Confused and Discouraged

[PerlaDelRosario]

For the first time in years, I attended mass this morning but I left feeling confused and discouraged. I intended to go to mass and then to confession because my friend told me that that’s when the priest is available for confessions.

Anyhow, I was discouraged because I didn’t feel “at home” there. It was like going to a strange and unfamiliar place that I couldn’t relate to. I didn’t know how to follow the mass most of the time and felt quite ignorant.  After mass, I left and went home. I didn’t go to confession after all with my mind not being in the right place. 

In part, I think I would have felt more “at home” if I had gone to Catholic Church where I did my first communion as a child. I liked that priest and I wasn’t intimidated by the church or by him. However, I found out some time ago that he was reassigned to another church in another city that is hours away. It would have been more comforting to see and hear a familiar priest, but I guess I have no choice but to let go of that. I’m confused by my feelings about the Catholic Church in general.

 If this were about anything else, I would just say that this isn’t for me and move on and try visiting a Protestant church (which I have done in the past). But my feelings are so conflicted that I really can’t give a good explanation of the battle that’s going on in my mind. I just don’t know where to go from here. I’m having a difficult time transitioning back into the Catholic Church. :(

I would appreciate any advice and prayers on this issue.

                                                                                                       Thanks,
                                                                                         
                                                                                         Perla Del Rosario

 

[Kennywood]

Hi Perla,
Welcome back

I am sorry for your less than stellar experience; I can understand your confusion. While there are, I’m sure, many who are about to weigh in with sage wisdom and advice, I can only offer this:

try again.

I am a cradle Catholic, but I will tell you that despite our faith’s universality, each priest/parish/Mass time has it’s unique qualities. Just because that one didn’t fit like a glove doesn’t necessarily mean that none ever will. It’s why I drag the fam to 8:30 Mass each week- the flavor suits us better than the others, for one reason or another.

Of course, sometimes I crave a little variety, too. And then I do what you’re doing, and try another time, etc.

I hope your journey brings you to a wonderful new Church home

 

[petitfleur]

I know how you feel but I look at it like a relationship and sometimes relationships take time. I would keep trying and remain open minded, and of course pray about it. In time if you dont feel better about it perhaps try a different Catholic church.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

Maybe you’re being called to a deeper intimacy with God, beyond merely participating in the rituals, and observing the precepts of the Church and other regulations.

Those things are all good, but they are not sufficient if you really want to take a spiritual journey that will bring you closer to God than merely following rules and learning and believing dogma.

For example, we all know the scripture has several senses. The literal sense is only the surface level. Scripture touches us at all levels, if we learn how to let it. Most of us are trained to resist these influences – as a result few people are truly open for significant renewal, that the Lord is pleased to give us at His will and on His time schedule. Even if they do hear the Lord knocking, they can’t figure out how to unlock the door to let Him in. http://bestsmileys.com/notlistening/1.gif

Starting from the first day I met with a really great Spiritual Director, my faith life began to grow beyond a bunch of stories and beliefs and rituals, for the first time.

Now, ten years later, I can tell you that I have experienced tremendous healing, peace, and joy, that does not depend on circumstances hardly at all. My life seems important now, and I enjoy every moment of every day, with few exceptions. :extrahappy:

One place to start is to consider spiritual direction, and/or get into a group that includes Lectio Divina, which spans the range of Catholic prayer forms, including elements of vocal, meditative, and contemplative prayer.

Note that the CCC specifically encourages, using the word “should” in para 2708 that we move into the contemplative prayer forms, which are our open invitation to God to renew us and open our spiritual “eyes,” :newidea:

If this is new to you, you’re not alone. I’m a 52 year old cradle Catholic, and I never even heard of the spiritual journey, contemplative prayer, spiritual unity, or Divine Union, until ten years ago when I started meeting with the SD. Now everything is different, I’m happy and content, and I think any Catholic would like to sample the riches I’ve been led to.

Reference: “Expressions of Prayer” – CCC 2700-2724

Alan

 

[thirddec]

I dont want to come across as preachy but I’m not clear what the problem was. As fas as I know the Church is a building; clergy come and go; rituals and prayers can be changed. But the central point of Church is your relationship with God; with the Eucharist and with the scriptures. Maybe if you focus on those basics first and unless the other incidentals are actually interefering with these then there is a problem if not then no problem.

Maybe 3 things become more evident and central to you as the incidentals that u find so discomforting wont distract and in time you may learn to be comfortable with the new environment.

Its hard to be sure I’m on right track with this advise as often posts can be vague; I hope you find my (name removed by moderator)ut helpfull. Remember we all want you with us and God wants your prayers.
Stick with it.

Love and Respect

 

[Hiskid1973]

Here’s the thing whether catholic or protestant, there are hot,luke warm and cold people among us all. People range from having a passionate relationship with Jesus and living it in all they say and do to people who just go though the motions culturally and are far from God in their daily lives…It the early church they met in houses, they were close by and were closer to each other…Today we are more to ourselves and gather in larger groups from larger distances…The key is finding those who want to grow and learn more and plugging into those groups. Ask the Lord to guide you to those who want to live passionately for Him. They are out there…May the Lord bless you on your journey are you desire to grow closer to Him

 

[fbl9]

For the first time in years, I attended mass this morning but I left feeling confused and discouraged. I intended to go to mass and then to confession because my friend told me that that’s when the priest is available for confessions.

