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cacaco
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w2bp88 Thank You for the Prayers that is what is needed more than any thing. God Bless You and Yours.
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whatevergirl
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*Yes, this whole thing sounds horrible.
I am praying this will end. Again, so sorry for your situation right now. *
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cacaco
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Whatevergirl I agree with the HR situation mostly because of her possibly losing her job and that wouldn’t help our children out. If I knew her job would be safe I would do it in a heartbeat which is bad because I feel there should be consequences and he can feel some pain. It’s not in my heart though. He did take advantage of her to start. I went home to Ohio last minute to spend time with my family 4th of July weekend and to see my nephews in their last dive/swim championship of the season. I barely get to go home so I was able to and did it. She freaked out about it and he noticed her crying and consoled her and it took off from there.
I also agree with the issues before marriage but it’s better if I keep it to myself. As is said I tiger can’t change their stripes I should have known better. When you know you will marry some one the first day you meet them it tends to make you think it is Gods will to have it happen. That also hurts because I don’t understand how my thought that first day came to fruition and 6 years later it’s practically over. It makes no sense to me.
Thank you for your prayers the more the better. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worse. God Bless you!
I also agree with the issues before marriage but it’s better if I keep it to myself. As is said I tiger can’t change their stripes I should have known better. When you know you will marry some one the first day you meet them it tends to make you think it is Gods will to have it happen. That also hurts because I don’t understand how my thought that first day came to fruition and 6 years later it’s practically over. It makes no sense to me.
Thank you for your prayers the more the better. I am hoping for the best but preparing for the worse. God Bless you!
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whatevergirl
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*Your last sentence is wise…it’s all you can do. I know you feel so helpless, it’s hard when things are out of our control. It’s precisely then (and you seem to know this) that we must surrender and let God. God’s will, perhaps, is just that (in coinciding with your thread’s title) …letting go and letting God. My sister had an affair with a married man, when she was going through a divorce. I remember how badly it all ended (her relationship with the man AND her divorce) These things ALWAYS end badly. God wouldn’t ask us to commit adultery to find our soulmate.
He would never tell us to go agains His Word, right now, your wife is semi-blocking out God, because on some level, she knows this is wrong. How can someone not know that playing around fire won’t eventually burn, you know? I am praying she turns from this, and turns back to God and you. Have hope. Hope in the Lord, you’ll never hope in vain. (Fr Corapi)God bless you! Praying for you. *
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kage_ar
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What is more important, her job or her family and mortal soul?
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whatevergirl
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*I guess if telling the HR Dept would guarantee your wife will be faithful to you and return lovingly to the marriage, then I’d say tell them…I don’t believe that your wife’s job was the catalyst for her desire to leave the marriage…so, to me, she’ll be out of the marriage and jobless. (possibly) I don’t know if I’d want my spouse to be with me strictly because they didn’t have a job anymore, and needed funds, and came back to me because of that, which could happen if she leaves her job and has no means to support herself. I think helping her to see that your marriage is paramount…is key. Just my two cents. *
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cacaco
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kage_ar
I definitely agree family and mortal soul.
Unless she decides to come back on her own with a softened heart and a true love and faith for God I don’t want her to come back at all. I believe that epiphany came to me in Mass this morning. I don’t want a wife like that and especially one that for now has decided she doesn’t want me. I would be better by myself and children.I will be okay eventually.
I just pray God softens her heart, strengthens her faith and puts it in her soul to realize heaven is the goal.
I definitely agree family and mortal soul.
Unless she decides to come back on her own with a softened heart and a true love and faith for God I don’t want her to come back at all. I believe that epiphany came to me in Mass this morning. I don’t want a wife like that and especially one that for now has decided she doesn’t want me. I would be better by myself and children.I will be okay eventually.
I just pray God softens her heart, strengthens her faith and puts it in her soul to realize heaven is the goal.
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whatevergirl
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*As hard as this will be, or this time has been…I think this is wise. God doesn’t force His love upon us…He gives us free will. Your wife’s job, I don’t see as the problem, rather it’s the choices **she has made **to stray from her faith, and your marriage. The guy/boss is just a prop, dare I say. He’s not the reason. We all come across charming people every week in our daily lives, whether they be at work or elsewhere…but are we tempted to stray from our marriages? Most would say no, if they are grounded in the faith and love for their spouses.
