Confused

[puzzleannie]

Ok E. We had a meeting before with the priest and I asked him about getting married by a justice of the peace and he said NO that he can not endorse that because it is not in the Church then it is OUTSIDE of the sacrament and would therefore be a mortal sin and not a marriage recognized by the Church or God.
F. The cost to rent the Church for 1 day for wedding $800, if you want a reception afterwards $800 for reception hall, Donation to priest w/e you want (lets say $500) Rental of dress and tuxedo ($XXX) cost of wedding bands ($XXX)

If what you say is really true if we could go up after mass and tell the priest marry us now then I would do it tommorrow if it was possible, but I have never heard of this before and when we walked to the priest this was not giving as an option. PLUS they want us to take a 4 month marriage prep course as well before you can get married.
Part 2.

you already have children by her and now you gave her an engagement ring, I am a bit confused by your timeline

no what you are saying is that you, or she, or both want an expensive wedding with a reception, but can’t afford it, yet somehow think you can’t be married without a hall, tux, band etc.

you jumped into this situation without looking or thinking, even changing jobs and moving across country, yet you think the Church is off the beam by requiring a very MINIMAL 4 month marriage prep which costs at most a few bucks for a book?

go back to your priest, take his guidance, get your life in order, set your priorities according the bible, which if you have really read it, ask your protestant friend to show you what Jesus says about marriage and sex anyplace outside his ordained commands for it.

 

[Valke2]

All,

I was raised every protestant denomination, when I was a young teenager I used to go down and hang out at the local Catholic bookstore, shortly after I made my confirmation into the Church. Now because of my living situation and stuff, I met a guy at work who was showing me some things in the Bible and he really made me see alot of things, I am so confused: Half of me wants to believe all the Catholic rules the other half wants to believe just in reading the bible and trying to be a good person. I feel that as a Catholic I would be damned to hell because I commit so many mortal sins that trying to live a Catholic life is a un-obtainable goal for me, as a human being I feel that I fall short of the catholic goal and can never obtain. However I feel if I just read the Bible and believe in God if that gets me salvation then I can do that!

Why not be a good catholic and a good person? Instead of changing your belief system to fit your abilities, maybe change your abilities to conform with your belief system.

 

[Mr.Bee]

Ok let me answer some of the previous questions first:
A. I was confirmed into the Catholic Church in 2001
B. By my fiancee I mean the woman i gave a engagement ring to and asked to marry me so we are engaged, I guess you thought fiance meant something else?
C. She has never been married before and neither have I
D. She is a non-practicing Catholic
E. We had a meeting before with the priest and I asked him about getting married by a justice of the peace and he said NO that he can not endorse that because it is not in the Church then it is OUTSIDE of the sacrament and would therefore be a mortal sin and not a marriage recognized by the Church or God.
F. The cost to rent the Church for 1 day for wedding $800, if you want a reception afterwards $800 for reception hall, Donation to priest w/e you want (lets say $500) Rental of dress and tuxedo ($XXX) cost of wedding bands ($XXX)

If what you say is really true if we could go up after mass and tell the priest marry us now then I would do it tommorrow if it was possible, but I have never heard of this before and when we walked to the priest this was not giving as an option. PLUS they want us to take a 4 month marriage prep course as well before you can get married.
Part 2.
I moved out here with her to be with her family in NY I lived in CA, which means all my family is in CA not in nY so there is no staying with a brother, the priest says as long as I remain celibate and live like brother and sister then it is ok, I can do that at my peak of spiritual strength, but another thing that has gotten me frustrated is I was a EOMHC in CA I took the class under the Bishop here to transfer my EOMHC to their Diocese, well it took them 4 months to get back to me and get me my card and then the lady told me that the schedule is full I got wait until Feb to get on, (I got my card in Dec.) I love being a EOMHC and I guess it gave me a extra infusion of spiritual grace and without it, I dont know I guess you can see what happens

If $800 to rent the church, and a little patience is stopping you from getting married, then maybe you’re not ready to get married?

 

[Mr.Bee]

…Wait a minute, I might be confused here, but I re-read trhough the posts again, and: you have 2 children already?! Am I reading this right?

I think this isn’t about you anymore. If this is the case, Catholic or not the answer is clear.

Just my 2 cents

 

[David_Vestal]

To add to my frustration I am trying to get back into the Church thing and as I stated I would server as a Eucharistic Minister (obviously when I was practicing) and the lady who schedules the ministers wont even take the time of day to call me back, its little things like this that just spiritually frustrate a person even more and push them away

 

[daeve]

You know what you have to do, David. There’s no easy way to resolve this. Make the break, whatever it takes or get married.

 

[tmango]

As a catholic, you know that you have to try to do the right thing, even if you fail, you must try. To freely remain in this situation is to knowingly do the wrong thing. As others have said, either get married or remove yourself from this situation. By remaining status quo, you are committing grave sin and also aiding in the sin of another.

Even if you went to confession and the priest absovled you of your sin, it would not be valid if you had no intention of changing the situation. You must want to do penance and do everything in your power to not repeat this sin, but by doing nothing, you remain in sin, mortal sin. In addition, receiving communion while in a state of mortal sin is sacrilege.

It comes down to choices, not excuses. You either want to walk the righteous path or not. And what about those children? Is this condusive to their spiritual well being? You have a responsibility to them, too.

As Fr Corpai, and others, have stated: Sin slows the flow of grace from God to the sinner, and mortal sin stops the flow of grace. It is important to reconcile those sins so grace can start to flow once more. Remember, it is all about repenting for your sins. If you fall, get right back up and start again, but you must repent for your sins, otherwise they will remain with you.

 

[lak611]

To add to my frustration I am trying to get back into the Church thing and as I stated I would server as a Eucharistic Minister (obviously when I was practicing) and the lady who schedules the ministers wont even take the time of day to call me back, its little things like this that just spiritually frustrate a person even more and push them away

At least in my diocese, EMHC’s must be Catholics in good standing who are not doing anything in their lives that can cause scandal upon the Church. Someone who is cohabiting with a woman he is not married to and has children by would be a cause for scandal.

 

[strngrnrth]

I’m not even interested in getting married and I’ve seen lovely second-hand wedding dresses for about twelve dollars, less on sale, and tuxedoes can also be had cheaply. Have the reception at home or a picnic reception in an unreserved park if weather permits. It’s usually very cheap to reserve a park shelter if you need to. Sometimes a set of wedding bands appear at a chain jewelry store for about fifty bucks a ring, and less at a buy-and-sell or pawn shop. The whole thing could come to under $1000, license and everything, and it wouldn’t have to be a street-clothes-in-the-courthouse wedding either.