Confused about 'The Way'

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My fiancé and I attended mass at a nearby parish a few months ago because there was no Eucharist in our hometown. Afterwards, the priest started talking with us and handed us a flyer, inviting us to a series to learn more about the faith.
Now, we’re both re/converts and we’re very much involved in our parish, but we’re also trying to build our faith and meet more catholic people, so we thought it would be good to attend. As I don’t live nearby, I couldn’t attend, but my fiancé did and we were invited together to a weekend that would conclude the series. So, even though my fiancé had been attending these classes for two months (twice a week), it was my first contact with the community.
As soon as they started talking, I felt uneasy. I’ve had some experience with cults in the past and this was very, very much like it. Some things that bothered me:
  1. There are specific words and gestures they use and keep using. For instance, they use a different and, they claim, ‘correct’ (read: different than in the normal mass) way to give the sign of peace.
  2. There is a clear distinction of three groups: the people on The Way, the outsiders and those who want to destroy the Church. Only those on The Way have the full truth. Others, even if they’re Catholic, don’t.
  3. You’re not allowed to ask questions. There’s no interaction during the catechesis, only the leaders talk. After the catechesis, questions aren’t appreciated either. A (totally innocent) question about their interpretation of the early Church was blocked immediately. They got quite aggressive and told me it was approved by Rome and they could prove it because there was a priest present. And "Who are you to question the decisions of the Pope?” (I’m actually a Master in Ancient History of Syro-Palestine, so I do know what I’m talking about and what they said was just plain wrong!)
  4. Outsiders are only welcome during the introduction sessions. You’re not allowed to invite friends, family or other people that express interest to the celebration of the word or the Paschal celebration on Saturday evenings.
  5. The leaders distance themselves from the others. They sit apart, they talk between themselves, and they even eat at different tables…
  6. They claimed The Way is a way of growth which people have to walk for several decennia before they can understand everything. It takes years before you’re actually one of them.
  7. The introductions were presented as a catechesis to the Catholic faith which they organized once a year. They never spoke about other evenings, responsibilities, “Eucharist” apart from the rest of the parish … They only told this at the last moment of the weekend.
    All this makes me fear it’s a cult and it really scared us. We don’t know what to do. Should we alert our bishop? Should we just ignore our doubts and attend? Should we stop going to this parish? We have absolutely no idea! What about the people that attended the weekend with us, should we alert them? There were young teenagers and vulnerable adults there.
    We read about the Neocatechumenate online and notice there are very distinct opinions, but I’m talking about this specific community here, not about the theological doctrine or whether it’s approved (I know it is).
 
Ciska said:
All this makes me fear it’s a cult and it really scared us. We don’t know what to do. Should we alert our bishop? Should we just ignore our doubts and attend?
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Do NOT ignore your doubts.

From your post, I can see that you have many reasons to be alarmed. Talk though your concerns with a trusted Priest and yes, tell your bishop. They do not sound like they are in line with the Catholic Church at all.

I would recommend that you do not attend there again. See if there are any other Catholic churches in your area.

Lou
 
I am not a Catholic. But I can tell you this; I’d run as far from that bunch as you can and talk to your priest and bishop asap and let them know what’s going on. They may already be aware of the group. Then pray for the people attending and the ones running the movement. You never know what God may do.
 
Thank you, Lou2U and guycatholic. We’re going to talk with the priest of our own parish and if he thinks it’s wise, we’ll write the bishop. They claim they have been send by the Pope and that they are there with the support of the bishop, so I don’t know how much effect it will have.
 
Was this part of an RCIA function, or a retreat? Was it a recruitment for a specific order within the Church?

The reason I ask is because it affects the context of how the meetings are conducted. In an RCIA (or general educational setting) questions are usually most welcome, and conversation and sharing of experiences and ideas are usually a big part of the class.

During a retreat a person is more likely to be exposed to a series of lectures, and speakers generally don’t have time allotted for questions/answers. Also, there can be different rules to a retreat. Some retreats are ‘silent’ events during which the participants are expected to spend time in reflection.

Also, there are special Orders within the church which are comprised of the laity, but who hold to a higher standard than that of the average person. Opus Dei comes to mind.