Your wife’s decision is her own, and you are wise to be patient and keep praying for God’s will. We can be patient, understanding, forgiving, etc…but we can’t be forceful when it comes to true love, as God doesn’t force us to love Him. I pray your wife DOES return with a renewed heart and spirit for the Lord and you. God bless you during this time. *
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cacaco
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Whatevergirl
Yes I would only tell HR if I knew it would only affect him. Usually,the company I worked for it was only the supervisor that got fired. Though it is terrible especially if it was a third party that reported it and had no interest in the situation other then being jealous. Of course that isn’t my situation but you’re right it isn’t going to change the fact she can’t decide whom she loves and it won’t help her to decide to come back to me.
I have decided it’s not worth my pain any more. Although I realize it will take some time for the pain to leave. I just have to live with it and see what she decides.
Yes I would only tell HR if I knew it would only affect him. Usually,the company I worked for it was only the supervisor that got fired. Though it is terrible especially if it was a third party that reported it and had no interest in the situation other then being jealous. Of course that isn’t my situation but you’re right it isn’t going to change the fact she can’t decide whom she loves and it won’t help her to decide to come back to me.
I have decided it’s not worth my pain any more. Although I realize it will take some time for the pain to leave. I just have to live with it and see what she decides.
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whatevergirl
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I am praying for you. I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. One can only hope that your wife will have her own epiphany and come back to the marriage, apologize, repent, and wish to begin anew. Marriages sometimes get off track, I remember when my kids were very young, romance and so forth seem to go out the window even but for a little while. lol But, that type of thing is ‘‘easy’’ to fix, but only if both partners are willing. I pray she will be willing…in the meantime, keep praying, and being a good dad. God bless.
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cacaco
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whatevergirl
Willing is the main word so far she has shown not to be willing. She thinks love is a feeling and nothing more. Her “feeling” is she doesn’t love me any more. I know feelings come and go. This is the time to work through those feelings but like you said she is not willing
. So be it.
Willing is the main word so far she has shown not to be willing. She thinks love is a feeling and nothing more. Her “feeling” is she doesn’t love me any more. I know feelings come and go. This is the time to work through those feelings but like you said she is not willing
. So be it.
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kage_ar
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Marriage is not about “I will take you back if you have better faith or have a softened heart”. Marriage is for life, a commitment to God EVEN WHEN you do not like the person.
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cacaco
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Kage ar. I know this but I am devastated I love her but tell her that. I want my marriage to work. I can’t do it by myself I have tried every thing to prove my love for her she doesn’t care. Once she made the ultimate statement which always has been her way of thinking. We were talking about what other people have advised her. She said “I don’t care what other people think good or bad I’m going to do what I want. You know I’ve never cared what other people think” I said yes I know not even what your husband thinks. She didn’t disagree. I could tell you signs from God that she received and she says they were just coincidences I know differently. I think it is hopeless now she is one of those blind people that is spoken about in the Holy Bible. I wish God would touch her. Like she has said people get divorces all the time. I love the way she thinks (again sarcastic)
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whatevergirl
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*No one here is saying otherwise, kage. The OP loves his wife, and wants his marriage to work, and sounds like he would be open armed if she comes home. But, he can’t force her to love him…or want to make it work, like he does.
That’s all he’s saying…you can’t force someone to want to be married to you, or love you. That’s not love, anyways…to force someone. He wants her to come back to marriage, but she has to want to. *
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kage_ar
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Are you willing to fight for her? Go show up whent this wormy excuse for a man walks out of the office and tell him to leave your wife the he-double hockey sticks alone. Tell him that the next call is to corporate to report him for taking advantage of his subordinates and to your lawyer to sue him for alienation of affection.
Fight for her. Every woman on this planet wants to be cherished, to be special, for a man who will go to battle for her.
Yes, pray, yes fast, but put your words into action.
Schedule an appointment with your priest for tomorrow and start fighting to save your marriage.
Fight for her. Every woman on this planet wants to be cherished, to be special, for a man who will go to battle for her.
Yes, pray, yes fast, but put your words into action.
Schedule an appointment with your priest for tomorrow and start fighting to save your marriage.
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cacaco
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kage_ar
I have done my share of fighting confronting him at first I was polite, not so much after that to a point it didn’t reflect my faith, sending bouquets (which I have always done), going to her favorite restaurants, writing poems, cleaning the house (not new), writing love letters, taking care of the children (which I cherish) changing the cat litter (I’m not a cat person and think litter boxes are disgusting) cleaning laundry/dishes, cooking, going to every obstetrician appointment for all 3 children, sex life was good. I really don’t know what I could have missed. I do know after our 3rd wonderful child some thing changed in her but she ignored it and things went down from there. First no sex which I can partly understand having 3 children so fast, plus 2 problems in the down stairs department and both issues could have caused her death, then communication every time I tried to discuss things I got I don’t want to talk about it right now and that never changed, then the emotional bond which I tried hard to keep going until I gave up this past November.
