Confused

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Lou3

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I have been married for 27 years. My wife has the papaloma virus. My wife is assuming I gave it to her. She discovered this 10 years ago.

Since then, their is definitely no sexual intercourse with out a condom. This is her demand, not mine. I am 54 and really do not want to live for several more years without sexual intamacy. This would make me feel more like a boarder than a husband.

I would appreciate imput.
Thank you.
 
Lou I can imagine your sorrow. And it must be very distressing to your wife.

Most people who have sexual contact with a partner with genital warts develop warts, usually within 3 months of contact, oral or otherwise. If infected but have no symptoms, you can still spread the virus to your partner and perhaps develop complications from the virus.

Dr. Donnica: in Sexually Transmitted Infections 1999 Oct;75(5):317-9, agrees that non-sexual transmission of human papilloma virus though controversial is possible. One study revealed that exposure can occur via handshakes with someone with genital warts. (Note to self) A study found that transmission of genital HPV infection via floor or seat surfaces is unlikely, [Scand J Infect Dis 1996;28(3):243-6]
Infected mothers can pass the virus to their babies during vaginal delivery, so I can understand your wife’s worries. [Rev Med Virol 1999 Jan-Mar;9(1):15-21]

Going back ten years…?

I pray there is a healthy resolution to this.
God grant His help to you both…Trishie
 
JMJ
I hear you bro!
Listen, if your wife is over childbearing age, then, and consult with a canon lawyer, a condom maybe ok. Not sure…
BUT, you are the husband, and normally artificial birth control is mortal sin. So love her as the husband and make sacrifices if you need to. Having sex isn’t worth your soul nor hers.
 
Have you been tested for it? Either way, there is treatment for it. At least, for her there is. If you have it, I’m sure there’s something for that as well. But my first concern would be to find out if you do indeed have it. And then go from there.
 
Lou3 said:
I have been married for 27 years. My wife has the papaloma virus. My wife is assuming I gave it to her. She discovered this 10 years ago.

Since then, their is definitely no sexual intercourse with out a condom. This is her demand, not mine. I am 54 and really do not want to live for several more years without sexual intamacy. This would make me feel more like a boarder than a husband.

I would appreciate imput.
Thank you.
Click to expand...
Condoms are not permitted under any circumstances, except for the use of a perforated one to collect a semen sample for testing.
 
Tsion said:
JMJ
I hear you bro!
Listen, if your wife is over childbearing age, then, and consult with a canon lawyer, a condom maybe ok. Not sure…
BUT, you are the husband, and normally artificial birth control is mortal sin. So love her as the husband and make sacrifices if you need to. Having sex isn’t worth your soul nor hers.
Click to expand...
i dunno tsion,but i dont think in any situation the church accepts use of condoms .
i understand the pain but as a catholic ,what u can do is to pray with hope and undergo treatment for the virus
“Having sex isn’t worth your soul nor hers”.i think u r failing to acknowledge the role of sex.during sex,u r taking part with god in creating a new life.its a wonderful plan at that.maybe u shouldnt have made that statement
 
I would look into medical therapy; perhaps although there might not be a cure, they may be times when relations are less likely to be transmissible than others, especially with antiviral meds.

Perhaps also the use of antiviral meds and the use of a perforated condom would lessen the risk of viral transmission, while leaving the act open to life. 🤷

Note: I know, I know that some believe that perforated condoms would be forbidden for such a circumstance, that they are only permissible for semen collection and evaluation. I’m going for a pastoral response here. The act would still be open to life.

And I’m fully aware that a perforated condom wouldn’t necessarily prevent viral transmission; note I used the word “lessen”.

I would submit that since perforated condoms are permissible for semen collection and evaluation on the basis that they permit the marital act to be open to life, that in this situation they might be permissible as well, as the use of such a condom wouldn’t be contraceptive and against church teachings.

Whether or not such a use, combined with medical therapy would be effective to reduce the probability of transmission is only speculation on my part; I’m not a human medical doctor, and surgical sterilization is perfectly acceptable and moral in my line of work. 😉
 
I’m not sure why your wife is now insisting on a condom if she already has HPV. Does she believe you have been unfaithful? That you may have other STDs? Can you explain what she views the purpose of the condom as? Have you been tested for this virus?

Regarding the condom’s moral implications, it is always gravely immoral and you should seek the Sacrament of Reconciliation and make a firm ammendment of purpose to discontinue using condoms. Talk to your priest.
 
1ke said:
I’m not sure why your wife is now insisting on a condom if she already has HPV. Does she believe you have been unfaithful? That you may have other STDs? Can you explain what she views the purpose of the condom as? Have you been tested for this virus?

Regarding the condom’s moral implications, it is always gravely immoral and you should seek the Sacrament of Reconciliation and make a firm ammendment of purpose to discontinue using condoms. Talk to your priest.
Click to expand...
That was my first inclination. Why use a condom after the fact? You guys need to go together and get some vital medical advice. This sounds like there is much more to the story. I would have thought that if you didn’t give the virus to her that YOU’D be the one wanting to wear the condom…HHMMM…I’m at a loss…teachccd
 
Good question, teach. I assumed that the OP didn’t have it and that his wife assumed that he did. Perhaps I misunderstood. :confused:
 
That’s why I suggested that he gets checked. It may be that she got it from someone else. The only way to find out is to have it checked. If you don’t have it, and she does, that’s going to open up a lot of questions.

As far as treatment goes, I knew one woman who went in for treatment. I can’t remember the method, but the warts were removed.
 
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