According to your post you missed most of the seminar, and only attended the final one. Is it possible that some of the things you considered to be ‘out of the norm’ were explained during the course when you were not present? What did your significant other say about it? Was the entire seminar a ‘no questions’ prospect, or just the final day that you attended? Usually by the final day of any class (whether ecclesiastic or secular) the period for questions is over and the last day is basically a ‘wrap up’.

As far as the priests and speakers not eating with the attendees, again, it depends upon the context. Retreats and seminars are a great way for priests to meet one another, network, share information, etc, so it is natural for them to congregate together at meal times and pick one another’s brains. It doesn’t necessarily have any sort of ‘elitist’ attitude in it’s core.

As far as the ‘different’ sign of peace, it’s hard to say unless you want to clue us in to their “right way”. Were they shaking hands? Hugging? Kiss on the cheek? I’ve heard of all of the above being used.

I have no idea if any of the above are true, I’m just offering possible innocent explanations. It’s very difficult to discern whether something sinister was truly going on, or if certain things were simply misunderstood or misinterpreted.

Let me end by saying, yes, it is completely possible that there was something very wrong with that seminar, and if you are truly concerned then you should contact the Bishop. After you explain your concerns he should be able to clear things up one way or the other.
 
Don’t go there anymore. No Catholic church events, or any other Christian church event, should make anyone feel uncomfortable. The only exception is when they talk about certain sins that you may be guilty of. That can make you uncomfortable, because you know you are guilty, but that situation is not what you are experiencing. It sounds like there is no love in that church. You know when love is present, it’s not hard to tell.
 
PeaceBeWithU, thank you for your long answer, I’ll try to answer your questions.
It wasn’t an RCIA function or a retreat, it was promoted as a series of evenings to get to know more about the Catholic faith, but it was aimed at active parishioners, not people planning to convert. It turned out to be some sort of a recruitment, but this was never made clear. At the end of the weekend, we heard we would now enter a ‘next stage’ and attend twice a week. We’re supposed to have a Paschal “Eucharist” every Saturday evening starting this weekend.

The leaders were laity and there was only one priest. He seemed to be in between the leaders and the others. Not really a leader, but not part of the rest of the group either. He sat, talked and ate with them, rarely with the participants. All the leaders were of the same family (parents and grown-up children with their wives). As they all live close to each other (in the parish of the priest), I expect they don’t need this time to catch up with each other.

Questions were never allowed. Any questions were answered with “it’s normal that you don’t understand this yet, it will become clear over time” or “who are you to question what the Pope has approved”.

The sign of peace was two kisses (one on each cheek). It had to be two and a mere handshake was not enough. You also had to greet everyone in the room (the “Eucharist” wasn’t held in a chapel of church, though they had one in the retreat center, but in a conference room). I’m okay with giving a hug or kiss as a sign of peace to people I know well, but it’s very strange in our culture to kiss people you don’t know. I actually felt violated.

We’re contacting our parish and will ask them if we should contact the bishop.
 
sounds like your fiancé was quite comfortable attending for two months before you went. what’s the big deal?
 
Wow.

Yes, that certainly does seem fishy. I’ve never heard of anything quite like that. Especially the bit about “You dont understand yet, but it will all become clear…”

In my experience, when attending a ‘get to know more about the faith’ type of seminar the teachers/speakers/leaders of the seminar are more than happy to explain anything and everything about the faith.

Let us know what kind of response you get from your parish. I’m generally curious now. 🙂
 
bisco, I believe there are two big reasons why my fiancé didn’t notice at first, but I did.
  1. He’s never been part of or attended a cult. I have.
  2. They presented everything very gradually over the weeks. I came in at the end (like the analogy of the frog in the boiling water).
St Francis, thank you for the link. I’ve been googling a bit, but I get mixed results. I was hoping to hear from members of the neocatechumenate on this forum. They could probably tell me if this is normal or if there’s something wrong with this particular group. Still hoping they’ll reply!

PeaceBeWithU, we’ve sent a long mail to the pastor in charge of catechism in our parish and hope she’ll respond soon. I’ll keep you updated.
 
It’s been two weeks since I last wrote here. My fiancé has talked to the pastor in charge of religious education and she contacted the vicar. He and the bishop are “very concerned” and have asked to write a letter to them, stating exactly what happened at the catechesis. We’re very relieved that they’re taking this seriously and are going to look into this.
 
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