I
iwillendure
Guest
I met this girl about a year ago and we would talk occasionally, she was a very lovely person and as we talked more i asked her about her beliefs she told me she wasnt religious at all didnt really believe in God or anything. So ofcourse i tried to talk with her about it more but she kept asking me to drop it so i did and never mentioned it any more in the conversations we would have.
however since meeting her i dont know why but i was compelled to pray for her and so i did as much as i could for the next 6-8 months. we would talk and became friends but we never once talked about religion and if i ever tried to bring it up she would always force the conversation in another way and i would not pursue it, i would respect what she wanted and dropped it.
then one day i found out that she had made confirmation. the only i found out was because she had her hair in a different style and someone ask why is your hair like that and she said she did it because she made confirmation the day before. i found that she changed everything she believed she now started to believe in our Lord Jesus and accepted the churchs teachings. i was really moved by this that someone without a care at all for religion had actually converted such a way right in front of me.
now however comes the problem i did start to love her i got to watch as she would grow in faith and i would everyday pray to help her. now however she is attending college in another state and i dont really see her anymore although i did run into her by accident this christmas which was really nice.
and now i find when i try to pray for her it feels like i am doing it selfishly that although im praying for her it sometimes seems like im praying for myself that i would get to see her agian and be with her. or as im praying its now done with pride not love or compassion. im not sure what to do should i stop praying for her to do seems wrong though since it has become such a major part of my prayer life. but it also seems like im really only seeking for myself now.
however since meeting her i dont know why but i was compelled to pray for her and so i did as much as i could for the next 6-8 months. we would talk and became friends but we never once talked about religion and if i ever tried to bring it up she would always force the conversation in another way and i would not pursue it, i would respect what she wanted and dropped it.
then one day i found out that she had made confirmation. the only i found out was because she had her hair in a different style and someone ask why is your hair like that and she said she did it because she made confirmation the day before. i found that she changed everything she believed she now started to believe in our Lord Jesus and accepted the churchs teachings. i was really moved by this that someone without a care at all for religion had actually converted such a way right in front of me.
now however comes the problem i did start to love her i got to watch as she would grow in faith and i would everyday pray to help her. now however she is attending college in another state and i dont really see her anymore although i did run into her by accident this christmas which was really nice.
and now i find when i try to pray for her it feels like i am doing it selfishly that although im praying for her it sometimes seems like im praying for myself that i would get to see her agian and be with her. or as im praying its now done with pride not love or compassion. im not sure what to do should i stop praying for her to do seems wrong though since it has become such a major part of my prayer life. but it also seems like im really only seeking for myself now.
