Confused Friend

[jplumey]

Hey everyone, this is the first time I’ve had to talk to a friend who has gone so far away from the faith and I would like your (name removed by moderator)ut on how I should respond. A old friend of mine, whom I’ve just recently come in contact with again, sent me an email as we were discussing our lives, etc. I have already posted this to the Ask An Apologist forum but I am posting here for general comments in case they won’t answer the question because it’s so overloaded. Here’s his email:

Regarding faith, I guess it is a conscious choice. I realized a while back that I just don’t believe in organized religion anymore, and instead of not being true to myself out of fear of going to hell, I decided to embrace it. My feeling now is that religion is the biggest reason for the world’s problems, and I’m kind of sick of it. Also, I’ve got issues with lots of things in the bible, catholicism, etc. as they just don’t add up logically for me. I’m not sure I believe in the concept of God anymore, and I’m not even sure I believe in Jewish/Christian concepts such as dualism… For example, I don’t consider anything that I do as wrong anymore, and I’m much more peaceful, and I don’t have a tendency to do ‘bad’ things as much. Before, when I would tell myself I couldn’t do this or that, I would be drawn towards it even more. Now I just let it all go, and I feel much more balanced. Maybe philosophies based on monism are worth exploring for me. Another thing regarding religion, I’m feeling like it is all just a collection of stories handed down over the ages, and their accuracy can’t be verified. Every culture has its own stories, who’s to say what is right and wrong… maybe it all just ‘is’. Your thoughts?

I’ve got some ideas on where to go with this but I was hoping for some inspiration as there are at least 5 or 6 things that need addressing here. Thanks in advance!

 

[Church_Militant]

Javier,
Your friend has no apologetic idea what he’s talking about. The things that have him all messed up are things that he simply has no knowlege of why we believe what we do. You might wanna send him a copy of [THIS.](javascript:win_me(‘tbl_free_tapes’,7).

He needs good info on the reasons that we believe what we do. That will inform his faith and maybe, just maybe, get him back on the path to the faith.

The Divine Mercy Chaplet Novena for him won’t hurt any either.
Pax tecum,

 

[montanaman]

Co-signed with CM. This person has no idea what he’s talking about, but not only that, he doesn’t possess the language with which to ask the questions.

Anything you send him is just going to bounce off. You can send him the best-reasoned argument in the world, and he’ll still look at it as jumbles of words with the bad smell of religion. I’d simply say, "I’m sorry to hear that you’ve abandoned the faith, but make sure you know what you’re rejecting. There’s the Faith, and then there’s what everyone thinks is the faith. The difference is galaxy-sized.

Or, just be a good example and pray.

 

[tm30]

That’s really quite a difficult scenario. I’ve found that once someone decides “everyone is right”, you almost have to start at square one. You can’t just pick up in the middle. I don’t want to sound overly dramatic but people that fall into these traps almost need to be re-catechized from the ground up.

I would highly recommend seeing if your friend would be interested in reading Fulton Sheen’s “Life of Christ”. His prose play-by-play of the Gospels is very inviting to people who are looking for answers, and speaks in terms that most people can grasp and appreciate.

And of course, FAST and PRAY!

You know your friend better than anyone here, and the Holy Spirit knows him even better. All I can say is, don’t become too frustrated. It will take time, but he must be open to it. If he’s not open to it, there’s nothing you can do but pray and live as an example.

God bless you!

 

[Daniel_Marsh]

christians don’t believe in dualism, and monism-dualism go hand in hand.

Satan is not equal to God. In true dualism, God and Satan would be equal.

 

[MattB]

It doesn’t sound to me like your friend has really found the peace he thinks he has. Rather, it seems like lots of justification and rationalization. I agree with the other advice – the best thing you can do is pray and be the best example you can be. Your example will shine and raise more deep questions in your friend than any apologetic argument. Of course, you should be ready, willing and able to answer questions about the faith, etc.

I find myself very often in the same position you are in. Perhaps just a word to stimulate your friend’s soul, such as a brief statement that “there really is an objective reality and truth out there” might move him. Right now he is caught in the humanist “anything goes” trap. I will pray for your friend, and for you.

Peace.

 

[dhgray]

Hey CM & MM, good to see you again. We are all in one accord or acura or volo or something.

You could pick your friend apart or just simple tell him that you will be praying for him on his spiritual journey and will be there if he has any questions. As to what he said:

I guess it is a conscious choice.

God gives us free choice

My feeling now is that religion is the biggest reason for the world’s problems, and I’m kind of sick of it.

you are right. Look at what is happening in the middle east "In the name of “Allha”. I’m sick of it too. ALL the major religions of the world preach peace and compassion.

Also, I’ve got issues with lots of things in the bible, catholicism, etc. as they just don’t add up logically for me.

like what?

I don’t consider anything that I do as wrong anymore, and I’m much more peaceful,

so if you decide to rob a bank, that’s ok, right?

Another thing regarding religion, I’m feeling like it is all just a collection of stories handed down over the ages, and their accuracy can’t be verified.

you are right and wrong. Many cultures have stories about the beginings of time and the Old Testiment was a collection of stories passed through the generations until they were written down. But you are wrong when you say they can not be verified. More and moare archielogical digging in and around Israel prove the stories to have some thread of truth.

Your thoughts?

I’m glad you are asking questions. I’m here if you need to talk.

 

[jplumey]

Well thanks for the responses so far. I am definitely go to pray for him and try to be an example. I think I might use something like what MattB said:

“there really is an objective reality and truth out there”

and what montanaman said:

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve abandoned the faith, but make sure you know what you’re rejecting. There’s the Faith, and then there’s what everyone thinks is the faith. The difference is galaxy-sized.

along with what dhgray said:

I’m glad you are asking questions. I’m here if you need to talk.

If he gets the sense that I am open-minded about hearing his opinions (or lack thereof) maybe he’ll be inclined to talk about it.