I did tell my wife that I was going to sue him for that if it’s allowed in NC. I need to check.
I have talked to our Priest he told me it might be better if we weren’t together. He said she could stifle my growth spiritually or not allow her growth to take place as in God is trying to work in her. She not being so faithful I think how faithful I am freaks her out. I tried my hardest to have her go to Mass, it was spotty she was more interested in sleeping in. She won’t talk to our Priest or marriage counselor. I’m lucky she is allowing our children to attend school at our Parrish she threatened not to pay half but she knew that wasn’t going to happen under any circumstances.
My problem is I gave her pretty much every thing she wanted (happily) and don’t think she appreciated any thing. Maybe she thinks I’m a push over. She has never been one to be honest I have a laundry list of lies. She even went so far as to make up things that were not true to justify her leaving and I called her out on every single one of the fantasies.
The above shows what kind of wife I’m dealing with. I think our Priest might be right. I believe I have a pretty good case for annulment if it comes to that. It is in her and God’s hands now.
I have done my share of fighting confronting him at first I was polite, not so much after that to a point it didn’t reflect my faith, sending bouquets (which I have always done), going to her favorite restaurants, writing poems, cleaning the house (not new), writing love letters, taking care of the children (which I cherish) changing the cat litter (I’m not a cat person and think litter boxes are disgusting) cleaning laundry/dishes, cooking, going to every obstetrician appointment for all 3 children, sex life was good. I really don’t know what I could have missed. I do know after our 3rd wonderful child some thing changed in her but she ignored it and things went down from there. First no sex which I can partly understand having 3 children so fast, plus 2 problems in the down stairs department and both issues could have caused her death, then communication every time I tried to discuss things I got I don’t want to talk about it right now and that never changed, then the emotional bond which I tried hard to keep going until I gave up this past November.
I did tell my wife that I was going to sue him for that if it’s allowed in NC. I need to check.
I have talked to our Priest he told me it might be better if we weren’t together. He said she could stifle my growth spiritually or not allow her growth to take place as in God is trying to work in her. She not being so faithful I think how faithful I am freaks her out. I tried my hardest to have her go to Mass, it was spotty she was more interested in sleeping in. She won’t talk to our Priest or marriage counselor. I’m lucky she is allowing our children to attend school at our Parrish she threatened not to pay half but she knew that wasn’t going to happen under any circumstances.
My problem is I gave her pretty much every thing she wanted (happily) and don’t think she appreciated any thing. Maybe she thinks I’m a push over. She has never been one to be honest I have a laundry list of lies. She even went so far as to make up things that were not true to justify her leaving and I called her out on every single one of the fantasies.
The above shows what kind of wife I’m dealing with. I think our Priest might be right. I believe I have a pretty good case for annulment if it comes to that. It is in her and God’s hands now.
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cacaco
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whatevergirl
Well said this is exactly what I think…especially the open arm part.*No one here is saying otherwise, kage. The OP loves his wife, and wants his marriage to work, and sounds like he would be open armed if she comes home. But, he can’t force her to love him…or want to make it work, like he does.
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whatevergirl
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It sounds like you have done all you can do…outside of carrying her back into your home kicking and screaming…lol I mean, a marriage is about TWO people, not just one person doing everything he/she can to make it work, and the other not trying at all. My dh and I were separated a while ago, cacaco. Not for reasons you are having here, but we were having marital issues. My husband tried a lot to soften my heart, but until I decided to come back to the faith fully, and give the marriage a chance, it was never going to work. You are one spouse. You can’t be both. You have done a lot, keep praying…if you love your wife, and want it to work…keep an openmind.whatevergirl
Well said this is exactly what I think…especially the open arm part.
I will be praying for you guys!*
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cacaco
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whatevergirl
Thank you for understanding. I believe my will is broken and I didn’t think that could happen. I did a lot of soul searching this week end and I don’t want her to make me feel pain any more. I am resolved to concentrate on the children only. I am not going to try to convince her of any thing any more it does me no good. Like you, she has to want to make it work God and marriage. Thank you for your continue prayers.
Thank you for understanding. I believe my will is broken and I didn’t think that could happen. I did a lot of soul searching this week end and I don’t want her to make me feel pain any more. I am resolved to concentrate on the children only. I am not going to try to convince her of any thing any more it does me no good. Like you, she has to want to make it work God and marriage. Thank you for your continue prayers.
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Seatuck
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Go get your children and bring them home. Why was she allowed to take them?
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