Anyhow, I was discouraged because I didn’t feel “at home” there. It was like going to a strange and unfamiliar place that I couldn’t relate to. I didn’t know how to follow the mass most of the time and felt quite ignorant.  After mass, I left and went home. I didn’t go to confession after all with my mind not being in the right place.

Hello PerlaDelRosario. welcome to the forums.
Once my family and i were 1000 miles from home we attended mass where we were.
Our “home” parish normally hosts about 15-20 people this parish hosted over 100 people.
Was i out of place? No i wasn’t because i was at the Holy sacrifice of the Mass and where ever the Mass is held there i am home.
Grace before meals: Bless **us ** and these thy gifts,O Lord, which we are about to recieve through thy bounty through Christ our Lord.
I bolded us and we for the reason to help you identify with the whole church for when we say this prayer we are in union with those before, with and after us.

Regardless of how you felt if it was your intent to recieve the sacrement of reconcillation i feel you should have went ahead and recieved this vital sacrement. Perhaps by doing so you may have not felt the way you do now.

 

[AlanFromWichita]

But the central point of Church is your relationship with God; with the Eucharist and with the scriptures. Maybe if you focus on those basics first and unless the other incidentals are actually interefering with these then there is a problem if not then no problem.

I agree. It’s all about becoming close to God. You might also check out some mystical literature, like St. John of the Cross and St. Theresa, or the Cloud of the Unknowing.

If you can find a spiritual director, check him out. Sometimes it doesn’t always “click” between director and "directee,’ but it might on the first try. Mine did with me, and I remember the exact date of our first meeting.
Matt 6:33-34:

But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, 19 and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.

Alan

 

[Jakesmom]

Hello PerlaDelRosario; I think I understand what you are saying. I am a cradle Catholic who lost her way for MANY years (33 actually). I felt a deep and not to be ignored longing to “come home”; but I felt scared, unworthy and like I was too big a sinner to even step in the house of the Lord without a lightening bolt hitting me or something.

My wonderful son finaly convinced me to go see the priest from his parish. I scheduled an appointment with him for confession. Let me tell you- with all of my heart and soul; that it was the hardest confession I ever went to! The priest that I went to was WONDERFUL! He let me cry, listened to my sins and most importantly absolved me of them. I cannot tell you how GIGANTIC the burden was that was lifted from my shoulders that day. When he said the final blessing over my head; my scalp actually tingled.

Father told me that now it was time to come back to the church and wrap the sacraments and the religious community of the church around myself for further healing. I did…that very day! I went to mass and it was soooo different at first in many ways, I felt lost and confused. The one thing that had NOT changed was the words, and actions uniting us with the Holy Eucharist. I felt a warmth and peace wash over me and after receiving the Holy Eucharist I was filled with so much peace and love that I silently kneeled and cried.

I guess my point is this…maybe try going to confession first (perhaps schedule one with your priest if it is going to be a long one or you want spiritual guidance too) and then go to mass. Try not to worry about any changes that have happened in your absence; as you go to mass every week the new will become comfortable and familiar too over time.

I hope this helps you and I will be praying for you.
God Bless!

 

[thequeen]

For the first time in years, I attended mass this morning but I left feeling confused and discouraged. I intended to go to mass and then to confession because my friend told me that that’s when the priest is available for confessions.

Anyhow, I was discouraged because I didn’t feel “at home” there. It was like going to a strange and unfamiliar place that I couldn’t relate to. I didn’t know how to follow the mass most of the time and felt quite ignorant.  After mass, I left and went home. I didn’t go to confession after all with my mind not being in the right place. 

In part, I think I would have felt more “at home” if I had gone to Catholic Church where I did my first communion as a child. I liked that priest and I wasn’t intimidated by the church or by him. However, I found out some time ago that he was reassigned to another church in another city that is hours away. It would have been more comforting to see and hear a familiar priest, but I guess I have no choice but to let go of that. I’m confused by my feelings about the Catholic Church in general.

 If this were about anything else, I would just say that this isn’t for me and move on and try visiting a Protestant church (which I have done in the past). But my feelings are so conflicted that I really can’t give a good explanation of the battle that’s going on in my mind. I just don’t know where to go from here. I’m having a difficult time transitioning back into the Catholic Church. :(

I would appreciate any advice and prayers on this issue.

                                                                                                       Thanks,
                                                                                         
                                                                                         Perla Del Rosario

Please keep coming to mass you will eventually be able to follow along i didnt understand the mass when i first started going to mass either but dont’give up you are certainly welcome and please don’t go off to a protestant church please stay where Jesus is present in the eucharist it doesnt matter if acertain priest is there and we all have afavorite priest but what does matter is that Jesus is always there in the blessed sacrament