldn’t think twice about attending a wedding that they had been invited to. Should I visit her like I used to after she marries or stay away? (Afterall, she’s still living in sin) Where do you draw the line between judging someone and doing what’s right in God’s Eyes, even if it’s unpopular? One cannot go around telling everyone off especially when I am far from being a saint myself. I’m very confused.
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I completely support your stance. I have been in this position myself with a very dear friend. She is still my very dear friend, and because we are so close, she respected my position, and as a human being I understood hers all to well. There but for the grace of God. Her “re-marriage” does not diminish my love for her, nor my liking for her new partner. But I felt I would be betraying Christ and what He taught if I attended the ceremony. However, I do visit them often, and they me. To be honest, if I was only on visiting terms with people who weren’t “living in sin” I’d be practically bereft of human company!

My friends accept my right to my values - which I’m not shy of expressing(!). True friends are like that.
 
I declined to attend the wedding of my brother-in-law to a double divorcee but we attended the reception for family reasons. This has not caused any tension in the family.

A couple of years ago a Catholic friend who had separated from her husband took up with another man. She asked me, “Surely God would not expect me to be celibate for the rest of my life?” I said gently, “Yes, He does.”

She knows how I feel and that I will never compromise my beliefs but she respects that and remains my friend.
 
Thankyou all, I was beginning to feel like I was just being “too judgemental” as my friend put it. It’s sometimes hard to know when and where to draw the line.
 
Jules11, I don’t believe you were confused about sin, but rather about how to express love. You have done well. You expressed your concern for someone you love and have shared why you cannot attend a mockery of a sacred sacrament. That is stage one and it is important for were you not to share why their action is a sin you could become culpable and share in their sin. Once your beliefs have been shared the choice is theirs. Now for stage two, you continue to express your love and concern for your friend by remaining a friend. God loves all His creation and creatures including Satan. It is what they do that He does not like. We need to practice separating the sin from the sinner and shunning the sin, not the sinner. Remember. ‘Judge not lest ye be judged.’
It might be wise for you to include them in your prayers at all times.
 
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